It holds true that sometimes, there can be too many cooks in the kitchen when trying to plan your big day. Yes, the love for your friends and family runs deep—but it can get really hard to make wedding decisions with so many opinions floating around. It’s even more difficult to keep the peace between parties when conflicting ideals arise. We have a few pointers for you and yours when you find yourself in this situation.

Set clear boundaries before any of the planning begins. Before you even jump into planning anything, make it clear that this is you and your partner’s day.  If a loved one brings up a venue you should absolutely, without a doubt, most definitely reserve, let them know you will take a look, but you will also be looking at other venues.  Let them know you are considering their recommendation, but are keeping your options open, sending the message that you appreciate their idea and will ultimately make the decision after all ideas are considered.

Travel in small groups. The more people you bring with you to make dress, flower, catering and décor decisions, the more opinions you are going to receive. Choose the least amount of absolutely essential people that you cannot make a decision without, and don’t add any extras. This will cut down on the amount of conflicting ideas that could arise.

Skip the consult. Sometimes you just have to listen to your gut when making certain decisions and asking your friends or loved ones what they think may just confuse you that much more. It’s almost impossible to make a decision with so many different views on one idea. This extends the amount of time it will take for you to make a decision, and you may just forget what it is that you and your partner actually want. Don’t ask what others think if you know what you want, just choose what you want and be confident in your choice! You are never going to choose something wrong if it’s something you like; this is your day!

Hand a little more control over to your planner. Sometimes introducing an objective third party into the planning process can be a great buffer between you and your family and friends. There are a lot of opinions floating around, but if you let your planner know what you want, he/she will certainly make it happen without feeling an emotional obligation to anyone else. Then, if someone is upset about it, the planner will be the middle person to back up you and your choices.

Of course you want all your loved ones to be there to help you map out your special day, but in reality it can be a bit tricky. You don’t have to cut them out of the planning process altogether, you just need to make sure you set clear boundaries and let everyone know that even though you may go a different direction, you still value their ideas. Elegant Affairs is of course here to help make this all easier!