What You Need to Know About Rehearsal Dinners + Our Pro Tips

When it comes to planning a wedding, most couples put a lot of focus on the ceremony and reception—and rightfully so! It’s your wedding day, after all. But there’s another event that often gets overlooked in the early stages of planning: the rehearsal dinner.

This pre-wedding gathering sets the tone for your big weekend, brings your loved ones together, and gives you a chance to relax before the whirlwind begins. Whether you're just getting started or putting the final touches on your timeline, here’s what you need to know about the rehearsal dinner—plus our best planner-approved pro tips.

🎉 What Is a Rehearsal Dinner Anyway?

Traditionally held the night before the wedding, the rehearsal dinner comes after your ceremony walk-through. It’s an opportunity for your wedding party, immediate family, and sometimes out-of-town guests to gather in a more casual, intimate setting before the main event.

Think: relaxed vibes, delicious food, heartfelt toasts, and quality time with the people who matter most. It's also a chance for you and your partner to say thank you to everyone who's supported your journey.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Who Hosts the Rehearsal Dinner?

Historically, the groom’s parents hosted and paid for the rehearsal dinner—especially if the bride’s family was covering most of the wedding costs. But nowadays, anything goes. The dinner might be hosted by either set of parents, both families together, or the couple themselves (especially for destination weddings or smaller guest counts).

We’ve even seen couples host casual versions with just appetizers or tapas. The key is to talk with everyone involved early, set clear expectations, and agree on the budget. Transparency avoids confusion and keeps things drama-free.

✉️ Who Should Be Invited?

You don’t have to invite everyone on your guest list. At a minimum, we recommend including:

• Wedding party (bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearers, etc.)

• Immediate family members from both sides

• Officiant

• Plus-ones of the wedding party

If you have the flexibility and budget, it's thoughtful to include out-of-town guests or anyone who traveled a long way to celebrate with you. If you’re expecting a lot of travelers, consider combining your rehearsal dinner with a casual welcome party to include everyone without going overboard.

🥂 Where Should You Host It?

There’s no one-size-fits-all here. Your rehearsal dinner can be formal, casual, or somewhere in between. Some of our favorite ideas:

• Your go-to local restaurant

• A private dining room in a hotel

• Backyard or garden party

• Pavilion at a park or the beach

• Winery or local brewery

• Your own home

Choose a location that feels meaningful and is close to the ceremony site. You don’t want your guests stuck in traffic the night before the big day.

📝 What Should Happen at the Rehearsal Dinner?

Rehearsal dinners usually follow a relaxed structure. Here's a basic flow:

1. Ceremony Rehearsal: Takes about 30–45 minutes.

2. Arrival + Mingling: Allow time for greetings and drinks.

3. Dinner is Served: Whether it’s buffet, plated, or family-style.

4. Toasts + Speeches: Informal, but meaningful.

5. Gifts + Thank-Yous: Optional but always appreciated.

6. Open Time: Connect, laugh, enjoy the evening.

🎤 Do We Have to Toast?

Short answer: no. But it’s a beautiful time to speak from the heart.

If you do open the floor, we recommend the following toast order:

• The hosts (whoever is paying for the dinner)

• The couple

• Additional guests who want to share a few words

Encourage speakers to keep toasts under 5 minutes. Having a loose order ahead of time keeps things moving and avoids awkward silences or overlap.

✨ Should We Decorate?

You don’t need to go over the top. The venue’s ambience is often enough—but adding a few simple, thoughtful touches can make the space feel extra special.

Consider:

• String lights or candles

• Small floral arrangements

• Custom signage

• A photo display of your relationship

The key? Keep it cozy, personal, and stress-free.

💡 Final Thoughts:

The rehearsal dinner isn’t just a formality—it’s the heartfelt beginning of your wedding weekend. It sets the tone, helps guests feel welcomed, and gives you space to breathe, connect, and soak in the love before the main event.

So plan it with intention, lean into gratitude, and don’t forget to enjoy the moment. It may become one of your favorite memories from the whole weekend.

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Seattle Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

The Secret to a Cohesive Wedding Aesthetic: Tips from a Planner

When you’re planning your wedding, there are a few things that not only make a major visual impact but also emotionally resonate with your guests. A cohesive aesthetic is what ties your invitations to your florals, your dress to your decor, and your venue to your overall vibe. It’s not just about looking beautiful—it’s about creating an immersive experience that feels thoughtful, intentional, and uniquely you.

As a wedding planner, I’ve seen firsthand how powerful a well-executed wedding theme can be. But I’ve also seen the flip side—how easy it is to feel overwhelmed by Pinterest boards, Instagram inspiration, and conflicting ideas. So let’s talk about how to pull it all together without the stress.

Start With You and Your Story

Like anything meaningful, your wedding aesthetic should be built on a solid foundation—and that foundation is your love story. What places, colors, memories, or moments define you as a couple? Are you adventurous hikers? Introverted homebodies? High school sweethearts? Start by listing adjectives that describe your relationship and individual personalities. Are you romantic, modern, earthy, bold, or vintage-inspired?

This simple exercise will help guide your decision-making and keep your aesthetic grounded in you. Infuse your personalities into the details—and skip the trends that don’t feel true to who you are.

Choose a Color Palette and Stick to It

Color is one of the most effective tools for creating cohesion. Choose two to three main colors, then build out with complementary tones. Think in terms of hues and saturation (e.g., dusty rose instead of just “pink”).

Once you lock it in—stick to it. Use your palette in your invitations, flowers, bridal party outfits, linens, signage, and even signature cocktails. YES, you can incorporate multiple colors, but intentionality is the name of the game.

P.S. Haven’t read our blog on choosing your perfect palette yet? Add it to your post-reading list!

Let Your Venue Speak

Your venue sets the tone before your guests even take a seat. Whether it’s a grand estate, beachfront bungalow, or industrial rooftop, let your venue guide your aesthetic. Choose decor that complements the space—not something that clashes or feels forced.

If you haven’t picked your venue yet, select one that already aligns with your dream aesthetic. It’ll save you time, money, and sanity later when it comes to decorating.

Carry the Theme Throughout

Once your vibe and color palette are dialed in, keep that consistency going from start to finish. This means going beyond the obvious (like flowers and table settings) and dialing into the details, like:

• Fonts and stationery

• Table numbers and escort cards

• Menu and ceremony program designs

• Bar signage and signature drink styling

It’s the little things that reinforce the big vision.

Find Like-Minded Vendors

Working with the right vendor team makes all the difference. Choose florists, designers, photographers, and other creatives whose portfolios match your style. During consultations, bring an inspiration board and ask for their creative input.

A great question to ask: “Have you worked in this style before?” And if not, “How would you approach it?”

Great vendors won’t just “get” your vision—they’ll elevate it.

Say Hello to Texture and Dimension

Color is crucial, but don’t overlook texture. A cohesive look doesn’t mean everything has to match. It means everything works together intentionally.

Some of our favorite ways to add depth and dimension:

• Velvet table runners for rich elegance

• Dried florals mixed with fresh blooms

• Hand-lettered signage and calligraphy

• Mixed matte and glossy finishes

Texture adds interest and keeps your design from falling flat.

Keep It About You—But Make It Refined

Your wedding should reflect you as a couple. Add personal touches that feel meaningful, like a custom monogram, a nod to your hometowns, or cultural rituals.

Just remember: less is more. Personal doesn’t have to mean cluttered.

Create a Style Guide

If you’re working with a team, a style guide is your BFF. Use Canva or a simple PDF to gather your:

• Color palette (with HEX/RGB codes)

• Font samples

• Inspiration images

• Mood boards for tablescapes, florals, and signage

Distribute it to your vendor team so everyone is literally on the same page.

Final Thought: Don’t Aim for Perfection, Aim for Meaning

At the end of the day, your wedding doesn’t need to be Pinterest-perfect. It needs to feel like you.

So if a flower isn’t the exact shade of dusty rose or your signage isn’t viral-worthy, it’s okay. What your guests will remember is how your celebration felt. With thoughtful planning, a dream vendor team, and a clear vision, you can design a wedding that’s both cohesive and completely unforgettable.

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

Our Top 10 Wedding Details You Shouldn’t Overlook

Planning a wedding is a beautiful, exciting journey—but let’s be real: it can also be overwhelming. Between booking the venue, choosing the perfect dress, and finalizing your guest list, it's easy for smaller details to fall through the wedding planning cracks. And while they might seem minor at first, these overlooked details can seriously impact how your wedding day runs—and how relaxed you feel while soaking it all in.

To help you stay one step ahead and decrease the stress on your wedding day, we’ve compiled our top 10 wedding day details you shouldn’t overlook. These are the little things that make a big difference on your wedding day. 

#01: Create a Wedding Day Emergency Kit 
If you don’t have one yet – make one. Or, check with your wedding planner or day of coordinator and see if they have one. You may think that you're invisible to emergencies, or hear a wedding day horror story and think “that will never happen to me.” But, trust us – it CAN happen. We’ve had everything from zippers break on bridesmaids dresses to the bustle breaking on a wedding dress. And the one thing that saved the day was our trusty emergency kit. We were able to sew the bridesmaid into her dress and safety pin that french bustled up. Your emergency kit is your behind-the-scenes lifesaver. From minor wardrobe malfunctions to unexpected headaches, a wedding day emergency kit will have your back. Our MUST haves when stocking our kit are: 

• Safety Pins

• Fashion Tape

• Face Blotting Papers

• Scissors

• Stain Remover Pins

• Mints

• Lighter

• Black Pens

• Chalkboard and Paint Pens

• Bobby Pins

• Deodorant

• Mini Sewing Kit

• Band-Aids

• Tampons/Pads

• Pain Relievers

Make sure someone in your bridal party knows where it is and is in charge of keeping it nearby. You may not need it, but if you do—you’ll be so glad it’s there.

#02: Feed Your Vendors
People are happier when they are fed. That’s just the honest truth. Did you know that some of your vendors spend 10 or more hours on their feet the day of your wedding? I can’t tell you how good of a feeling it is to be well-fed at a wedding. Not only are we hungry, but it keeps your vendor team happy and energized. As you make your final counts with your caterer, include your vendors and ask how many individuals will be present from each vendor party. Talk to your caterer and ensure there are vendor meals available or that they are able to eat the served food. Feed them at an appropriate and reasonable time.

#03: The Marriage License 
We’re going to tell you a story. A couple many, many, years ago found out that they were never legally married. Their officiant had never mailed their marriage license. Sounds like a horror story right? Your marriage license is the big parting gift from your wedding day. It is the one document that makes everything legal - it’s the thing that counts. Make sure it’s packed, pre-filled before the ceremony. We recommend signing it directly after the reception and if you’re not mailing it out, ensure that it will be sent with your officiant or someone who is trustworthy. Some states require you to return it within a specific time frame after the wedding—so assign someone to keep it safe and send it back promptly. And before you send it off, take a picture of the signed license, just in case it gets misplaced. Then follow up with the courthouse or county office to ensure that it was received. 

#04: Share the Timeline
Timelines are the backbone of the overall coordination. If you are creating your own timeline, or your planner is doing it for you – it should be shared with your vendor team, wedding party, and any additional people that MUST know. Include key moments like:

• Rental Pick-ups

• Vendor arrivals and departures

• Hair and Makeup Appointments

• First Look

• Ceremony Start Time

• Reception Details 

• Exit Time 

• Venue Closing Time

Even a simple, one-page overview can prevent dozens of last-minute questions and keep everyone moving smoothly through the day.

#05: List of Must Have Photo Shots
Photographers are skilled at capturing natural, candid moments—but they won’t know which formal or family photos matter most to you unless you tell them. Sit down ahead of time and list out the must-have groupings: grandparents, cousins, college friends, etc. It’s also helpful to assign a “photo wrangler” from your family who knows everyone’s names and can help organize people quickly. Whoever is assigned, and if you have a wedding planner we suggest you speak to them on this, give them the list. It would even be smart to include this on your timeline and let your VIPs know that they will be needed post ceremony. Don’t forget detail shots, either—bouquets, centerpieces, signage, and those hand-written vows.

#06: Wear Comfortable Shoes
We love fashionable shoes. But, we also love a comfortable couple. If you’ve packed some killer shoes for your ceremony, please pack a back-up pair. It is okay to swap out of your heels and wear a pair of shoes that you can dance the night away. You don’t want to stress about the pain in your feet or be begging for relief. So, just plan ahead. And even if you don’t need a change, bring a back up pair. You’ll be able to move throughout the night without pain and enjoy the dance floor. 

#07: Create a Plan for Gifts and Cards
As the night wraps up, it is vital to create a plan of how everything gets home and with who. You will want to designate one person to support you with gifts and cards. Yes, only one. This person should be a VIP or someone that you trust. And don’t forget the thank you cards. If you’re on the fence about thank you cards, we’ve got a blog for that. They are essential, so don’t think you can skimp on sending out those thank you’s. Plan on keeping a record of who gave what and send that thank you card out within 6 weeks of your wedding day. 

#08: Keep it Guest Friendly 
As much as this day is your wedding, it is a chance for you to celebrate with your guests. Your guests have traveled near and far to attend your wedding. They’ve figured out their accommodations, rentals, airfare etc. So, creating little gestures to support their comfort will go a long way. Create little signs that can support and direct your guests throughout the evening. Welcome your guests and thank them for their support and attendance. Provide your guests with water, especially in the summer months. Whatever you do, be intentional with it and work to make a welcoming event and space for your guests.

#09: Go With the Flow
Along with the timeline, comes consideration of the flow of the evening. The ideal wedding has great flow, meaning it feels effortless. Sometimes, it can happen by accident, but create your timeline with smart, built in transitions. Plan every detail out, even including how guests will know to move from the ceremony to cocktail hour, or that it’s time to head to the grand exit. You’ll even need to think about what your guests will do while waiting and create a plan. Smooth transitions will create a polished event and keep your guests full of joy. 

#10: Time to Soak it In
We always tell our couples to enjoy all the moments, because it goes by in a blink of an eye. Try to plan purposeful moments for you and your spouse. Create a moment, or two to just soak in your new marriage and each other. We always recommend signing your license directly after the ceremony and having a private moment. Speak with your caterer and see if they can create a little plate of appetizers with a bottle of your favorite champagne to enjoy together. Then take some time, it doesn’t have to be an hour, it can be as little as 15-20 mintues. Whether it's a private first look, a moment after the ceremony, or even sneaking away during sunset for a quick walk or photo session. These intentional pauses are when you’ll catch your breath, look at each other, and really feel the magic of it all. It may be one of the few moments all day that you’re truly alone together.

While big-ticket items like venues and vendors often steal the spotlight, it’s the small, thoughtful details that turn a good wedding into a great one. From emergency kits and comfy shoes to thoughtful signage and time to breathe, paying attention to these often-overlooked details will help your wedding day run smoothly—and feel extra meaningful. But, at the end, it’s important to remember that perfection isn’t the goal and nor will it probably be happy. But, planning the details and accounting for the “what ifs” will give you the opportunity to relax, have fun, and fully enjoy your wedding day.

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.