What I Wish Every Couple Knew Before Touring Venues

Venue touring is exciting. It’s often the first “real” step couples take that makes the wedding feel tangible. You’re imagining yourselves walking down aisles, clinking glasses, dancing under lights. But after years of planning weddings, and watching couples tour venues with stars in their eyes. I can tell you this, venue tours are also where a lot of unnecessary stress, confusion, and budget heartbreak begins.

Here’s what we wish every couple knew before stepping foot into a venue for the first time.

#01: A Beautiful Venue Can Still Be the Wrong Venue

This is the hardest truth to accept when you’re venue shopping. A venue can be stunning, Instagram famous, Pinterest worthy, and wildly popular, but it may still not be the right venue for your wedding. 

When touring a venue, couples will typically fall in love with the overall aesthetics first, then logistics come second. As a wedding planner, I am always looking beyond the pretty. How does the flow work? Where do guests park? What happens if it rains? How far is the bar from the dance floor? 

A venue should support your vision, not fight it. Beautify matters, but functionality matters more.

#02: Your Guest Count is Not a Guess, it’s a Decision

One of the biggest mistakes couples make is touring venues before locking in a realistic guest count. Often our clients when asked that question respond with “Maybe 120, or 150?” The difference between thirty people can completely change which venues actually work for your guest count. 

Venues have capacity numbers, but capacity and comfort are two very different things. A space that technically holds 150 may feel cramped once you add a dance floor, band, bar, and tables.

Before touring, sit down and have the sometimes, uncomfortable guest list conversation. You’ll save yourself a lot of emotional whiplash later. And remember, your guest count will be a driving force in your venue selection. 

#03: Ask What is Included, Then Ask Again 

Couples often hear, “tables and chairs are included,” and move on. As a planner, I slow this way down, because we need details. 

What kind of table and chairs are included? How many hours are included? Who sets up the chairs and tables? Are there additional chairs for the ceremony space? Who breaks them down post reception? Are linens required or included? 

What seems like a great venue price can balloon once you realize how much you’ll need to rent elsewhere. Or what is included may not be enough or the aesthetic that you’re going for. Always ask for a detailed list of inclusions and don’t assume anything.

#04: The Venue Cost Is Only Part of the Real Price

This one breaks hearts every season. A venue might fit your budget on paper, but the required vendors, rentals, and restrictions push it far beyond what you planned. Some venues require you hire their in-house catering. Others require specific preferred vendors, such as planners, bartenders, or rental companies.

As a planner, I always encourage couples to ask, “What do couples typically spend all-in for a wedding here?” The answer is often far more revealing than the base venue fee once everything is added in. 

#05: Rain Plans Are Not Created Equal

Every venue will tell you they have a rain plan. That does not mean the rain plan is one you’ll love. If you’re booking the venue for the outside layout and hate the inside, then perhaps this venue isn’t for you. You’ll need to ask if the backup plan is indoors or under a tent. Does it feel like a downgrade? Does it affect guest comfort, acoustic, or flow? Can you pull off your dream aesthetics still? 

I’ve seen couples fall in love with an outdoor ceremony space only to realize the rain option feels like an afterthought. You should be genuinely okay with Plan B, not just tolerating it.

#06: Think About Guest Experience, Not Just Photos

Couples naturally imagine how their wedding will look. Planners imagine how it will feel and be executed. 

Is the ceremony far from the reception? Are guests standing for long periods? Is there shade, heat, air conditioning, or cover from wind? Your guests may not remember your exact floral palette, but they will remember if they were uncomfortably hot, cold, or confused about where to go next.

#07: Staff Support Matters More Than You Think

A venue isn’t just a space, it’s a team.

During tours, couples often focus on the property and overlook the people. As a planner, I pay close attention to how venue coordinators communicate. Are they organized? Transparent? Helpful? Flexible? Do they include set up and breakdown on site? 

A supportive venue team can make planning smoother and the wedding day calmer. A difficult one can add stress you never saw coming.

#08: Noise Restrictions Can Change the Entire Night

Nothing deflates a dance floor like music being cut early. Ask about noise ordinances, amplification limits, and curfews. An 11 p.m. hard stop might be fine, or it might be a dealbreaker depending on your crowd.

If dancing and partying are important to you, this needs to be part of the conversation before you book.

#09: You Don’t Need to Decide Everything on the Tour

Couples sometimes feel pressure to “know” immediately. And it is okay if you simply don’t. Keep in mind that venue tours are about gathering information, not making instant commitments. It is more than okay  to leave, talk things through, compare notes, and sleep on it.

In fact, I often recommend touring your top choices twice, once emotionally, once practically.

#10: Your Planner (If You Have One) Should Be There Early

If you’re working with a planner, bring them in before you book, not after. Wedding planners see red flags couples don’t know to look for. We’ve also worked as planners at a lot of venues in our local area. We ask the unromantic, but essential questions. We understand how venue policies affect your timeline, budget, and vendor options.

Even a consultation before booking can save you from choosing a venue that creates unnecessary challenges down the road.

#11: The Venue Sets the Tone for Everything Else

Your venue influences your budget, decor needs, vendor availability, timeline, and guest experience. It’s not just a backdrop, it’s the foundation of your wedding planning journey. 

This is our biggest reason why we wish couples would slow down, ask more questions, and tour with intention instead of urgency. The right venue doesn’t just look good. It feels right. It supports your priorities, fits your guest count, respects your budget, and allows you to actually enjoy your wedding day.

When couples tell me, “Once we found the venue, everything else fell into place,” it’s almost always true, when couples choose wisely.

So before you tour, get clear on what matters most to you. Comfort or drama? Party or intimacy? Flexibility or convenience? And remember, the best venue isn’t the one that impresses everyone on Instagram. It’s the one that lets you show up on your wedding day relaxed, confident, and ready to celebrate.

That’s what I wish every couple knew, before the tours even begin.

How to Celebrate Love This Valentine’s Day — and Every Day of the Year: A heartfelt guide for engaged couples in the midst of wedding planning

Valentine’s Day is upon us — a day filled with hearts, chocolates, and romantic gestures that make your love feel celebrated. But here’s the truth many couples discover once they’re engaged: love shouldn’t be confined to one Sunday in February.

Whether you're knee-deep in vendor contracts, venue tours, or Pinterest boards, this Valentine’s Day can be a meaningful pause in the hustle of wedding planning — a moment to reconnect with why you started this journey together in the first place.

And if you’re reading this while planning your wedding in the Pacific Northwest? Whether you’re searching for a Tacoma wedding planner, Seattle wedding coordinator, or both, we’re celebrating love with you — today and every day.

Why Valentine’s Day Matters (Even When You’re Engaged)

Your engagement season is a magical mix of excitement and stress. You’re living through one of the most meaningful chapters of your life — but sometimes it comes with timelines, decisions, and so many choices.

That’s exactly why Valentine’s Day matters.

According to relationship experts, romance doesn’t need expensive dinners or grand gestures to thrive. Instead, small, thoughtful actions that reflect how you truly love each other are what make connections stronger over time.

It’s the little moments — coffee together before a planning meeting, a spontaneous walk, a note left on the bathroom mirror — that remind you you’re not just planning a wedding. You’re building a life.

Celebrate Valentine’s Day With Intention

Instead of let’s-do-the-classic dinner vibe, here are ways to create meaningful moments while honoring your journey:

1. Take a Wedding Planning Break

Sometimes the connection you need most isn’t about seating charts — it’s about feeling connected to each other again. Use Valentine’s Day as a chance to shift focus from color swatches to quality time.

Unplug from to-dos
Put the calendar away
Hold hands and laugh together

This simple shift creates space to breathe and remember why you’re doing all this planning in the first place.

2. Recreate Your Favorite Memories

Whether it was your first date, first trip, or the moment you got engaged, revisiting meaningful experiences makes Valentine’s Day feel personal — not just something “you’re supposed to do.”

Maybe that’s:

  • A cozy dinner at home with your favorite playlist

  • A walk at your favorite park (even if it’s February chilly)

  • A candlelit brunch that feels warm and intimate

Celebrating these meaningful moments reinforces your bond and turns Valentine’s Day into a tradition your future self will cherish.

3. Create Your Own Couple Rituals

Some couples build traditions that last far beyond Valentine’s Day. Ideas include:

  • Writing love letters to each other every February 14th

  • Toasting with champagne in engraved flutes — maybe even ones you’ll use on your wedding day

  • Making a playlist of songs that tell your story

Small rituals like these show your love intentionally, not just on holidays, but every year you celebrate together beyond.

Love Beyond the Chocolates: Ways to Celebrate Every Day

Valentine’s Day is special — but the strongest relationships are built on consistent connection. Here’s how to carry that same feeling beyond February 14th.

1. Practice Daily Appreciation

Daily gratitude doesn’t have to be grand — it’s powerful because it’s consistent.

Tell your partner:

  • “I appreciate you.”

  • “Thank you for handling that call.”

  • “I love the way you make me laugh.”

These little affirmations build a culture of love in your relationship that lasts long after wedding planning ends.

2. Celebrate the Hidden Moments

Not every day will be Instagram-perfect. But those “hidden moments” — packing your partner lunch, sending a midday good-luck text, or offering help with wedding to-dos — matter.

Romance isn’t always roses and fine dining. It’s support, presence, and showing up — again and again.

3. Build Love Habits Together

Ask yourselves:

  • What makes each of us feel loved?

  • How can we give that — not just once, but often?

  • What routines bring joy into our ordinary moments?

Maybe you start each morning with coffee together. Maybe you end each week with a movie night. When you build habits that honor both partner’s love languages, connection becomes a part of daily life — not just a seasonal event.

A Valentine’s Day Planning List (for Engaged Couples)

Let’s be honest: planning a wedding can pull your attention in a hundred directions. So here’s a Valentine’s Day-themed planning list for couples juggling love and logistics:

This Valentine’s Day, take time to:

  • Sit together with a notebook (not a spreadsheet) and visualize your dream wedding

  • Share three things you love about each other, outside the wedding plan

  • Take a break from screens and just be present with one another

  • Book something fun — even small — for date night

  • Celebrate your love before you celebrate the wedding

This simple shift keeps your relationship the centerpiece of the planning journey.

How to Keep Love at the Center of Wedding Planning

Here’s a secret: the best weddings don’t happen when everything is perfect. They happen when couples feel connected — emotionally, spiritually, and in how they support each other.

And guess what? You don’t need expensive dinners or staged moments to make that happen. Experts emphasize that love thrives through intentional, everyday actions tailored to what matters most to you as a couple.

So let Valentine’s Day remind you of:

Why you said “yes.”
Why you chose this person.
Why you’re spending your life together.

And then let that purpose guide your wedding planning decisions — one day at a time.

Why Engagement Season Is the Perfect Time to Celebrate Love

Engagement isn’t just a phase of planning logistics — it’s a beautiful period of building a life together. Valentine’s Day can be a moment to renew your commitment, enjoy your connection, and remember: every day is an opportunity to show love.

Whether you:

  • Hold each other a little tighter during long vendor calls

  • Take breaks together instead of scrolling seating charts

  • Celebrate wins (big and small) with intentional rituals

you’re writing a love story that goes far beyond your wedding day.

Make Every Day a Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day isn’t just about chocolates, red roses, or prix-fixe dinners. It’s about honoring connection, prioritizing presence, and choosing each other — today and every day.

If you’re currently searching for a Tacoma wedding planner or Seattle wedding coordinator, remember that the best part of your wedding isn’t the decor or the dress — it’s the bond you’re nurturing right now.

Cherish this time.
Celebrate your love often.
And take every opportunity to make each day feel a bit more like Valentine’s Day.

Our Honest Take on Common Wedding Planning Pitfalls 

After planning weddings for years - across ballrooms, backyards, PNW beaches, and destination weddings - I can tell you this with pure confidence… most wedding stress is preventable. Okay, not all of it (family dynamics are gonna continue to family dynamic) but a surprising amount of chaos comes from a very few common planning pitfalls. 

If you know where couples tend to stumble, you can sidestep the drama, protect your budget, and actually enjoy the process. So let’s talk about the big ones, from guest list disasters to vendor miscommunications, and how to avoid them like a pro. 

#01: The Guest List Spiral 

Yes, the guest list. This is the fastest way to turn an engaged couple into a stress spiral. 

Couples start with the vague idea of size, with the thought often being “oh – maybe 120.” Then, parents add names, you forget about your coworkers, then guilt creeps in and suddenly the venue is too small and the budget is upside down. Or even worse, guests are invited before the couple has finalized their venue. 

There are three non-negotiables to avoid this. 

  1. Set your maximum budget 

  2. Follow your venue capacity 

  3. And only invite who you actually want there

Create an A-list and B-list early and be crystal clear with anyone contributing financially about how much say they have. Also, never invite people verbally before your invitations go out. Don’t let those cocktails get to you and start inviting everyone in your office. Because the casual “you’ll be there right” or “you’re definitely invited!” comments cause RSVP nightmares later. 

Remember, every additional guest affects everything - your catering, rentals, formal invitations, favors, and staffing. One extra table isn’t just one extra table. 

#02: Booking a Venue before Understanding the Full Cost 

We’ve toured countless venues with couples. Couples often fall in love with the venue’s aesthetic, but don’t fully understand what is included and what isn’t. Then come surprise costs for rentals, lighting, power, staffing, or required vendors. 

Ask for a full breakdown before signing to avoid this common mistake. We highly recommend you ask the following questions: 

  1. What is included in the rental fee?

  2. Are there required vendors or a preferred list? 

  3. Is there in-house catering?

  4. What are the set-up and break-down times or contract hours?

  5. Will tables and chairs be set up? Or do you need to plan to set up?

  6. Are there noise restrictions or curfews?

A venue that you may think is cheaper, can quickly become more expensive once you add everything needed to make it functional. Sometimes, the all-inclusive option actually saves you money and your sanity. 

#03: Underestimating the Budget or Skipping the Budget Overall 

Picture this - planning based on vibes instead of numbers. Often these couples can book big ticket items first, then panic when there’s nothing left in the budget for florals, attire, or photography. 

Build a realistic budget early and include a contingency fund with 5-10% minimum. Prioritize what matters most to you as a couple. If food and photography need to be your top tier priority, then maybe eliminate the favors and elaborate signage. And don’t forget to track your spending. A simple spreadsheet or printout is better than trusting your memory or your bank app. 

#04: Vendor Miscommunication 

This is a big one - assuming vendors are all on the same page, without actually ensuring they are. Different timelines, missing details, unclear expectations - it’s one of the biggest causes of wedding day stress for you and your vendors. 

Communication is everything. Share your final timeline with ALL of your vendors. If you have a planner, make sure that timeline is sent out to all vendors and each vendor has their corresponding part in the overall timeline. Confirm all arrival times and responsibilities and put it all in writing. 

If you don’t have a planner, we highly suggest you hire at least a day coordinator for your wedding day. You do not want to be the point person on your wedding day. Couples should not be answering vendor questions while getting ready. 

#05: Trying to DIY Too Much 

This is when Pinterest confidence meets real-life time constraints. Couples often take on too many DIY projects, then end up overwhelmed, over budget, exhausted, and assembling centerpieces at midnight the night before the wedding.

Ask yourself: 

  1. Is this actually saving money or just adding stress? 

  2. Who is setting this up on the wedding day? 

  3. What happens if it’s not finished? 


If you love crafting, great. But, limit DIY projects to a few meaningful elements. Your time and energy are valuable, especially in the few final weeks leading up to your wedding. 

#06: Ignoring the Guest Experience

Couples focus so much on how the wedding looks and can often forget how it feels to attend the wedding 

To avoid this, you’ll want to think like a guest. 

  1. Is the ceremony too long? 

  2. Is there enough seating, shade, or heat?

  3. Are guests waiting too long between events?

  4. Is there clear signage and direction? 


Comfort matters. Happy guests remember great food, smooth flow, and feeling considered, not just beautiful decor. 

#07: Not Building a Realistic Timeline

Are you packing too much into the day or underestimating how long things take? Have you considered hair, make up, travel time and family photos? 

Be sure you create a timeline that includes buffer time. Things will run late, and that’s normal. What matters is having breathing room so one delay doesn’t derail your entire day. This is where a planner, or a professional coordinator, is worth their weight in gold. Timing is an art for us. We’ve done this so many times, worked in such a wide variety of venues - this is what we do. Leave the timeline to us. 

#08: Forgetting What the Day is Actually About 

Sometimes stress can creep in, opinions seep into your thoughts, and perfectionism can overshadow the reason you’re getting married in the first place. When things begin to feel overwhelming, come back to the core question: “Will this matter in five years?”

It’s okay to face it - some things will just go wrong. No wedding is flawless. But, the most joyful weddings we’ve planned weren’t the most expensive or elaborate, they were the ones where the couple trusted their team and fostered the excitement to just get married. 

Wedding planning doesn’t have to be miserable. With clear priorities, honest communication, and a little flexibility, it can actually be meaningful and even fun.

Avoid these common pitfalls, ask for help when you need it, and remember: the goal isn’t a perfect wedding. It’s a joyful start to a marriage.

And trust us, your future selves will thank you.

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 20 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.