Why a First Look (with Your Partner or Parents!) Might Be Right for You

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Why a First Look (with Your Partner or Parents!) Might Be Right for You

Weddings are full of unforgettable moments, walking down the aisle, saying "I do," and the first dance. But one that’s become increasingly popular (and emotional) is the first look. While some couples still hold to the tradition of seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony, many are embracing the magic of a planned, private reveal before the vows.

But did you know that first looks aren’t just for you and your partner? They can also be shared with parents, grandparents, or even your bridal party. Whether you're a traditionalist or looking for an intimate moment before the celebration begins, here's why a first look might be the perfect choice for your big day.

Let’s start with the basics. What is a first look? A first look is a private (or semi-private) moment scheduled before the ceremony, where the couple sees each other for the first time in their wedding attire. Typically captured by a photographer or videographer, it’s a chance to connect, take in the moment, and calm the pre-ceremony jitters.

While traditionally done with your partner, first looks can also involve a parent, sibling, or anyone close to your heart. The goal? To slow down and share an emotional, meaningful experience in the midst of a very fast-paced day.

There are several reasons why to consider a first look with your partner. These are our top: 

#01: Calm the Nerves 

Weddings can feel like a whirlwind of activity — hair, makeup, dresses, suits, timelines, emotions. A first look allows you to pause and breathe. Seeing your partner before the ceremony can ease anxiety and bring a sense of calm that carries you through the rest of the day.

#02: A Truly Private Moment

The ceremony is beautiful, but it’s public. A first look gives you a chance to react freely — to cry, laugh, hug, kiss, talk — without hundreds of eyes watching. It’s a quiet, intimate experience shared just between the two of you.

#03: More Time Together 

Let’s be honest, wedding days fly by. Doing a first look adds meaningful minutes (or hours) to the time you get to spend together on your wedding day. And isn’t that what it’s all about?

#04: Better Photo Opportunities 

A first look opens the door to taking more photos earlier in the day. That means bridal party portraits, couple shots, and even some family pictures can be done before the ceremony — giving you more time to enjoy the cocktail hour and reception with your guests.

#05: Authentic Emotions 

Some worry that a first look will “take away” from the emotional moment of walking down the aisle. In reality, it often enhances it. Couples who’ve shared a first look say they felt more present and grounded during the ceremony because their nerves were already calmed and their connection reaffirmed.

Weddings are full of big emotions, not just for the couple, but for their families too. For many parents, seeing their child dressed for their wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime moment. A first look with a parent (or grandparent) creates a beautiful opportunity to honor that relationship. First looks can be an emotional keepsake. On a personal level, I did a first look with my father after I was dressed. That was one of my favorite moments and I am so glad that it happened and we were able to capture it on film. Capturing the exact moment your mom sees you in your gown, or your dad holds back tears seeing you in a tux, creates some of the most heartfelt photos of the day. These images are timeless and full of genuine love. It is also an opportunity to say thank you to your parents. If your parents have played a significant role in your life or your wedding planning, a first look is a beautiful way to thank them. It shows you value their role in your journey and want them to be a special part of your milestone.

Don’t stop with your partner or parents! First looks with bridesmaids, groomsmen, or siblings are becoming increasingly popular, and for good reason!

Are you on the fence about breaking tradition? It’s totally okay to feel conflicted. The idea of seeing each other for the first time walking down the aisle is steeped in tradition and drama — and for some couples, it’s the moment they’ve dreamed about for years.

If you love the idea of keeping that surprise for the ceremony, you can still have private moments that don’t involve a full reveal. You can consider a first touch, where you are behind a door or curtain, where you can hold hands and pray or share private vows. You can write letters and exchange with each other as well. These are simple, one-to-one connections that you can create without altering the ceremony timeline. 

A first look, whether with your partner, parents, or bridal party  is about more than just the photos. It’s about creating space in your wedding day for connection, reflection, and real emotion. It allows you to honor the relationships that have shaped your life and to breathe in the beauty of the moment before the day picks up speed. If you're looking for a way to make your wedding day feel even more personal and unforgettable, a first look might just be the perfect way to start the celebration.

Remember, it’s your day. You can blend tradition and modernity in whatever way feels right for you.

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

How to Make the Most of Your Private Wedding Day Moments

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How to Make the Most of Your Private Wedding Day Moments

Your wedding day will be one of the most joyful, emotional, and fast-paced days of your life. With so many moving pieces — from getting ready and taking photos to the ceremony, reception, and everything in between — it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement and forget to pause. That’s why intentionally creating private moments throughout the day is not only important — it’s essential.

These moments give you the chance to breathe, connect, and be fully present with your partner, allowing you to slow down and soak it all in. Here's how to make the most of your private wedding day moments and turn them into some of the most memorable parts of your celebration.

#01: Start the Day with a Centering Ritual 

Before the whirlwind begins, give yourself a moment of calm. Whether it’s meditating, journaling, sipping coffee alone, or simply listening to your favorite music while getting ready, this time sets the tone for your day. It’s a chance to ground yourself emotionally and mentally before stepping into the spotlight. 

#02: Plan a First Look or First Touch 

A first look is one of the most meaningful ways to share a quiet moment with your partner before the ceremony. It allows you to connect, ease nerves, and express your emotions in an intimate setting without all eyes on you. It also makes for beautiful, authentic photos.

If you prefer to wait until the ceremony to see each other, consider a “first touch” instead,  stand on either side of a door or wall, hold hands, and exchange a few words or a letter without peeking. You can even use this idea to exchange a small gift of private vows. 

#03: Write and Exchange Love Letters

Taking the time to write heartfelt letters to each other can be incredibly grounding and emotional. Exchange them while getting ready or during a private moment before the ceremony. Reading your partner’s words, their hopes, promises, and love - brings a sense of intimacy and presence that no schedule can replicate.

Some couples choose to read their letters out loud to each other; others prefer to keep it private. Either way, this quiet exchange can be one of the day’s most treasured memories.

#04: Steal Time after the Ceremony 

One of the best-kept secrets to creating a memorable wedding day? Schedule 10–15 minutes alone with your partner immediately after the ceremony. No guests, no photographers, no planners — just the two of you basking in the just-married glow.

This is often the first moment you get to truly exhale and take in the significance of what just happened. It’s raw, emotional, and grounding — a space to say “we did it” and revel in the joy before diving into the reception. We highly suggest you ask your planner or coordinator to build this time into your general wedding day timeline and ensure you have privacy. 

#05: Enjoy a Private Dinner or Toast 

Receptions can be busy and social, with guests vying for your attention. To carve out a moment just for you two, consider enjoying a private dinner or toast in a separate room before joining the party. This short break lets you fuel up, connect, and savor your first meal as newlyweds. It also gives you a chance to talk, laugh, and check in with each other without interruptions. We love the idea of sneaking away during dinner to snag some intimate photos with golden hour light. 

#06: Take a Nighttime Stroll Together 

As the evening winds down, take a few minutes to step outside and walk hand-in-hand under the stars or twinkling venue lights. This final moment of stillness offers a sense of closure, peace, and perspective before the night ends. It’s also the perfect time to reflect on the day, exchange impressions, and quietly soak in everything you’ve experienced. You can also end the night with a private last dance before guests exit or during the venue breakdown. Many couples say this was one of their favorite moments.

#07: Honor Loved Ones in a Private Way

If you’re remembering a lost loved one on your wedding day, create a personal, private ritual. Light a candle together, visit a memory table, or quietly say a few words or prayers before the ceremony. This gives you a chance to honor them intimately and emotionally, away from the crowd, and acknowledge the impact they’ve had on your journey.

#08: Trust your Team and Let Go

One of the biggest challenges in making space for private moments is feeling like you need to be “on” all day. The truth is, you don’t. Trust your planner, vendors, and bridal party to handle the logistics while you stay present in your experience. Having a great team means you can let go of micromanaging and instead focus on soaking in every look, touch, word, and feeling.

#09: Make Time to Connect

Yes, even a short kiss, laugh, or shared look across the room can be a moment. It’s easy to get separated during the reception as you mingle with guests, but check in with each other regularly. Hold hands, sneak kisses, and don’t be afraid to pause the party to connect. These small, unscripted touches remind you that this day is, above all else, about the two of you.

#10: Capture the Quiet Moments 

Talk to your photographer or videographer about your desire to document the quiet, emotional parts of the day — the unscripted hugs, the teary-eyed smiles, the glances when no one else is watching. You’ll be grateful to have these subtle moments captured alongside the big ones. They add depth and authenticity to your wedding story.

Your wedding day is a celebration of love — not just the public, festive parts, but the deeply personal, tender ones too. Making the most of your private moments doesn’t require a lot of time, but it does require intention. These pauses, these quiet spaces in between the chaos, will become the memories that you hold onto the longest.

So while the flowers, the food, and the dancing are important, make room for the soft, silent beats in between. Those are the moments that truly last a lifetime.

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

20 Years of Elegant Affairs: A Love Story of Weddings, Family, and Big Dreams

From Newspaper Deadlines to Wedding Day Timelines

Twenty years ago, I traded my press pass for a bridal emergency kit.

At the time, I had just left my job as a newspaper reporter to stay home with my then 6-month-old son—who, somehow, is now a junior in college. (Don’t ask me how that happened. Time has a way of sneaking past us in the most beautiful way.)

What started as a fun summer weekend job—helping a friend with weddings and events—turned into something bigger than I ever could’ve dreamed. That “just for fun” gig became the foundation for what is now Elegant Affairs, and 20 years later, I’m still in awe of the journey.

A Business Built on Love, Chaos, and Champagne-Fueled Checklists

This business grew one love story at a time. Every couple, every vendor, every perfectly imperfect wedding day added to the heart of what we do. From rustic barns to luxe ballrooms, we’ve planned weddings in just about every kind of venue, each one unique and beautiful in its own way.

Here’s a quick look at what we’ve built together:

• 376 weddings and events
• Hundreds of incredible vendor partnerships
• Thousands of timelines, to-do lists, happy tears, and perfectly fluffed veils
• And a lifetime’s worth of stories, memories, and joyful moments

We’ve learned to pivot, to adapt, to laugh when the flower girl decides to nap mid-aisle, and to breathe deeply when the weather doesn’t follow the plan. And through it all, we’ve loved every minute.

Thank You to the People Behind the Magic

This milestone isn’t just about Elegant Affairs. It’s about the people who helped build it.

To my family: You’ve been there from day one. You’ve cheered me on through 2 a.m. breakdowns, endless event weekends, and deadlines that rivaled my old newsroom days. Oh, and I could never forget a Global Pandemic. You’ve helped load cars, organize rentals, and you’ve given me the space to dream big. I couldn’t have done this without you.

To every team member who’s worked for Elegant Affairs over the years: You’ve shown up with energy, grace, and the kind of hustle that makes weddings run smoothly. You’ve been the calm in the chaos, the voice of reason when things got hectic, and the heart behind the scenes. Thank you for showing up with everything you had.

To our amazing vendor partners: You are the reason wedding days come to life. Your talent, reliability, and dedication make what we do possible. You’ve been with us in the rain, the heat, the wind, and the occasional power outage. We’ve seen it all together, and I’m so grateful for every floral designer, photographer, caterer, DJ, rental rep, and creative pro we’ve worked alongside.

To our 376 clients: Thank you for trusting us with your most important days. Thank you for letting us into your families and your lives. Thank you for the kind words, the glowing reviews, the hugs, and the referrals. We’ve planned weddings, anniversaries, showers, and events for some of you, and each one has meant something to us. Your joy is the reason we do what we do.

The Social Attendant: Our Sister Story

In addition to Elegant Affairs, I had another dream growing. Over the years, I found myself drawn to helping other wedding professionals. I was mentoring new planners, helping vendors create workflows, and sharing social media and client tips without even thinking about it.

Eventually, that quiet little idea evolved into The Social Attendant, our sister brand designed to support wedding creatives.

Through TSA, I get to work with planners, florists, photographers, and boutique owners. We talk about strategy, content creation, automation, and how to grow a business without losing your mind. The goal is simple. Help wedding pros build businesses that feel good and actually work for them.

So yes, the girl who once left journalism to plan a few weddings on the side now runs two companies. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

What I’ve Learned After 20 Years in the Wedding Industry

Let’s just say the lessons have been endless. But here are a few that stand out:

1. No wedding ever goes exactly as planned, and that’s okay.
Rainstorms, wardrobe malfunctions, and missing flower girls are part of the job. What matters is how we respond.

2. The best weddings are personal.
Your wedding should feel like you, not a Pinterest replica. Skip what doesn’t feel right and lean into what does.

3. The guest list affects everything.
From your budget to your layout, the size of your wedding plays a big role. Be intentional about who gets a seat.

4. Your vendor team matters more than you think.
Working with professionals who care makes all the difference. They bring calm, expertise, and a level of service that elevates your experience.

5. It's the quiet moments you remember most.
A first look. A parent’s reaction. A last dance. Those are the memories that stay with you.

What’s Next for Elegant Affairs?

We’re still planning full-service weddings in the Pacific Northwest. We’re still creating timelines, calming nerves, and bringing dream days to life. And now, we’re also offering wedding day content creation, for couples who want a full gallery of behind-the-scenes magic captured on their iPhones within 24 hours.

We’re continuing to grow The Social Attendant. We’re coaching new wedding pros, creating content bundles, and helping others find their voice in a busy industry.

Most of all, we’re focused on keeping things personal, beautiful, and rooted in what matters most. Love, connection, and celebration.

To Everyone Who’s Been Part of Our Story

Thank you. Thank you for believing in this business. Thank you for being part of our journey. Thank you for showing up for us, for cheering us on, and for trusting us with your most treasured memories.

We’ve been lucky enough to celebrate with hundreds of clients. And now, we get to celebrate this milestone with you.

Here’s to the past 20 years. And here’s to whatever’s next.

With a full heart,
Lori

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.