Are you new to the wedding planning journey? If yes – this next blog post is for you. You’ve entered the realm of wedding planning, you’re newly engaged, and ready to dive into planning. But, as you begin to plan, you notice that you may be doing more of the heavy lifting. One of the biggest questions we get asked is how to get your partner excited and ready to dive into planning. Now, we don’t mean just answering “yes” and “no” questions – folks want to know how to encourage their partners to be active participants in the planning process. We’ve done our research and even asked a partner or two… here’s what it takes to get your partner ready and eager to DIVE headfirst into your wedding planning ERA.

#01: Get Moving! 

We asked a former Elegant Affairs Groom, what did it take for you to want to get involved in the wedding planning process. His first response was to physically get out and explore wedding vendors and venues. Sometimes, all your partner needs to envision things in real life, rather than just on the internet. Perhaps, scrolling through websites or viewing your Pinterest board isn’t the way to snag ‘em. Work together to set up venue walk-throughs and vendor appointments at a time that works best for both of you. Physically get out to the location and experience the sights and touches together. You’ll not only create memories, but you’ll be able to choose wedding details together while working hands-on. This groom of ours said that “going out to the venues helped me envision what my fiance was imagining. It helped me get excited for our wedding day and want to become invested in the wedding process.” 

#02: Start with some Food

Get your partner involved in all the fun aspects of planning. This includes encouraging your partner to venture to your tasting sessions. Set up various tastings with your top three caterers and don’t forget about the desserts! Be sure to select a few different dessert options and try them out. You can even make a whole day date adventure out of tasting events! Have fun with it and make some memories. Our groom’s advice is “Don’t let them go on an empty stomach – everything tastes better on an empty stomach.” 

#03: Keep it 50/50

Through the process, it is easy to become overwhelmed with all the details. Some couples may get lost in the process and others may focus too much on the details. Yes, you have your best friends to lean on through the wedding process, but you want to ensure you’re leaning on your partner for each decision made. The decision process for selecting caterers, venues, and vendors should be an equal, 50/50, team decision. You don’t want your partner to feel like the wedding doesn’t reflect them. If you make decisions as a team, your partner is more than apt to become involved and feel involved. At the end of the day, this wedding is a reflection and celebration of you both, as a united front. Creating healthy boundaries and working as an equal team will foster their willingness and excitement to become involved. 

#04: Don’t be Afraid to Delegate

“Sometimes, guys just don’t know where to start. I think when I was told, ‘If you can accomplish xyz, that would be helpful.” Let’s face it, most of us have our Pinterest boards from when we were young. We’ve dreamt of our weddings and our weddings have evolved. So, when we see our partner down on one knee, we kinda already know what direction we want to head. Now, our partners, on the other hand, may not have Pinterest boards or know where to start. Our groom said it was helpful to have a delegation of tasks. Whether it’s managing the budget, or calling the florist, giving your partner a list of tasks that can be accomplished and supporting the team, is beneficial not only for the wedding planning process, but works to get them active in the planning role. Now, it’s important to find a happy medium with delegation, because there is a fine line between barking orders and asking for support. Find that happy spot and work together to determine what tasks your partner feels comfortable and knowledgeable about completing. 

Don’t be afraid to ask for help, especially from your partner, during the wedding planning process. Sometimes your partner may be ready and eager to dive in, others may need a gentle nudge. Don’t be afraid to delegate and decide what tasks will be accomplished and by whom. Start with something fun like food tasting and get your partner out and about with you to explore. Be sure to take the wedding hunt off the internet and try to travel to vendors in person. As always, talk with your partner, lean on your partner, and start this journey together. The wedding planning process is daunting at times but is manageable with a supportive partner. Enjoy the time, make lasting memories, and have fun with the process, because celebrating with your loved ones on your big day will be all worth it! Happy planning!

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.