Normally I don’t get too personal here on our blog but today I felt that it was the time to change it up as I wanted to share with you my meaning of Christmas.

Growing up I knew what Christmas was all about and the reason why we celebrated. I attended Sunday School at my family parish and even served as a Shepard in the Nativity Story (yes I am still bitter I was the only girl who was a Shepard and I was desperate to play Mary but I was stuck wearing a boy’s robe).

But it wasn’t until I was a mother when I truly understand this day.

In 1991, I was 12 years old and we had finished opening presents and getting ready to celebrate with my dad’s side of the family when the phone rang.  I clearly remember answering and it was my aunt whom I could tell was crying. The next thing I heard was my mom scream and I knew something was wrong. It was my cousin Amy who was 7 and had passed away.

Amy was born with down syndrome and dealt with various health issues. Sadly she passed away after suffering a seizure. To understand death at 12 and the death of someone so young was so hard but truly not until I became a mother and how much you could truly love a being more than anything. It took me a very long time to come to grips of the loss of Amy and for a long time I was so angry at God for taking her away from us and on Christmas. It wasn’t fair and still not fair to this day 27 years later. Amy had so much life to give and we all loved this little blonde hair blue-eyed ballerina.

It was at this point Christmas was more than just a story and presents, it was about the love of family and friends and we need to take the time to celebrate that. Truly we should celebrate our relationships more than just on Holidays.

When I had our boys I knew they were everything to me and I remind myself to hug them everyday and tell them I love them. As they grow older and don’t want to hug me as long as I want to I treasure these moments because before I know it they will have their own families.

I reflect on this day now as not a sad one but a happy one knowing I will see Amy again and get to introduce her to my boys and that makes me smile.

I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New year!

Lori