Exploring Traditional Wedding Etiquette

What wedding etiquette trends did you follow for your wedding day? Or what traditional etiquette rules do you plan on following? Let’s face it, it’s 2024. Throughout our time in the industry, we’ve seen wedding trends and etiquette come and go. Many couples are choosing to create unique, individualized experiences that stray away from what we think is typical or traditional. Weddings that we used to attend as children sure look a lot different than weddings that we flock to now. But, there are still many couples that opt for more of a traditional affair with these etiquettes in place. There are some aspects to weddings that many consider classic or respectful to one's culture, traditions, and family history. At the end of the day, no matter what route you choose to follow, every wedding is fit to the needs of the couple, which is really what matters. So, let’s explore some of the classic traditional wedding etiquette, but remember — just because it’s traditional etiquette doesn’t mean you have to fit the mold. 

#01: Be on Time 

Arriving on time for the ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception is vital. Now, not just for your guests, but for the wedding party and YOU. Everyone understands that hiccups and the occasional mishaps happen prior to walking down the aisle. But you want to stay on your timeline and ensure that you are not arriving late. Of course, your guests don’t mind waiting a few minutes, but when they are waiting in the hot sun for over a half hour for you to make your appearance, there are going to be some unhappy campers. Timing also impacts your vendors. Vendors work diligently to create your perfect day, therefore timeliness is important and a sign of respect. You want to respect your vendors’ time as well. So, work on sticking to your timeline (to the best of your ability) because, ultimately the timeline affects everyone. 

#02: Let your Guests be Guests

Weddings are a celebration of your love with your family and friends. It is a time for your guests to enjoy the experience with you – that means that you and your partner are the hosts of your guests. It is your role to not only host the wedding but to essentially take “care” of your guests. This includes ensuring accommodations for all guests are met throughout the night, including food AND drinks. Traditionally cash bars are a no-no. You don’t want your guests to have to pay for anything the night of your event. Traditionally it is frowned upon for your guests to pay for their own beverages. If you are able to budget for simple drinks, such as beer and wine, with easy non-alcoholic beverages, go that route. You don’t need to supply the whole liquor store to be a good guest. Plus, limiting your wedding alcohol selection means that guests won’t get too rowdy throughout your celebration. So, if you can – create the best experience – and free that is – for your guests to participate in. Let them enjoy and celebrate you, you are the hosts of your wedding day! 

#03: Keep Things Moving 

Okay, think about your worst wedding experience. Most of my worst wedding experiences tie into our #01 etiquette rule, about not having people wait, but this also means don’t wait for guests to be fed and for the party to start. Personally, I’ve been to a few weddings where there is a big gap of time between the ceremony and cocktail hour, or even the cocktail hour and the reception. If you are choosing to use the same venue for each aspect of your wedding, don’t make your guests wait and keep things moving. You definitely don’t want to keep your guests waiting, foodless, or for hours on end while you and your partner take your newlywed photos. As you plan your timeline, remember to be swift and minimize the time between each function for the wedding day. You don’t want your guests to be bored, or to be hangry. Avoid any long breaks that you can avoid. 

#04: Don’t Get Too Creative with Seating Charts

Oh– the dreaded seating charts. When it comes down to making seating charts you always want to think carefully about how you are seating your guests. But there are a few rules of thumb for etiquette when planning your seating chart. First, don’t isolate your guests. This includes not creating tables of single-only guests, or putting all the people who don’t know each other together. When planning your seating chart, you want to think about how you can group your guests for positive conversations and friendships to spark. Think about similar interests, who may work together, or who may have similar hobbies or likes. Whatever you do, don’t isolate anyone, and don’t make a whole table feel like wedding outcasts. 

#05: Don’t Forget to Say Thank You! 

Be gracious. Be absolutely gracious and say thank you to your guests. Your guests have traveled far and wide to be a part of your wedding day and many have included gifts, if you opted for that option. At some point in the evening, you need to make a point to thank each individual person, whether through a formal receiving line, visiting each table to give hugs and say thank you, or a thank you speech during your toasts. Showing gratitude is important, especially as the host. And of course, remember to send out your thank you cards in a timely manner. There are many rules of thumb regarding thank you cards, some say it’s best to send a thank you card within 6 weeks of your wedding day. Others may say, to send the thank you card before you use the item. But – ALWAYS send a thank you card. Don’t let the gifts and cards pile up and be forgotten. Create a spreadsheet and a running record of who sent what. Check it off the list when you’ve mailed the card. But tradition says, to mind your manners and be a gracious host - which of course includes those thank yous. 

Whether you’re opting for a traditional affair or a wedding with unique touches, you can choose what wedding etiquette you want to include on your wedding day. At the end of the day what is considered traditional wedding etiquette is just a fancy way of saying don’t forget your manners on your big day. Be gracious to your guests, don’t forget to say thank you, be thoughtful when planning the overall experience including time frames, seating arrangements, and letting your guests truly enjoy your event. Whether you include these traditional planning elements is up to you, but whatever you choose, keep your wedding party, guests, and yourselves in mind.

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

Deck the Halls with….Bouquets!

What do you envision for floral design on your wedding day? We’ve seen so many different floral arrangements and bouquets in the last decade. We’ve also made so numerous bouquets for our brides throughout the years that all have their one unique flair. Trends have come and gone through the years and we’ve seen it all. From cascading lilies to dainty wildflower bouquets – there are so many unique options that your bouquet can truly be just right for you. One of the most unique times for bridal bouquets is winter. Color palettes are truly one of a kind for winter, in the fact that you can use all colors and explore varying shades of vibrance. Winter bouquets can feature seasonal greens or even dried flowers! Let’s break down some of our favorite winter bouquets from our winter wedding season last year. 





All the Greens

We’re starting off with a bang, with winter bouquets is one of our favorites. This bouquet features greenery and lots of it! There are TONS of different greenery choices to feature in your bouquets. Some of our favorite choices are: lemon leaf, ruckus, lambs ear, dusty miller, seeded eucalyptus, boxwood, bay leaf, willow eucalyptus, and silver dollar eucalyptus. There are a few benefits to adding fresh greens to your bridal bouquet. First, greenery can often spare you a few bucks in your budget. Greenery can go a long way, because they are often purchased by the bunch, rather than the stem. Also, greenery is a great option for brides that want their bouquet to have more of an organic look. It is perfect for our boho or rustic brides. Yes, in winter, you don't need to worry about the heat – but a major perk is that they last. You don’t have to worry about your bouquet wilting throughout the day - your bouquet will stay fresh and last well after your wedding day! 


It’s all about Balance, Baby

A bride and her bridal bouqet.

You can still be a big fan of the greenery, but tie in subtle touches of your wedding theme and color palette. In the past, bouquets were often filled with flowers – and we mean flowers on flowers – the more the better right? Well, times have evolved to offer brides many different unique looks with a healthy blend of florals and greenery. We’re seen less of a touch of greenery, and more greenery all around. But, we love seeing a balance between greenery and florals. It creates a modern and romantic touch and photograph beautifully. Combining the two creates a beautiful blend to any bouquet. As you choose the flowers, stay true to what your wedding colors are. This is a great time to tie in what guests will see at the reception, or what attire your wedding party will be wearing. After you choose your flowers, work with your florist and pick greenery that will complement and add dimension to your bouquet. We love that this bouquet features the bride and groom’s wedding color scheme and creates a romantic look. 

Contrasting Florals

Winter provides the perfect background for color. Often, when people think of a winter wedding they automatically jump to the traditional view of winter – Christmas. To be honest, yes, we have the occasional Christmas theme wedding, primarily the color choices, but most of our winter weddings feature bold color choices that really pop. Winter is the perfect time to be a little daring and choose vibrant color choices like burgundy, pink, hot pink, magenta, red, black, and orange. Adding flowers such as white anemones is the perfect nod to winter. Pairing a delicate flower with vibrant roses or ranunculus really creates a unique wintery look. Don’t be afraid to ask your florist, or create your own bouquet with colors from opposite ends of the color wheel. We promise you, your photos will turn out stellar and your guests will be in awe of your bridal bouquet. 


Traditional with a Twist

There is nothing wrong with sticking with a traditional bouquet. And by traditional, we mean filled with florals. Now, there are ways to add a modern twist, such as showing the flower stems, and choosing modern flowers. This bouquet was featured at one of our winter weddings last season. We love this bouquet because it is more towards the traditional wedding bouquet, but it is traditional with a twist. First, let’s talk about the flower choices. Her bouquet was filled with garden roses, orchids, white anemones, and more. The bride and florist ventured out and chose flowers that provided contrast, dimension, and truly created a visual masterpiece. We love how this bouquet also featured a small ombre look, which really draws the eye in. 


Put a Ring on it

We’ve circled back, literally, to one of our favorite design looks, bouquets but build on a hoop or ring. We featured this look back at one of the Seattle Wedding Show Expos and we even DIY’d it ourselves. We love this bouquet because it is out of the box, but elegant. It creates an eye-catching moment as your wedding party walks down the aisle. Plus, these bouquets can be repurposed in the reception! They can create a backdrop for a sweetheart table, surround candles on tables, or more. And who doesn’t love saving on the wedding budget and using items from the ceremony?!


At the end of the day, whatever style of bouquet you choose, stay true to what your vision is and create a timeless look. Bouquets are one of the focal points at the ceremony, so take some time to find inspiration before consulting with your florist or choosing to DIY your bouquets. As always, research any decisions you make and find flowers that stay true to the season. Don’t be afraid to create a lush bouquet of greens, or be a little daring in your traditional bouquet. Find a good balance when building your dream bouquet and remember - it’s okay to think outside of the box and have a little fun with it. 

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

Light up your Wedding Day

Winter is filled with gorgeous lights. Lights line the streets, rooftops, and truly makes the Christmas season bright. Selecting lights is not only an important process when decorating your home for the holidays, but it plays an important role in your wedding. Wedding lighting serves a dual purpose. Not only is it functional – we mean lights are necessary to see – but they create a stylish ambience to your wedding day. Choosing the correct lighting is important, because it sets the mood for your ceremony and reception as well as highlighting all of the individual decor touches you have selected. Today, we’re going to explore the different aspects of lighting. You may not know where to begin or what direction to go in. Let us help you find your way to the light. 

01#: All about Lights 

There are so many different ways to add lights to your wedding day. There are definitely different terms and aspects to selecting the right light for each portion of your day. So, let’s talk about some terminology. 

  • LED Lights: LED lights are becoming more popular. This is a cost effective type of light that will last the whole night. A lot of the lights we see now are LED lights, including fairy lights and even some traditional bulb lights. They offer a brighter light than traditional warm bulbs. 

  • Pendant: A pendant light can come in all different types. These are typically hung from the ceiling and can be used to provide different backdrops. 

  • Spotlight: A spotlight can often be used to highlight one particular moment, such as your first dance, or ceremony space. 

  • Uplighting: Uplighting is one of the more traditional forms of adding lighting to your wedding. Many couples choose to feature uplighting at their reception to add dimension. These are lights that point up and can be shone in a variety of colors. Often, our couples choose uplighting that features colors from their color scheme. 

  • Gobo Lighting: This lighting is a custom lighting that can feature a design or detail. We’ve had couples in the past use this lighting to display their married monogram, or a detail that was featured throughout their theme, or wedding invites. 

  • String Lights: String lights are just as it sounds. A string of lights that can often be LED lights, fairy lights etc, italian light bulbs, bistro lighting etc. These are popular in outdoor weddings or rustic venue spaces. 

  • Candle Light: This is one of the most popular forms of lighting that can be cost effective. Candles can be used in hurricane vases, as a taper, or featured in a centerpiece. We’ve used candles to line the aisles of a ceremony space or create a warm and inviting table centerpiece.


02#: Lights & Budgeting 

There are definitely more affordable lighting options compared to others. Some of the more expensive lighting techniques are uplighting, gobo lighting, and pendants. Candles can be costly, depending on where you purchase them from. If you chose to use lighting in your budget as the main form of decor, or just to highlight portions of your night, be sure to create a budget just for lighting. Talk to your vendors and see who can provide lighting. Sometimes, your DJ or entertainment will provide uplighting or spotlights in particular packages. Your wedding planner or coordinator will be able to point you in the right direction of how and who to tackle lighting with. As you plan this portion of your budget, be sure to interview a few vendors, ask for quotes, and be sure to ask if delivery and set-up is included. 

03#: The Bottom Line 

If you choose to light up your ceremony or reception, there are a few questions that need to guide your decision making process. Not only will you need to think about these questions with your partner, but you will need to ask your venue and/or vendors, too. 

Does your wedding venue (ceremony and reception) allow lighting? 

If adding lighting is a must have for your wedding ceremony and reception, before you sign on the dotted line, you need to have a discussion with the venue. Many venues have rules and regulations regarding lighting. The most common rule you will see is no open flame. You’ll need to ask if enclosed flame will work (such as using a vase or glass) or if only flameless candles are allowed. 

What will lighting look like at specific times of day? 

Lighting is specific. Lights can look different at different times of day. As you select what lighting you want to use, you need to think how it will look in your particular venue at the time of your event. For example, you may not want to use candles if you are planning a morning wedding. Or if you plan on using candles only for light, you want to ensure that it will provide enough light for your guests at your reception. We highly recommend visiting your venue at the planned time of your wedding to ensure the lighting you selected is sufficient. 

Where are the outlets? 

Be sure to scout out all of your outlets or design a plan - especially if you’re hosting an outdoor wedding. The last thing you want to be doing on the day of your wedding, is finding all of the outlets to run your lights or learning that the power needed cannot be accommodated by the venue. You may even need to bring your vendor that is providing the light to complete a walk through at the venue. This will allow these individuals to create a plan to execute your vision. 


There are so many different options for lighting. Whether you want to add a little lighting to your ceremony or backdrop for the reception, it is a fun way to add color and warmth to your space. Don’t be afraid to light up a room, sky, or venue with a variety of lighting options. And the best part about lighting, is it is for every type of event. As you plan the lighting for your wedding, be sure to run through your timeline of events and decide what kind of lighting and when you will need it. Create a checklist to help ensure that each part of the day and wedding has the lighting that you need. So, start searching for inspiration and add some light to your wedding day! It is the perfect way to really make your wedding shine. 

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.