Let’s face it – things happen. Life happens and some of these things are out of your control. And life doesn’t take a break, even for your wedding day. There are always going to be bumps along the wedding planning road, and even on your big day. But, there are ways you can recover and avoid these regrets entirely. Ensuring that you’ve planned every detail and double checked your timeline of events will help you avoid any major bumps, but there are still some hiccups that may happen. So, we’re talking about the biggest wedding regrets and what you can do to avoid them.
Don’t Forget what is Truly Important
We’ve all seen or heard of that show - Brideszilla. Sometimes, brides – even grooms can get a little out of control. Sometimes venting can turn into complaining and just may spiral out of control. Your wedding party is there to support you and you must remember that they are some of the most important people to you and your fiance. It is okay to vent, but don’t let your wedding party or loved ones become your wedding complaint box and work to remember what is truly important. Ask yourself your “why” and remember at the end of your wedding day, all that matters is that you are married and can embark on this new journey together as one.
Don’t Forget about the Vendors
Your vendors are at the heart of your wedding. They are the individuals that make your wedding day run smoothly. Yes, we may know some cool people that have talents, but at the end of the day they are not wedding professionals (unless they seriously work in the industry..) No matter what your budget is, you can find wedding vendors that can fit your needs and budget. You may have to get creative or rethink your experience, but they are the ones that drive your wedding day.
Keep it Simple
It is ONE day. There are only 24 hours in one day and you want to ensure that things aren’t getting complicated or planned out to the minute. Yes, you’ll want a general timeline for the day complete with all the details, but you don’t want to overcomplicate things. Be realistic about what you can achieve during the wedding day, don’t make huge expectations for yourself or your wedding party.
It’s Okay to set Boundaries
Boundaries are hard, let alone setting boundaries with family. But, at the end of the day, this is the union between two people and two people alone. You need to set boundaries for advice and opinions throughout the wedding planning process. You don’t have to have all of your wedding parties and future mothers-in-law rate your wedding dresses from one to ten. You make the rules. You decide who attends vendor meetings with you; you decide you get to go to your cake or caterer tasting; you get to pick your wedding dress. If you’d prefer to do it alone, or just with your finances, then do it! Set the boundaries that work for you and keep your mind sound.
Remember your Wedding License
We cannot stress this enough – you are not legally married until you sign and send your wedding license off. We’ve heard so many stories and witnessed couples who have forgotten to go to the courthouse in time or even forgot to mail their wedding license to the courthouse. Set out to get your wedding license a few days before, it’s best to call your local courthouse to learn about the timeline to visit. Sign your marriage license after your ceremony and be sure it gets mailed! Your officiant said they will mail it? Be sure to follow up the next week and ensure that it was sent. However, you chose to send it off – make sure it hits the post. One of the biggest regrets we’ve heard is learning that a couple found out they were not legally married for YEARS because the certificate never made it to the courthouse.
Say Yes to Compromise
Compromise is a pillar of a healthy and happy marriage. This also includes compromise during the wedding planning process. There are two individuals involved in a marriage, therefore there are two individuals that should be at the forefront of planning. Be sure to include your partner in any and all decisions and compromise to make the day an affair that reflects both of you. There are so many ways to incorporate each others’ tastes and we can even help elevate your fiance’s favorite football team. But, your wedding day is a celebration of your love and union, so compromise, be kind to each other and work as a team to plan your wedding day.
Don’t Book without a Budget
Repeat after me – I will not book a vendor or plan any details without setting a budget first. The BIGGEST mistake we’ve seen clients make is saying no to the budget or forgetting to make a budget all together. Your budget drives your wedding planning. Without it, not decisions should be made. Your budget needs to be set first as your begin the process. No decision should be made without consulting your budget and ensuring that you are able to make payments happen and select all of the other details. Your budget is your best friend and we don’t want to see any of our clients in debt, or stretched too thin, due to their lack of budgeting.
We could go on for days about various regrets and how to avoid them - but we’d need a podcast for that. Although it may sound scary, regrets and unexpected things do occur. Not often, but they happen and we never want to see our couples experience these regrets throughout the planning process. As you begin planning, start with your budget first, set healthy and manageable boundaries with your loved ones, keep things simple and don’t overcomplicate the planning process, be real about your expectations and don’t forget to RELAX.
Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.
