Wedding toasts can either be one of the most anticipated moments of a wedding celebration, or one of the most dreaded portions. Whether you're the best man, maid of honor, or a guest asked to raise a glass, delivering a meaningful and heartfelt toast is an incredible way to honor the couple. But, let's face it—public speaking can be intimidating, and the pressure to say the "right" words can feel overwhelming. Don't worry! With a little preparation and some tips, you’ll be able to stand up with confidence and deliver a toast that will be remembered for years to come. So let’s dive into how to give the perfect wedding toast and settle your anxiety.
#01: Know Your Audience and Keep It Appropriate
A wedding toast isn’t just about the couple; it’s also about the guests and the atmosphere of the event. While you want your toast to be personal, keep in mind that you’re speaking in front of a diverse crowd. This means avoiding any inside jokes that might leave people confused or uncomfortable. It’s also a good idea to stay clear of overly personal stories that could embarrass the couple or just be about you and the bride or groom. Stick to light-hearted humor, avoid controversial topics that could sour the mood, and focus on the couple’s relationship.
#02: Keep It Short and Sweet
While you might have plenty of stories and memories you'd love to share, remember that a wedding toast isn’t the place for a lengthy speech. If we’re being honest, we’ve sat through our fair share of wedding toasts, some that went upwards of 30 minutes. We’ve learned from this and our couples have too. We recommend that you keep your toast between 2-3 minutes. The couple will appreciate a concise toast that gets to the point while still feeling heartfelt. Plus, guests are likely looking forward to the next part of the celebration, whether that’s dinner, dancing, or more drinks.
#03: Start with an Introduction
Whether you're the best man, maid of honor, or a friend of the couple, it’s important to introduce yourself at the beginning of the toast. Simply say something like, “Hi, I’m _______, and I’ve known _________ for _____ years.” Or start with an introduction that includes your relationship, “I’m ________’s sorority sister from her college days!”. This sets the context and gives the audience background knowledge and a better sense of your relationship with the couple.
#04: Share a Personal Story or Memory
We’re not saying don’t share a personal story or a memory with the reception guests. A great toast can include a personal story or two. Think about a short, fun, touching, or meaningful moment you’ve shared with the couple. Maybe it’s a memory from childhood with the groom or a moment that made you realize how much the bride and groom belong together. The key is to make it relatable, about their relationship, NOT you and your friend, and make it sincere, so everyone can connect with the story.
#05: Don’t Forget to Compliment the Couple
Don’t forget to share your admiration for the couple! Talk about what makes them such a great match. Compliment their individual qualities, what they bring out in one another, their love for each other, or the way they make each other better people. This is the HEART of the toast and should reflect your genuine, sincere feelings for the couple.
#06: Keep it Classy
If you’re on the deck to give a toast, be mindful of your speech and how it will be received with the guests. It is OK to incorporate humor in your speech, but keep it classy. Don’t speak on overly embarrassing moments, or past relationships of either party. Incorporate light-hearted jokes or anecdotes about the couple's quirks or how they met are usually well-received. And please avoid humor that could make anyone uncomfortable. Stay away from risque convos, too. The goal is to make everyone smile, not cringe or be uncomfortable.
#07: End with a Toast
Before the toasts begin, coordinate with your MC or DJ to make an announcement to visit the bar to fill up their glasses. You want to ensure guests are ready, especially if there will be no passed offerings of champagne. And, don’t forget to end by making a toast to the couple. Ask everyone to raise their guests and go with some of the classics like…
To love, laughter and a lifetime of happiness….please raise your glass!
Raise your glasses to celebrate _____ and ______!
For many blessings and adventures to the lovely couples, so raise your glass!
#08: Practice, Practice, Practice
Please, please practice. Even if it’s 1-2 times before the actual toast, give your speech a practice run through with a friend. Write down bullet points if you need to, rehearse in front of the mirror or in the car. But, before you step up to give your toast, you will need to practice it a few times. This will help you decrease anxiety and become confident and comfortable. You don't have to memorize it word for word, but knowing the key points will keep you from rambling.
#09: Enjoy the Moment
Public speaking is nerve-wracking, but remember that this moment isn’t about perfection. The guests are there to celebrate the couple, and they’ll appreciate the effort you put into your toast. Take a deep breath, smile, and enjoy the opportunity to be part of such a special day. When in doubt, keep it about the couple.
Giving a wedding toast is a true honor, and with a little thought and preparation, you can make it a moment that everyone remembers. Focus on sharing your genuine feelings for the couple and celebrating their love, and you’ll do great! After all, it’s the sentiment that counts most, and nothing beats a toast that comes from the heart.
Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.