Back to Basics: Wedding Planning 101

Today we want to talk about creating a basic overview that you can use as a guideline as you walk through the motions of getting your big day in order. As we discussed last week, it can be overwhelming to get engaged and move into the planning phase when you don’t know where to begin. We walked through what to begin with directly after your engagement and now we will take a step further to look at the process as a whole. Let’s get some major tasks pinned down!

Guest list. The guest list is probably one of the most important facets to planning a successful event. You need to know how many people will be attending, including how many kids. This will help decide how kid friendly you will need to design your reception and what your menu will look like. It will also aide in beverage decisions (i.e. open bar vs. cash bar).

Bridal party. Make a complete list with your other half of those you want in your bridal party. Make sure to follow through with this step all the way and include who will be walking down the aisle with who. During this step, also think about who else will be walking down the aisle. Do you want the officiant to already be in the ceremony area? Or would you prefer him/her to walk down the aisle to begin with? Who will be escorting your grandmother or grandfather? Lastly, agree on a flower girl and ring bearer.

Venue shopping. After you’ve gone through the beginning motions of finding your season and setting a date, begin to brainstorm where and what kind of venue you’re looking for. When you have an idea of the style you like, begin to search around the area you’re aiming to wed. Budgeting is important during this step, so be aware of your spending limit.

Find that dress. Next up; the dress. You’ve got the styles you like and don’t like and you know what will flatter your figure best. Choose one dress shop you’re curious about and make an appointment. Take it one appointment at a time. If you don’t find anything you like at the first shop, pick out another and make an appointment a few weeks later. You want time for your brain to decipher why you didn’t like any of the dresses at the first shop and help you gain some perspective of what you’re specifically looking for.

Catering/dessert. Now that you know what your guest list looks like and how many people you’re expecting, you can begin to narrow down catering options. Getting recommendations from someone you trust is important. Pick two different caterers and set up a tasting. If you like neither, pick two other catering companies you want to try and make a tasting appointment for a couple weeks later. Like finding a dress, it will give you some time to marinate on what you’re looking for. Use the same technique for choosing your dessert.

Florist. Go through magazines and photos of flower scenes that best match your taste and color choices. Then, pick out a florist that has great reviews near the venue you chose. You want them to be nearby so the flowers don’t have to be in transit for an extended period of time.

We hope this guide gives you some relief as you begin planning your special day. This is only the beginning and on Thursday we’ll expand this overview to highlight what’s to come next. Stay tuned everyone!

Keeping the Peace amongst your Bridal Party

When choosing who you are going include in your bridal party, it can be difficult to navigate through your group of friends and family without hurting anyone’s feelings. After this task, it can be even more difficult to keep the party happy as a whole. Here are few rules of thumb we’ve established to aide with all bridal party issues that may come about!

Make your own rules; MOH & Best Man. A lot of people think there is an unspoken rule that you are only allotted one Maid of Honor and one Best Man. We are here to tell you this is false information. If you have two loved ones you can’t decide between, why not employ both? From there, it will be their responsibility to work together to help you with anything you need for your big day. On the contrary, if you don’t want a Maid of Honor or Best Man, you don’t need to have one. Instead, just designate tasks among the group so everyone can take part equally.

Take their ideas into consideration. We don’t mean to simply go along with whatever your bridal party wants to do; they may have some very creative and/or crazy ideas. Definitely let the bridal parties voice their opinions, though. If they are happy on your big day, you’ll be happy too. For example, when deciding on attire, introduce your general idea to the group and find out the census; will they feel good in what you’d like them to wear? Will they be comfortable? Use their opinion to guide you toward the best middle ground for everybody.  

Keep alcohol consumption at a minimum pre-ceremony.  It’s important your bridal parties are on their A-game as they precede you down the aisle. This is the moment all your guests will be waiting for; stumbles, forgotten rings, incorrect formation, etc. are all at stake for these precious moments. After the ceremony is complete, the partying can begin without restraint if you desire!

Thank yous. It’s important to thank all of your bridesmaids and groomsmen for walking alongside you on your special day. Let them know they are important to you and their willingness to participate means the world to you. Little gifts are a great idea to show you care about their decision to take part and they don’t have to be lavish or expensive. Anything as simple as a card, keychain or homemade treats will show your appreciation.

Give them the special treatment. Give your bridal party a little special treatment! For example, if you’re not including a plus one for each of your guests, allot your bridal party to bring their special someone. Another idea is to give them special glasses for their drinks that are different from the rest of the guests.

Keeping your bridal party happy and excited will make you feel that much more happy and excited for your special day! Choosing members for your bridal parties that love you just as much as you love them shouldn’t pose many issues to begin with, so start there!

Calming the Storm during the Planning Process

It holds true that sometimes, there can be too many cooks in the kitchen when trying to plan your big day. Yes, the love for your friends and family runs deep—but it can get really hard to make wedding decisions with so many opinions floating around. It’s even more difficult to keep the peace between parties when conflicting ideals arise. We have a few pointers for you and yours when you find yourself in this situation.

Set clear boundaries before any of the planning begins. Before you even jump into planning anything, make it clear that this is you and your partner’s day.  If a loved one brings up a venue you should absolutely, without a doubt, most definitely reserve, let them know you will take a look, but you will also be looking at other venues.  Let them know you are considering their recommendation, but are keeping your options open, sending the message that you appreciate their idea and will ultimately make the decision after all ideas are considered.

Travel in small groups. The more people you bring with you to make dress, flower, catering and décor decisions, the more opinions you are going to receive. Choose the least amount of absolutely essential people that you cannot make a decision without, and don’t add any extras. This will cut down on the amount of conflicting ideas that could arise.

Skip the consult. Sometimes you just have to listen to your gut when making certain decisions and asking your friends or loved ones what they think may just confuse you that much more. It’s almost impossible to make a decision with so many different views on one idea. This extends the amount of time it will take for you to make a decision, and you may just forget what it is that you and your partner actually want. Don’t ask what others think if you know what you want, just choose what you want and be confident in your choice! You are never going to choose something wrong if it’s something you like; this is your day!

Hand a little more control over to your planner. Sometimes introducing an objective third party into the planning process can be a great buffer between you and your family and friends. There are a lot of opinions floating around, but if you let your planner know what you want, he/she will certainly make it happen without feeling an emotional obligation to anyone else. Then, if someone is upset about it, the planner will be the middle person to back up you and your choices.

Of course you want all your loved ones to be there to help you map out your special day, but in reality it can be a bit tricky. You don’t have to cut them out of the planning process altogether, you just need to make sure you set clear boundaries and let everyone know that even though you may go a different direction, you still value their ideas. Elegant Affairs is of course here to help make this all easier!