How to get your Partner to Dive into Wedding Planning

Are you new to the wedding planning journey? If yes – this next blog post is for you. You’ve entered the realm of wedding planning, you’re newly engaged, and ready to dive into planning. But, as you begin to plan, you notice that you may be doing more of the heavy lifting. One of the biggest questions we get asked is how to get your partner excited and ready to dive into planning. Now, we don’t mean just answering “yes” and “no” questions – folks want to know how to encourage their partners to be active participants in the planning process. We’ve done our research and even asked a partner or two… here’s what it takes to get your partner ready and eager to DIVE headfirst into your wedding planning ERA.

#01: Get Moving! 

We asked a former Elegant Affairs Groom, what did it take for you to want to get involved in the wedding planning process. His first response was to physically get out and explore wedding vendors and venues. Sometimes, all your partner needs to envision things in real life, rather than just on the internet. Perhaps, scrolling through websites or viewing your Pinterest board isn’t the way to snag ‘em. Work together to set up venue walk-throughs and vendor appointments at a time that works best for both of you. Physically get out to the location and experience the sights and touches together. You’ll not only create memories, but you’ll be able to choose wedding details together while working hands-on. This groom of ours said that “going out to the venues helped me envision what my fiance was imagining. It helped me get excited for our wedding day and want to become invested in the wedding process.” 

#02: Start with some Food

Get your partner involved in all the fun aspects of planning. This includes encouraging your partner to venture to your tasting sessions. Set up various tastings with your top three caterers and don’t forget about the desserts! Be sure to select a few different dessert options and try them out. You can even make a whole day date adventure out of tasting events! Have fun with it and make some memories. Our groom’s advice is “Don’t let them go on an empty stomach – everything tastes better on an empty stomach.” 

#03: Keep it 50/50

Through the process, it is easy to become overwhelmed with all the details. Some couples may get lost in the process and others may focus too much on the details. Yes, you have your best friends to lean on through the wedding process, but you want to ensure you’re leaning on your partner for each decision made. The decision process for selecting caterers, venues, and vendors should be an equal, 50/50, team decision. You don’t want your partner to feel like the wedding doesn’t reflect them. If you make decisions as a team, your partner is more than apt to become involved and feel involved. At the end of the day, this wedding is a reflection and celebration of you both, as a united front. Creating healthy boundaries and working as an equal team will foster their willingness and excitement to become involved. 

#04: Don’t be Afraid to Delegate

“Sometimes, guys just don’t know where to start. I think when I was told, ‘If you can accomplish xyz, that would be helpful.” Let’s face it, most of us have our Pinterest boards from when we were young. We’ve dreamt of our weddings and our weddings have evolved. So, when we see our partner down on one knee, we kinda already know what direction we want to head. Now, our partners, on the other hand, may not have Pinterest boards or know where to start. Our groom said it was helpful to have a delegation of tasks. Whether it’s managing the budget, or calling the florist, giving your partner a list of tasks that can be accomplished and supporting the team, is beneficial not only for the wedding planning process, but works to get them active in the planning role. Now, it’s important to find a happy medium with delegation, because there is a fine line between barking orders and asking for support. Find that happy spot and work together to determine what tasks your partner feels comfortable and knowledgeable about completing. 

Don’t be afraid to ask for help, especially from your partner, during the wedding planning process. Sometimes your partner may be ready and eager to dive in, others may need a gentle nudge. Don’t be afraid to delegate and decide what tasks will be accomplished and by whom. Start with something fun like food tasting and get your partner out and about with you to explore. Be sure to take the wedding hunt off the internet and try to travel to vendors in person. As always, talk with your partner, lean on your partner, and start this journey together. The wedding planning process is daunting at times but is manageable with a supportive partner. Enjoy the time, make lasting memories, and have fun with the process, because celebrating with your loved ones on your big day will be all worth it! Happy planning!

---

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

Now what about tipping vendors!

We're diving into the heart of wedding planning today – the often overlooked but oh-so-important topic of tipping your incredible wedding vendors. Think of it as the icing on the cake, the final bow on a perfectly wrapped present – it's your way of saying, "You rocked our world, and we appreciate you!" So, grab your cup of coffee or tea, and let's chat about the art of tipping with style.

Why Tipping Matters: A Love Note to Your Vendors

Your wedding vendors are not just professionals doing a job; they are the architects of your dream day, the unsung heroes behind the scenes making sure everything sparkles with magic. Tipping is more than a gesture; it's a way to express gratitude for their hard work, dedication, and for going above and beyond to make your wedding day absolutely perfect.

The Budget-Friendly Reminder

First things first – let's talk budget. When you're meticulously planning every penny, it's crucial to factor in gratuities for your wedding vendors. Consider it an investment in ensuring everyone on your dream team feels the love and appreciation they deserve.

How to Incorporate Tipping into Your Budget:

1. Include a Tipping Category: When creating your wedding budget, set aside a specific percentage for gratuities. This ensures that expressing your gratitude is a planned and joyful part of the process.

2. Allocate Based on Service: Consider the level of service provided by each vendor. Those who go the extra mile might deserve a little extra love.

3. Anticipate Last-Minute Adjustments: Keep a small buffer for unexpected surprises or vendors who exceed your expectations. A little extra tip can go a long way in showing your appreciation.

The Art of Tipping: Who, When, and How Much?

Now, let's break it down. Who gets a tip, when should you tip, and how much is just right? It's a bit like a dance, but don't worry – we've got the perfect steps for you.

1. The Who (but not limited to just these vendors):

• Catering and Bar Staff: 15-20% of the total bill is the sweet spot for these unsung heroes. Most often the gratuity is included in your final bill so always double-check and make sure how they distribute the tips to the team at your wedding.

• Photographer/Videographer: A good amount is $200-$500, but that depends on whether you hired an associate photographer or if you had the owner of the company.

• Hair and Makeup Artists: 15-20% of the total bill, just like a salon visit.

• Florist: A flat fee of $10-$500 for their bloomin' beautiful work.

• Entertainment (DJ/Band): $50-$100 per member.

• Wedding Planner: This is the hardest area for us since we are talking directly to our clients about this. Its great to tip your wedding planner and their team member(s). Typically its $200-$500 for the wedding planner and $50-$100 per team member.

2. The When:

Timing is everything. We recommend placing your cash tips in sealed envelopes, ready for distribution, during the rehearsal, or when we arrive onsite on the wedding day. This ensures a smooth and stress-free process, allowing you to focus on the love and excitement of the day.

3. The How Much:

Remember, these are just guidelines. If a vendor has gone above and beyond, feel free to adjust accordingly. Tipping is about recognizing exceptional effort and making sure your gratitude is felt.

The Envelope Exchange: Spreading the Love

As your trusty wedding planner, we've got a little secret to share – the magic of the envelope exchange. Handing out tips can be a logistical challenge on your big day, so we've got you covered. Simply seal your cash tips in labeled envelopes during the rehearsal or before the wedding day. Hand them over to us, and we'll ensure each vendor gets their well-deserved token of appreciation after they've given their all to make your day perfect.

Spread the Joy!

In the end, tipping is not just a transaction – it's a beautiful way to spread joy, show gratitude, and ensure that your wedding vendors know their hard work has been noticed and cherished. Show the love, spread the joy, and let your wedding day be a symphony of appreciation and unforgettable moments. 💖✨

---

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

Why Hiring a Wedding Planner is a Game Changer

We’ve heard all sorts of reasons why couples choose not to hire a wedding planner. From “my Aunt loves DIY projects” to, “I’ve got my Pinterest board” we’ve heard hundreds of reasons why couples don’t book a wedding planner. But, did you know that hiring a wedding planner is a TRUE game changer. Ask any of our brides or grooms and they will tell you the impact our team has made on their planning process and wedding day. A wedding planner is there to help you as little as you need, to as much as you need. We are in it for our couples and our couples only! So, let’s settle this once and for all - here is why you NEED to hire a wedding planner. 

#01: From big to small, we do it ALL

We’re not exaggerating. We literally do it all. From small requests, details, or projects to large coordinations of events we do it all. We’ve planned and coordinated elopements for just the bride and groom to a wedding ceremony and reception at max capacity – and we’re talking about 500 guests! Wedding planners are not afraid of the unknown. From meeting and booking vendors, to helping with design or color palettes, wedding planners truly make your Pinterest boards come to life. 

#02: You’ve got a question, we will find the answer!

We keep our communication strong with our clients. Yes, of course we set healthy boundaries – we won’t be taking non-stop calls at 2AM, but communicate with our brides and grooms on a regular basis to ensure that all details are progressing up until the wedding day. A lot of our clients need support with finding vendors or learning more about the wedding planning process. Wedding planners have an extensive knowledge of the wedding industry and have a network of wedding professionals to lean on. At Elegant Affairs, we’ve worked with vendors for over a decade. We’re familiar with costs, understand what vendors offer and can help keep that line of communication open with them. 

#03: Keeping your budget REAL

Oh, the dreaded budget! With a wedding planner, staying on budget is actually easier than you think! Many couples think that hiring a wedding planner will burst the budget, but in fact – we help you stay on track! During our consultations, we meet with couples and explore what their budget is. We will be 100% real and upfront with you about your wedding vision and its alignment to the budget. We will support you by keeping you on budget, hiring vendors that suit your needs, and make sure that payments are handled on time. There’s no hidden agenda and we work to make sure that you are comfortable and knowledgeable about what you are sitting. We even offer budget creation! 

#04: Keeping your wedding day smooth sailing

Wedding planners are usually never alone. We have a team of assistants and interns that make each and every wedding happen. Our team is carefully selected and trained to ensure that each and every wedding is a success. Wedding planners facilitate your day from start to finish. The list of things that we actually do at weddings is so extensive.. In our time we’ve: 

• Sewn a bride in her dress 

• Carried 200 chairs from a ceremony space to the reception 

• Put flowers in the cake

• Made bouquets 

• Filled in as DJ

• Created chalkboards and custom artwork 

• Set up tablescapes and escort cards

• Carried umbrellas for our couples as it poured

• Ensured guests were well fed and happy 

• Took and developed 500 photos for a bride and groom’s parting gift 

• Burnt our fingers on way too many sparklers 

… and we could keep going. There are so many things that we do in the background of each wedding. We are there to make sure the wedding is smooth, but also to support the couple. Our focus is you and making sure that your wedding day is better than you could have ever imagined. 

#05: You’ve got a friend in US

Cue the Toy Story song.. At the end of the day you’ve got a friend in us. We have stayed in this business for our couples. Yes, we love event planning, the florals, and of course a bite of cake, but we love seeing our couples walk down the aisle and start their new adventure together. We’ve cried with our couples (happy and sad), walked with them through some dark times, cheered with them in the bright times, seen them expand their families, and grow. Hiring a wedding planner is more than hiring someone for just a period of time. You lean on this person during one of the biggest and most important times in your life. We become a part of each other's lives and truly become someone special to one another. 

So, we can truly say if you’re hesitating, or wondering if the money is worth it– we’re here to tell you it is. Wedding planners are more than just a business. We are a group of professionals that make an impact on one of the most pivotal moments in your life. We are there to help you with planning, hiring, budgeting, easy and tough decisions. We are there for everything in between, too. It’s never too late in the wedding planning process to sit down and chat with a wedding planner. And if you haven’t we highly recommend that you do. You never know what unexpected events or details might happen and honestly - it’s great to know that a friend has your back. If you think you’re ready to take the plunge and hire someone great – we know a few people – AHEM. Our team at Elegant Affairs can’t wait to meet you and support you on your wedding day. 

---

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.