Say No to a Playlist

We’ve all spent some time in our years creating our perfect playlist on Apple Music or Spotify. We rock out to our crafted playlist in the car, at the pool, or turn it up when we clean the house. But, should playlists make an appearance at your wedding, too? We all love a good playlist, but in the grand scheme of things, playlists are not a person. Playlists do not provide a fun ambience, bring lighting to brighten up the space and get your guests dancing, cannot take requests, or bring a sound system with them. DJs and bands play an important role in weddings. They are an essential vendor during the ceremony and the reception. So, let’s talk about why they deserve a line in your wedding budget. 

I’m not going to lie, myself and other wedding assistants have played the role of DJ for many weddings. Back in the day, and we’re talking iPod days, I’ve clicked playlists or had to wait for the right second of the song to stop and change music as the bride walks down the aisle. I’m going to be real with you, I get stressed out just thinking about it. It was stressful. Even with a playlist, I can feel myself scrambling and worrying if the song would play, or if the plug with give feedback in the system. I never liked playing DJ. There are too many mistakes to happen and you definitely don’t want your loved ones or guests to be in charge of a role that should be played by a professional. 

One of the biggest roles we play is coordinating the day of your wedding. This includes scheduling and accounting for each minute of your wedding day. One of the key people we coordinate with to create this timeline is your DJ or band. Your vendor in charge of entertainment will determine what kind of sound system set up is needed for the ceremony and the reception. We will discuss the exact portion of your songs, to the second, where to start, where to play, and your entertainment will handle it seamlessly. Once we coordinate the timing for your procession, recession, cake cut, first dance, mother daughter etc., your DJ will stick to the timing and ensure that your wedding runs smoothly with all of your must-have songs being played. You will not have to worry about when your music will play or how it will be executed. Your DJ or band will have it covered! 

Your hired DJ or band will also help keep your wedding lively and your guests engaged. Many entertainment vendors will have various options and extras that can add some spice to your wedding day! We’ve seen gorgeous uplighting that compliments our couples’ wedding colors, as well as their monogram in lights during their first dance. Your entertainment can fit your personality and your vibe. You will meet with your vendor prior to the wedding day to determine your must haves and your do not play list. And trust us, this do not play list is important. You can decide if you want guests to ask for requests, or if you want your DJ to select music based on the vibe of the crowd. Once we had a group of individuals that seemed to really love 90’s hip hop and the DJ felt their energy and adjusted his music with the approval of the bride and groom. They are professionals that contribute largely to the atmosphere of your wedding day. 

Now, you might be thinking that DJ’s and bands are outdated. Or perhaps you think, “I don’t want my reception to feel like a club.” Well, did you know that there are different types of DJs or bands? We like to think of DJs like a photographer. Photographers have different styles and editing. Some like their photos posed and crisp and clean, while other photographers prefer candid shots with warm tones. Much like you shop for a photographer, you’ll shop for a wedding entertainer. DJs and bands provide different experiences. Some offer a classic DJ experience, some mix songs as they go, others work on getting the crowd up and dancing. We’ve seen live bands that work on getting guests dancing and participating. There are a wide variety of DJs and bands out there and we have worked with so many fabulous vendors that create a stress free wedding day for other vendors and their clients. 

When you select a wedding entertainer, the first question you’ll want to ask is what kind of experience do you and your guests want to have. What do you envision for your wedding day? Do you want a live concert feeling? Or do you want a DJ that can keep the crowd up and dancing? Once you determine the style of DJ of the band you’d like, the next step is determining what role you want your vendor to play on your wedding day. Each company will have different packages and offer different skill ranges and extras. We suggest meeting with a few vendors and determining what each vendor can offer. You want to find a vendor that will be a good fit with your energy, personality, and wedding expectations. 

Once you’ve selected your DJ or band, you want to meet with them and determine what you style is for the ceremony and reception. Often your vendor can help you select your songs for the ceremony or first dance, but you are more than welcome to bring ideas to the meeting! Be sure to be clear on your don’t play list, what their systems are for the ceremony and reception, your view on requests, when the last song will be played, and how your wedding coordinator will incorporate your DJ or band into wedding day announcements. 

Although playlists may seem like the more affordable option, we hands-down recommend hiring a DJ or wedding band to entertain you and your guests on your wedding day. They are professionals that are able to ensure you will have a stress-free wedding day and be able to focus on your wedding and enjoy the company of your guests. Having the right wedding entertainment can make or break your wedding. They help create the energy for your wedding day and keep your guests dancing through the night. So, just say NO to the playlist… we promise you won’t regret it.

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

Creating the Perfect Ceremony Script

We live in a world where anything is just a click away. This includes becoming an ordained minister through the google. Even our fearless leader, Lori, is ordained and has officiated her fair share of weddings. Whether you decide to get married at a church, or have your grandfather or BFF marry you on the beach, there are many things to consider when creating your ceremony script. If you’re in the trenches of wedding planning, we highly suggest that you sit down with your partner and begin to build your perfect ceremony script. Today, we’re going to break down the creation of the perfect ceremony script - including what to add, what to leave out, and how to make it focused on you, your partner, and your beautiful relationship. 

#01: Talk about your Beliefs

First and foremost, this is hands down the most important topic in creating your ceremony script. You and your partner will need to determine what your beliefs are and what kind of ceremony you’d like to have. Do your beliefs require you to get married in a church setting or are you wanting to have a family friend become ordained and marry you. Determining the “how” and “why” you chose your ceremony location and officiant or pastor is the most important part of creating your ceremony. Sort out your mutual beliefs and make the decision on how you will incorporate this into your partnership and wedding day. 

#02: Religious and Cultural Traditions 

Many couples want to include religious or cultural traditions in their ceremony. Whether you’d like your bridesmaid to read a verse from the Bible, or you have a specific tradition that demonstrates unity from your culture, deciding what traditions are essential will help create the structure of your ceremony script. In addition, many couples like to add some sort of visual or testament to unity. Whether unity sand is your jam, or you’d like to find another visual to show a nod to your unity, decide what you’d like to have included. 

#03: Who will Participate? 

You and your partner will need to determine who will participate in your ceremony. Will you have your wedding party speak? Or will your wedding party sit down for the duration of the ceremony? You will need to decide who will be participants in your ceremony script and how. This includes ring bearers, flower girls, and even your parents. 

#04: What will the Length be?

The length of your script and ceremony will be determined on a few things. First, you’ll want to take account of your location and the weather. If your wanting an outdoor summer wedding at 5 o’clock, it’s probably best to keep your ceremony short and sweet. You want to keep your guests comfortable throughout the duration of the ceremony and that includes the processional, ceremony and recessional. Keep the length appropriate for your venue, time of year, and the beliefs that you have. 

#05: Select your Music!

You and your partner will want to select music that speaks to you and your relationship. Find songs that reflect the love you share for one another and determine what parts of the songs you want featured. You don’t have to feature the whole song, you may just select a short segment of the song. Most couples will select songs for the following: processional, introduction of the bride, first kiss, and recessional. 

#06: Tailor it to your Relationship!

We’ve saved the best for last. Your perfect ceremony script should reflect who you are as a couple and your bond together. The script you include, the readings you select, the songs and participants, should all be a reflection of who you and your partner are and the love that you share. 

Crafting the perfect ceremony script is not as scary as it sounds. You can truly design a script to be whatever you want it to be if you follow our six easy steps. Decide what you and your partner’s beliefs are, who you want to participate, select the songs you’d like during your ceremony and create a ceremony that reflects the heart of your relationship. We love hearing unique ceremonies that highlight the beauty of our couples’ magical relationships!

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Seattle Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

How to Plan a Wedding, Stress Free!

Let’s get real – stress can impact your body, mind, emotions, and behaviors. There can be major causes of stress in our day to day life, from personal problems to challenges in the workplace, we work to navigate stress on a daily basis. Although we may experience stress in many different areas of lives, one of the areas that we, at Elegant Affairs, work diligently to alleviate is that stress that comes with wedding planning. We all know that stress happens – it just does, but there are ways to limit or entirely eliminate the stress you may experience with wedding planning.

So, let’s talk about the potential causes of stress and how you can be stress-free bride or groom throughout the wedding planning process. 

#01: Seek Help from a Wedding Professional

Out of all of the potential solutions to alleviate stress, seeking help by hiring a wedding professional is essential. Wedding planners are equipped to handle stressful situations. From our point of view, our job (as much as we love what we do) is down right stressful. We work tirelessly to ensure that our couples get the day they dream of, with as little stress as possible. Wedding planners work as the in between and source of knowledge between your vendors, guests, and even your future mother in law. We have been there for clients who need a shoulder to cry on after a dress fitting, or for couples that experience a stressful situation before walking down the aisle. We are in the trenches and handle these stressful situations for you in a professional manner. Hiring a wedding planner or professional needs to be a line in your budget. Even if you’re on the fence about hiring someone, meet with someone first for a consultation to see what they can do to best support you and your partner throughout the wedding process. We cannot recommend this enough. 

#02: Give Yourself Time 

Unless there is a reason that you must plan your nuptials quickly, give yourself plenty of time to plan and execute all of the details of your wedding. We’ve found that if our clients give themselves a reasonable time to plan, the stress is lessened. Create a calendar and monthly to-do lists to accomplish all of the tasks at hand. If you’ve hired a wedding planner, one of the benefits is that they create a timeline of tasks to complete with you! You’ll want to know what to complete and when you should complete these tasks. But, we definitely recommend that you select a reasonable timeframe, anywhere between 8 - 18 months. You don’t want to give yourself too much time, because you know what they say about idle hands… 

#03: Create a Detailed Plan for the Month Prior 

Even if you’ve had a stress free experience throughout the planning process, often our clients can feel a surge of stress towards the end.  We highly suggest that you create a detailed plan of all the “must-do” items that last month leading up to your wedding. This includes any last minute fitting, make-up or items that you need to pick up, payments that need to be made and how they need to be made, packing and organizing items that need to be set up on the day of, when to write your vows, etc. If you create a plan and a time frame to complete these items, chances are you will decrease the stress leading up to your wedding day. 

#04: Don’t Stress About What You Can’t Control 

There are things in life that you can’t control. We can’t control the weather and we definitely cannot control other peoples’ actions. Now, the same goes for your wedding day. There are things in which you cannot control. You can’t control if it rains during your ceremony or if your best friend’s flight is delayed. But, you can create back-up plans to alleviate some of these things. On the day of your wedding, if unexpected experiences happen, don’t stress about it. Find a way to take a breath and remember the reason that you, your partner, and loved ones are here today. Create different plans for things that you may not be able to control and ask for support with things that come your way on the day of. You don’t have to manage all of these stressful experiences alone, nor should you have to. 

#05: Find Pockets of Peace

Throughout your wedding planning process, find pockets of peace that you can destress and relax. Whether you create a routine to read your favorite book, go on a stress-free date with your partner, or just take a nap, find time to ground yourself. This includes the day of! We highly suggest taking a moment after your ceremony to de-stress and find a pocket of peace. Whatever you need to do to unwind or relax (in a healthy manner of course) we suggest your do, especially on your day of!

We wish that wedding planning wouldn’t be so stressful, but we know that stress arises and that is why there are wonderful folks in the wedding industry to support you. If you are starting to feel the stress of planning or the thought of planning your wedding, we highly encourage you to reach out to someone in the industry for help. There are people out there that have ample experiences in creating and executing events and that are ready to tackle these stressful situations for you. Don’t forget to find pockets of peace throughout the process, give yourself plenty of time to tackle items on your to-do list and create detailed plans leading up to your wedding day. Don’t let stress take the love and fun out of planning. Take a breath, seek some help, and remember at the end of the day – your wedding will be all that it needs to be. 

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a PNW-Based Destination Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.