Managing Family Dynamics on Your Wedding Day: What You Need to Know

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Every family has different family dynamics and just like the old phrase sometimes, you can’t live with 'em’ but you can’t live without them. Chances are if you’re reading this, you may have similar feelings. Or you may just want to prepare yourselves and others for this large upcoming event that you have. Just know you aren’t alone. When it comes to planning any event, no matter what the size, emotions can be at a high and dynamics can be hard to navigate at times. We can’t promise that this blog will be about how to eliminate all negative feelings or difficult situations to navigate, but what we can do is help you handle these situations with grace. 

Before the wedding day, there’s already a lot of opinions rolling in. From locations, to where to have the wedding if your family is in a variety of states. For some reason, during this time, families may feel the want to express all the opinions, fears, and hopes that they have for you and your partner during this time. The best way to start this process is to adjust your perspective and remember that this is your wedding day. This is your day, with your partner, where you celebrate your love for each other. This simple perspective will guide you through these difficult decisions. Now, we’re not saying to ignore your family’s advice or opinions, but you are not obligated to accept and follow their opinions. Take it with a grain of salt, these are all just suggestions. You can discuss these suggestions with your partner and go from there and remember that their support has good intentions. 

Remember your WHY
Your why is your guiding force when planning your wedding and will ultimately help you with all of the choices you will make. As you begin, or even if you’re already on your wedding journey, your partner is your best resource. As this journey may be a difficult time, especially if there are difficult family dynamics, lean on your partner, envision the big picture, and remember that as tensions begin to rise, set boundaries, and focus on the purpose of walking down the aisle. Know that it is okay to walk away if needed, to take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts and focus on your vision and priorities. 

Recognize Potential Sources of Conflict 
Although you may not be able to pin point each rising conflict or moments of high emotions leading up to your wedding day, there may be some precipitating factors that you can predict and work on handling prior to the climax. Sit with your partner and discuss situations or a list of reasons that may cause tension or conflict to arise. It could be that your Aunt Betty doesn’t get along with her ex, so it may be best to seat them across the room from each other. Or, even if you know that your future mother-in law has the best intentions, but you don’t want a closed door during your moments to get ready – set those boundaries. Having a general idea of conflicts that may arise on your day, can help you figure out a plan to handle these prior to when they arise. Use your wedding party, lean on your partner, to give those gentle nudges to set your boundaries before things spiral out of control. Have crucial conversations with these key players prior to your wedding days and explain your boundaries and remind them of your way. 

Handle ALL Financial Contributions with Care
This can be the trickiest part of wedding planning can be the inflow of financial contributions. First and foremost, it is vital that you are thankful to those who are contributing to your wedding financially. Traditions have changed and long gone are the days where expectations of fully funded weddings. Discuss with your partner on how to handle these financial contributions. Are there specific portions of the budget to apply these contributions. For instance, can some pay for your wedding attire? You can include these key people in moments such as this, that give them the pleasure of being apart of the wedding decisions without being the sole decision maker. Ensure that you thank the financial contributors in person and formally through written correspondence. Be mindful and prepared that some individuals who contribute may think that they have the right to make decisions on your wedding day due to their contributions. Set those boundaries and remain firm that you are appreciative, but you plan on using the monetary contributions to fulfill your wedding vision. 

Plan Thoughtfully 
Managing family dynamics and relationships can include support your family members that may be divorced, estranged, or simply don’t get along. Plan thoughtfully to navigate these tensions, so nothing arises on your wedding day. Create seating arrangements that seat parents and partners separately, but are comfortable. If they are able to be seated together – awesome, but if you think tensions would arise, create two separate tables to allow space. Talk with your photographer to plan family photo sessions and how to navigate these family situations. Create a list prior of all the family photos you’d like your photographer to capture and communicate in advance with your family members. Last, you’ll want to set roles for each person and throughout the wedding ceremony and reception. Communicate with your family about special dances, toasts or speeches, and other moments. You want everyone to feel and be included, equitably, especially if there are estranged relationships in your family. 

Assign a Point of Contact
Regardless if there is family conflict, you want to appoint someone close to you, such as a bridesmaid, groomsmen, wedding coordinator etc., (anyone but you and your partner), to handle any issues that may arise on your wedding day. You will want to ensure this person is a fluid communicator and handles stress well, is reliable, and can have these crucial conversations and find a solution discreetly, and effectively, so you and your partner can focus on enjoying your wedding day. In all honesty, the best person to handle these situations are your wedding planner or day of coordinators. I cannot tell you how many situations we’ve handled discreetly behind the scenes, but that is all a part of what we do on the day of. We work hard to handle all situations that arise with grace. 

We can’t promise you that if you follow all of these steps that no problems will arise during the wedding planning process or on the day of. But, what we can assure you with, is that if you follow these steps, you will have a plan for handling situations when and if they do arise. Lean on your partner and remember the end goal of your wedding day. Communicate with key players in your wedding, especially if they are contributing financially. Select a key person that can be there to support you, delegate, and handle situations with grace. The more you prepare on the back in, the more you will be ready to handle any situations that may come your way. 

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

Breaking Down Vendor Contracts: What You Need to Know Before Signing

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As you begin your wedding planning journey, you probably started researching wedding vendors to help bring your vision to life. You begin to look for the perfect wedding venue, photographer, florist, caterer and entertainment to keep your guests dancing all night. But, as you begin to narrow down and make your selections, you need to make the decision and sign the contract. Fact of the matter is, contracts are essential for both parties. Vendors have contracts to ensure that clients are aware of the exact services and experience they will receive on their wedding day. It is a written agreement between both the vendor and the client that both parties will abide by. Contracts can seem daunting and unexpected as you begin this journey. Some may have many different sections and others may just down right surprise you. Let’s take a closer look at what contracts include and what you need to know before you sign on the dotted line. 

The Basics
Contracts are a part of most large business transactions. As you search for your vendors, ensure that you select vendors with contracts. Yes, an under the table arrangement may seem like a great idea, but when it comes down to the day of, you want to clearly know what to expect and the quality that will be delivered. A contract is a written agreement between you and your vendors. The contract will describe the service, terms of payment, and all the details in between. Contracts are binding, and there will be fine lines if you need to break your agreement. Vendors and clients should refer to the contract to ensure there are no misunderstandings throughout the planning process or the day of. The basics of a contract will always include the following: 

• Your and your partner’s name 

• The vendor’s name and address 

• Services will be (or should be) clearly named

• Cost of services and terms of payment to include: if there is a deposit, when payments are due and in what increments 

• Both parties acknowledge their agreement and sign 

A good contract will include the vendor’s signature and both clients. Always ask for a copy if one is not given to you and review the contract before you sign. 

Take Your Time: The wedding planning process can often feel stressful, especially if you are running on a shorter time frame. But, no matter what the time frame, many couples are just ready to sign on the dotted line to select their vendors quickly. On the contrary, it is so important to ask for a sample contract, or if you’re reading to sign, to take your copy home to review. You will want to read it with your partner and/or a trusted individual such as your wedding planner or coordinator. You will want to read it several times to ensure you have an understanding on what is outlined. 

Once you read the contract through a few times, ask your questions. Do not be afraid to ask clarifying questions to the vendor. You will want to ensure that all of your questions are answered and that if there aren’t specific details answered in the contract it is discussed and added. While some vendors aren’t willing to adjust their contracts, for instance max occupancy may be one of those details that cannot be adjusted due to fire codes, there may be other areas that can be adjusted such as rehearsal times or storing decor overnight. Some vendors are willing to make changes, and if you don’t ask you won’t know – so you might as well ask away! At the end of the day, do not feel like you have to sign right away. This is a legally binding document and taking the time to make a clear decision is important. 

What to Look For: Most wedding contracts have explicit details with the exact services that you will receive leading up to, or just on the day of. It is important to review all the details so you are fully aware of what is to be expected on the day of your wedding. There are a few key things you will need to locate on your vendor contract. 

Payments Terms: Look for this as it will outline what your payments will be and when they will be due. Due dates with any wedding contract are typical, and be sure that the contract outlines when and how the payments can be made. Is there an online portal? Can you pay using credit card or is it cash only? What are the down payments to secure the date? And, if there is a need to cancel, what are the cancellation policies and is refundable or non-refundable. It is typical that most contracts will say the security deposit, or the first payment is non-refundable. 

Rental Hours: Whether you have a photographer or are looking to book your venue, there are service or rental hours. You will want to see what time the vendors will arrive, or what time you will be able to get into your venue. Vendors all have specific times, and many outline the exact hours they will be present on your wedding day. 

Cancellation Clauses: Of course I always want to think that weddings will go off without something going wrong, but there are things that can and have happened. For instance, think about all the weddings that were cancelled or postponed due to COVID-19. There will alway, or should always, be an “Act of God” or Cancellation Clause in your wedding contract. This covers you and the vendor throughout the wedding planning process. Sometimes, just changing the date can be better than cancelling. You may just have to pay an additional fee to change the date, but it is better than losing a portion of your budget. Always ask the vendor what is the policy and procedure if a date needs to be changed and what is the policy for when an “Act of God” happens. This is something that happens that is out of the control of either party. When situations like this occur, you may be able to get a refund, credits or postpone for a later date. 

Included Rentals: Venue and catering contracts will probably be your most extensive. You will need to ask what is included when signing. For example, with the venue, what kind of furniture and how many of each are included? Keep in mind that some venues will offer tables and chairs, while others will not. In addition, catering always ask about china and linen. Some companies will not have inclusive packages, while others will have all sorts of selections. Ensure that you are asking all of the questions so you know what rentals will be waiting for you on the day of. 

Damage Clauses: Many vendors will have clauses regarding damages. Look for this clause in your contract and if there are not details on damages or what happens if something is damaged during your wedding, ask. 

Insurance: This is always a scary part of the contract. Many clients are shocked that insurance is required by some vendors. Many venues require your vendors, such as your caterer and DJ or entertainment, to have insurance, and your venue will most likely require you to obtain liability insurance for a set amount. Don’t fear, you can call your insurance company and obtain an affordable rate, but if it’s listed in the contract, be sure you hire insured vendors and obtain your insurance, too. 

At the end of the day, it’s better to take your time and to ask your questions before signing. Once you’re in a contract with a vendor it is binding. And be sure to do your research. Many couples who are engaged, visit their first wedding show and book quickly. But, stop and do your research and meet with different vendors. You do not have to book right away and it’s best to let your decisions sit for a little bit. You never want to regret a vendor booking. Do your research, take your time, read and read it again, and ask trusted individuals for your support. Once the contract is signed, it’s time to get on with the planning and start putting your wedding day vision together! And just remember, contracts ensure that you have the best wedding day!

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

The Benefits of Hiring a Professional Wedding Planner in 2025

Wedding planning, from your engagement to the moment you say “I Do” is a careful and cherished process. There are so many decisions and details that go into each wedding day and with modern technology there are so many different weddings to add to your vision board. But behind most of the weddings we see as we scroll through social media, is a hard working team of wedding professionals that enable the couple to have their vision come to life. There are so many arguments that we can go over to explain the reasons why hiring a wedding planner. We could probably sit all day discussing this, as we know the value of having a wedding professional’s support – I mean we live it and breathe it on a daily basis! So, we’ve narrowed down our top benefits of hiring a wedding planning professional. 

#01: Save Time & Money 
You’re probably thinking, wait – I have to spend money to hire a wedding planner – how are we actually saving money? Wedding planners can often save their couples money. They are tied to a network of wedding professionals and preferred vendors. They have know vendors that can fit your budget, or may even be able to negotiate some of the costs on your behalf. They are also the little bug in your ear that remind you constantly to stay within your budget. Wedding planners will help you find cost-efficient solutions and ensure that you stay within your budget. Not only do wedding planners save you money, but they handle so many situations that would normally consume your time. Whether they communicate with vendors, handle walk-throughs, find quotes, they coordinate moments behind the scenes, which in turn free up your time. 

#02: Expert Guidance
Wedding planners are experts in the wedding industry. They are professionals in and beyond the local area. Many have years of experience, be sure to ask for their portfolio and client testimonies during your initial consults! But, they have been through thick and thin, know what professionals to work with and stay clear of. They can provide insight on how to make your wedding come to life, and how to fit it all within your budget. They offer a level of creativity as well as an effective guide through the whole process. 

#03: Vendor Meetings and Selections 
Selecting vendors that are right for your vision, as well as your budget, can be the most difficult part of the process. Wedding planners will help you meet and select vendors that will help make your wedding a success. Trust me, they know who and who not to work with. They will ensure that you are working with vendors that fit within your budget, are qualified professionals, and are able to support your wedding vision. Not only do wedding planners support you with selecting vendors, they can be in charge of all communications leading up to your wedding. They finalize plans, attend vendor planning meetings, ensure that everyone is aware of the timeline for the day, and that the gap for miscommunications are closed. 

#04: Emergency Planning
Emergencies and problems can arise. As much as we hate to see them happen, they do happen, life happens after all. Wedding planners can support any problems that occur along the wedding planning road and help navigate these tricky situations that may arise on your wedding day with grace. Many times, we handle these emergencies so quickly and effectively that the couple are blissfully unaware that anything occurred until after the wedding day.

#05: Overall Experience Enhancement 
One of the best reasons to hire a wedding planner is they enhance your overall experience and your guests. You and your partner are a priority and so are your guests’ comfort and overall experience. We support and field any questions your guests may have and we work to create a welcoming environment. You’ve got a question? We will find an answer. Our goal is for everyone to feel comfortable so the focus can be on celebrating you and your partners’ love! 

#06: Keeping Things on Time
Timelines are so important on your wedding day! We create timelines from the start to finish, and we mean when the doors close! A wedding planner has the knowledge and expertise to create a timeline that will ensure your wedding day goes according to plan. This includes what time vendors will arrive, when your bridesmaids need to be at hair and makeup, down to how long your dad will have to toast. Wedding planners keep your wedding day running like a smooth working machine. 

#07: Stress Free Day 
On your wedding day, we want you and your partner to enjoy your special day without stress. All logistics and problem-solving should be left to us, the professionals. Wedding planners coordinate the events, ensure that everything runs smoothly, handle scheduling, and deal with anything that may go wrong during the event. Our team always tells our couples that we want them to have a stress-free day where they can focus on enjoying their celebration without any worry. If there is any sole benefit for hiring a wedding planner, this would be it – to ensure that you don’t spend your day worrying. We want your day to be enjoyable and stress-free. 

If you’re on the fence about hiring a wedding planner for your 2025 wedding, we beg you to lean towards hiring someone. There are so many benefits, even beyond this list. Wedding planners handle so many situations behind the scenes to ensure that you can truly enjoy your wedding day. We ensure that everything runs well, stays within your budget, help you select vendors that fit your needs and your wants, and create a stress-free day in which you can truly just enjoy. There are countless benefits to hiring a wedding professional, so if you’re just embarking on this journey – please schedule a consultation today. 

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.