How to Create a Comfortable Atmosphere for Out-of-Town Guests

The wedding process begins with creating your budget and determining how many guests you want to attend your wedding day. This can be a tedious task as it can be so difficult to determine if you want a smaller, more intimate affair or to just invite them all. Many couples are opting for smaller weddings and elopements, but traditional weddings surrounded by their loved ones are still holding strong. Oftentimes, you and your partner may be miles away from your loved ones. Most of your guests will not be local, geographically speaking. They will have to coordinate their travel accommodations, including flights, rental cars and accommodations.

For these loving guests that travel near and far to celebrate you and your partner, you want to ensure that they feel stress free, welcomed, and included in your wedding day. It is important to view yourself as host to your wedding guests and provide a little extra support for those out of town guests. Now, we’re not saying that you have to assign a large part of your budget to make the red-carpet experience happen, but there are simple things that you can do to make your guests feel welcomed. 

Communicate, communicate

Keep your guests in the loop. It’s as simple as that. If you know that you and your partner already live far from most of your loved ones, keep them in the loop. Send out those save-the-dates early (6 months - 1 year) to give your friends and family ample time to plan out their trip details. There are other ways to keep your guests in the loop as well. We are big fans of wedding websites. These can hold essential information for your wedding guests including accommodations, local activities and restaurants to keep your guests entertained, down to the wedding guest attire. This is a great, central place to keep all of your guests, local and non-local, up to date with all the must knows. We also recommend creating information cards in your save-the-date and invitation suites. Provide accommodation details, travel information - like what is the best airport to fly into, and transportation information. And, we love a good FAQ card! Keeping your guests in the loop is a great plan to decrease your guests stress, as well as yours. You’re already setting up a wealth of information and knowledge for your loved ones, which will decrease the influx of calls and text messages asking questions. 

Keep their Budgets in Mind
Yes, we know it’s your big day, but if you want your loved ones to travel, you’ve gotta be budget friendly. Keep in mind if you plan any sort of destination wedding, there is a chance that not everyone will be able to attend. Provide as much information as possible, and include different accommodations at different price points. Set up a block of rooms at affordable hotels that will give your guests budget options. Ask which hotels offer shuttles or can provide a shuttle to the wedding venue and back, do some research on the back in to decrease the added stress on your guests. Even some ride sharing companies allow you to create party codes to share, so they don’t have to hunt down their own ride and they can be safe after dancing the night away. 

Create a Guide of Local Activities
Some of your guests may fly in just for the day of, while some may make it into a mini-trip. We love the idea of creating a list of local activities, almost a tour guide pamphlet or wedding site information page, to guide them on their adventure! List some of your favorite places to include parks, restaurants, and even shops. Provide short descriptions or you can even include your favorite aspects of each location! You can even include budget friendly ideas like local sight seeing spots or historical markers. This will keep them entertained while you are getting ready for your big day, and will create a welcoming atmosphere for your wedding guests. 

Welcome Basket or Event 
While it may not be in your budget, you can easily swap areas of your budget to make this happen. For example, replace your wedding favors with welcome baskets! We love welcome baskets for out-of town guests, or even your guests in general. It’s an opportunity to show your appreciation and care for each individual person. Simple welcome bags with local favorite snacks, or simple things like a hydration packet, or late-night snacks is an easy and affordable way to welcome your guests. Even including a bottle or two or water or a postcard with a handwritten note from you and your partner will create a welcoming atmosphere. You can include a timeline of events. If you’re not loving the welcome basket idea, leaving a note with a time and location for a meet up would be a fun alternative! Maybe meet your out-of-town guests at a local restaurant or your favorite bakery for a quick hello. Provide some appetizers and a space for all to feel included in the wedding. 

Share Thanks
Whether you give a toast to all those who attend your wedding and include a special shout out to those who traveled to celebrate with you, or write handwritten thank you cards – make a point to say thank you. Your guests, especially those who are traveling, are going to be spending money to be there. From airfare, to boarding their pets, to paying for accommodations and transportation, effort and finances have gone into their attendance. You never want this to go unnoticed, and you definitely want to ensure that they have a chance to have a meaningful conversation with you. Take some photos with them, have a convo, and share your thanks. It is so special that they are there for you, to celebrate with you. So, in some way – share your thanks. 

As you create your wedding guests, it is important to consider your out of town guests. Be mindful with your communication and make it accessible for your out of town guests to be prepared and know what to expect. Communicate through your wedding website, or invitation suite. Let them know at least six months in advance the date of your wedding and where it will occur. Support them by providing information on the location, booking hotel room blocks, offering transportation support such as a shuttle, and providing information on the ins and outs of the local area. Most importantly, be thankful for all of those who went the extra mile (literally) to be there. 

---

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

Managing Family Dynamics on Your Wedding Day: What You Need to Know

xxxx

Every family has different family dynamics and just like the old phrase sometimes, you can’t live with 'em’ but you can’t live without them. Chances are if you’re reading this, you may have similar feelings. Or you may just want to prepare yourselves and others for this large upcoming event that you have. Just know you aren’t alone. When it comes to planning any event, no matter what the size, emotions can be at a high and dynamics can be hard to navigate at times. We can’t promise that this blog will be about how to eliminate all negative feelings or difficult situations to navigate, but what we can do is help you handle these situations with grace. 

Before the wedding day, there’s already a lot of opinions rolling in. From locations, to where to have the wedding if your family is in a variety of states. For some reason, during this time, families may feel the want to express all the opinions, fears, and hopes that they have for you and your partner during this time. The best way to start this process is to adjust your perspective and remember that this is your wedding day. This is your day, with your partner, where you celebrate your love for each other. This simple perspective will guide you through these difficult decisions. Now, we’re not saying to ignore your family’s advice or opinions, but you are not obligated to accept and follow their opinions. Take it with a grain of salt, these are all just suggestions. You can discuss these suggestions with your partner and go from there and remember that their support has good intentions. 

Remember your WHY
Your why is your guiding force when planning your wedding and will ultimately help you with all of the choices you will make. As you begin, or even if you’re already on your wedding journey, your partner is your best resource. As this journey may be a difficult time, especially if there are difficult family dynamics, lean on your partner, envision the big picture, and remember that as tensions begin to rise, set boundaries, and focus on the purpose of walking down the aisle. Know that it is okay to walk away if needed, to take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts and focus on your vision and priorities. 

Recognize Potential Sources of Conflict 
Although you may not be able to pin point each rising conflict or moments of high emotions leading up to your wedding day, there may be some precipitating factors that you can predict and work on handling prior to the climax. Sit with your partner and discuss situations or a list of reasons that may cause tension or conflict to arise. It could be that your Aunt Betty doesn’t get along with her ex, so it may be best to seat them across the room from each other. Or, even if you know that your future mother-in law has the best intentions, but you don’t want a closed door during your moments to get ready – set those boundaries. Having a general idea of conflicts that may arise on your day, can help you figure out a plan to handle these prior to when they arise. Use your wedding party, lean on your partner, to give those gentle nudges to set your boundaries before things spiral out of control. Have crucial conversations with these key players prior to your wedding days and explain your boundaries and remind them of your way. 

Handle ALL Financial Contributions with Care
This can be the trickiest part of wedding planning can be the inflow of financial contributions. First and foremost, it is vital that you are thankful to those who are contributing to your wedding financially. Traditions have changed and long gone are the days where expectations of fully funded weddings. Discuss with your partner on how to handle these financial contributions. Are there specific portions of the budget to apply these contributions. For instance, can some pay for your wedding attire? You can include these key people in moments such as this, that give them the pleasure of being apart of the wedding decisions without being the sole decision maker. Ensure that you thank the financial contributors in person and formally through written correspondence. Be mindful and prepared that some individuals who contribute may think that they have the right to make decisions on your wedding day due to their contributions. Set those boundaries and remain firm that you are appreciative, but you plan on using the monetary contributions to fulfill your wedding vision. 

Plan Thoughtfully 
Managing family dynamics and relationships can include support your family members that may be divorced, estranged, or simply don’t get along. Plan thoughtfully to navigate these tensions, so nothing arises on your wedding day. Create seating arrangements that seat parents and partners separately, but are comfortable. If they are able to be seated together – awesome, but if you think tensions would arise, create two separate tables to allow space. Talk with your photographer to plan family photo sessions and how to navigate these family situations. Create a list prior of all the family photos you’d like your photographer to capture and communicate in advance with your family members. Last, you’ll want to set roles for each person and throughout the wedding ceremony and reception. Communicate with your family about special dances, toasts or speeches, and other moments. You want everyone to feel and be included, equitably, especially if there are estranged relationships in your family. 

Assign a Point of Contact
Regardless if there is family conflict, you want to appoint someone close to you, such as a bridesmaid, groomsmen, wedding coordinator etc., (anyone but you and your partner), to handle any issues that may arise on your wedding day. You will want to ensure this person is a fluid communicator and handles stress well, is reliable, and can have these crucial conversations and find a solution discreetly, and effectively, so you and your partner can focus on enjoying your wedding day. In all honesty, the best person to handle these situations are your wedding planner or day of coordinators. I cannot tell you how many situations we’ve handled discreetly behind the scenes, but that is all a part of what we do on the day of. We work hard to handle all situations that arise with grace. 

We can’t promise you that if you follow all of these steps that no problems will arise during the wedding planning process or on the day of. But, what we can assure you with, is that if you follow these steps, you will have a plan for handling situations when and if they do arise. Lean on your partner and remember the end goal of your wedding day. Communicate with key players in your wedding, especially if they are contributing financially. Select a key person that can be there to support you, delegate, and handle situations with grace. The more you prepare on the back in, the more you will be ready to handle any situations that may come your way. 

---

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

Breaking Down Vendor Contracts: What You Need to Know Before Signing

xxx

As you begin your wedding planning journey, you probably started researching wedding vendors to help bring your vision to life. You begin to look for the perfect wedding venue, photographer, florist, caterer and entertainment to keep your guests dancing all night. But, as you begin to narrow down and make your selections, you need to make the decision and sign the contract. Fact of the matter is, contracts are essential for both parties. Vendors have contracts to ensure that clients are aware of the exact services and experience they will receive on their wedding day. It is a written agreement between both the vendor and the client that both parties will abide by. Contracts can seem daunting and unexpected as you begin this journey. Some may have many different sections and others may just down right surprise you. Let’s take a closer look at what contracts include and what you need to know before you sign on the dotted line. 

The Basics
Contracts are a part of most large business transactions. As you search for your vendors, ensure that you select vendors with contracts. Yes, an under the table arrangement may seem like a great idea, but when it comes down to the day of, you want to clearly know what to expect and the quality that will be delivered. A contract is a written agreement between you and your vendors. The contract will describe the service, terms of payment, and all the details in between. Contracts are binding, and there will be fine lines if you need to break your agreement. Vendors and clients should refer to the contract to ensure there are no misunderstandings throughout the planning process or the day of. The basics of a contract will always include the following: 

• Your and your partner’s name 

• The vendor’s name and address 

• Services will be (or should be) clearly named

• Cost of services and terms of payment to include: if there is a deposit, when payments are due and in what increments 

• Both parties acknowledge their agreement and sign 

A good contract will include the vendor’s signature and both clients. Always ask for a copy if one is not given to you and review the contract before you sign. 

Take Your Time: The wedding planning process can often feel stressful, especially if you are running on a shorter time frame. But, no matter what the time frame, many couples are just ready to sign on the dotted line to select their vendors quickly. On the contrary, it is so important to ask for a sample contract, or if you’re reading to sign, to take your copy home to review. You will want to read it with your partner and/or a trusted individual such as your wedding planner or coordinator. You will want to read it several times to ensure you have an understanding on what is outlined. 

Once you read the contract through a few times, ask your questions. Do not be afraid to ask clarifying questions to the vendor. You will want to ensure that all of your questions are answered and that if there aren’t specific details answered in the contract it is discussed and added. While some vendors aren’t willing to adjust their contracts, for instance max occupancy may be one of those details that cannot be adjusted due to fire codes, there may be other areas that can be adjusted such as rehearsal times or storing decor overnight. Some vendors are willing to make changes, and if you don’t ask you won’t know – so you might as well ask away! At the end of the day, do not feel like you have to sign right away. This is a legally binding document and taking the time to make a clear decision is important. 

What to Look For: Most wedding contracts have explicit details with the exact services that you will receive leading up to, or just on the day of. It is important to review all the details so you are fully aware of what is to be expected on the day of your wedding. There are a few key things you will need to locate on your vendor contract. 

Payments Terms: Look for this as it will outline what your payments will be and when they will be due. Due dates with any wedding contract are typical, and be sure that the contract outlines when and how the payments can be made. Is there an online portal? Can you pay using credit card or is it cash only? What are the down payments to secure the date? And, if there is a need to cancel, what are the cancellation policies and is refundable or non-refundable. It is typical that most contracts will say the security deposit, or the first payment is non-refundable. 

Rental Hours: Whether you have a photographer or are looking to book your venue, there are service or rental hours. You will want to see what time the vendors will arrive, or what time you will be able to get into your venue. Vendors all have specific times, and many outline the exact hours they will be present on your wedding day. 

Cancellation Clauses: Of course I always want to think that weddings will go off without something going wrong, but there are things that can and have happened. For instance, think about all the weddings that were cancelled or postponed due to COVID-19. There will alway, or should always, be an “Act of God” or Cancellation Clause in your wedding contract. This covers you and the vendor throughout the wedding planning process. Sometimes, just changing the date can be better than cancelling. You may just have to pay an additional fee to change the date, but it is better than losing a portion of your budget. Always ask the vendor what is the policy and procedure if a date needs to be changed and what is the policy for when an “Act of God” happens. This is something that happens that is out of the control of either party. When situations like this occur, you may be able to get a refund, credits or postpone for a later date. 

Included Rentals: Venue and catering contracts will probably be your most extensive. You will need to ask what is included when signing. For example, with the venue, what kind of furniture and how many of each are included? Keep in mind that some venues will offer tables and chairs, while others will not. In addition, catering always ask about china and linen. Some companies will not have inclusive packages, while others will have all sorts of selections. Ensure that you are asking all of the questions so you know what rentals will be waiting for you on the day of. 

Damage Clauses: Many vendors will have clauses regarding damages. Look for this clause in your contract and if there are not details on damages or what happens if something is damaged during your wedding, ask. 

Insurance: This is always a scary part of the contract. Many clients are shocked that insurance is required by some vendors. Many venues require your vendors, such as your caterer and DJ or entertainment, to have insurance, and your venue will most likely require you to obtain liability insurance for a set amount. Don’t fear, you can call your insurance company and obtain an affordable rate, but if it’s listed in the contract, be sure you hire insured vendors and obtain your insurance, too. 

At the end of the day, it’s better to take your time and to ask your questions before signing. Once you’re in a contract with a vendor it is binding. And be sure to do your research. Many couples who are engaged, visit their first wedding show and book quickly. But, stop and do your research and meet with different vendors. You do not have to book right away and it’s best to let your decisions sit for a little bit. You never want to regret a vendor booking. Do your research, take your time, read and read it again, and ask trusted individuals for your support. Once the contract is signed, it’s time to get on with the planning and start putting your wedding day vision together! And just remember, contracts ensure that you have the best wedding day!

---

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.