What to Expect the Day of your Wedding 

A bride and groom seeing their reception space.

I attended a wedding this weekend, as an actual guest. Although I did help the bride with coordinating the ceremony and various aspects of the design and decor process, I was able to sit back and be a guest. Yes, that means that I was able to actually have some time, “off” the clock. As I sat there and talked with bride throughout the day, it hit me. There are a lot of expectations leading up to your wedding day. You have spent countless hours planning your day and your expectations are high. But, out of these expectations, what are hopes and what is reality. Yes, you can try to plan every last detail, but there are some things that may run unexpectedly, or not turn out how you had hoped. There are always things on your wedding day that you may run into, unplanned. As I sat there talking to my bride, as her friend, I found myself reminding her that your wedding will be memorable, no matter what. The most important thing is to enjoy, and ask yourself if you enjoyed your day. So, let’s talk about some real truths on what to expect your wedding day. 

01: Your Guests

Your guests play an important role in your day. You’ve invited your nearest, dearest, or maybe your whole family to your wedding day. We’ve coordinated weddings that host an intimate group of 30, to a party of 500. Whatever your guest count is, don’t let your guests dictate your enjoyment for the day. As time and society changes, expectations and reality of guests have changed. So here are some guest realities: 

  • Guests will not show up. Yes, even though your guest list RSVP’d, there are still  5%-10% of guests that will not attend your day, even with that RSVP. 

  • Guests may be late to your ceremony. Don’t prolong walking down the aisle for hours waiting for 100%. Start your ceremony with at least 80% of your guests. 

  • There will always be risk takers with your seating chart. Some people prefer to sit at other tables, others will pay no mind to the seating chart. Be prepared that your DJ or coordinator will need to remind guests to follow the seating chart. Fact of the matter, sometimes guests will do what they want. 

  • Sometimes the biggest disappointment for a couple is the guests that leave following the wedding reception events. Your guests have ate, watched the cake cut and bouquet toss and they’ve decided it’s their time to go. It is discouraging to see your wedding reception numbers dwindle. But, there are a couple of factors to consider. First, what age group did you mostly invite? Are they folks that are typically in bed by 8PM? Second, if you notice guests are leaving, ask you DJ to switch up the music. Sometimes, your music selection will need to be adjusted to create a more lively atmosphere. Typically, guests spend 3 hours at wedding, from ceremony to reception. It’s hard to not be disappointed when your guests leave, but try to make the most of the guests you have still in attendance and don’t let them stifle your fun. 

02: Gifts

Times have definitely changed with gift giving. Some couples receive everything and more off their registry, while others only receive a few items. There are some important factors to think about when planning your registry that can determine whether your items are fulfilled or not. As you register for items, choose more than one place, for example Target and Amazon. Giving guests the option of where to shop can sometimes help increase your registry numbers. You’re also going to want to think about who you are inviting. Think about your guests budgets, what can they actually afford? Your guests that travel a distance to attend your wedding, may just not have the budget to get you a gift – and that is ok. Add items to your registry that vary in prices. Items can be as low as $5 dollars up to asking for that new Dyson vacuum you want. But, be realistic on what you ask for. You want to include items that are affordable by all. Last, send different reminders, you may want to include a registry card in the invites to remind guests. Sometimes, information can be lost if guests do not look up your wedding website. Don’t rely on the website alone. 

03: The Dreaded Curveball

Things on your wedding day may run according to planned, or let’s face it, they may not. This is where a coordinator really steps up and helps with all of the dreaded curveballs that may come your way on your wedding day. You may need to adjust the timeline, depending on how fast or slow things are running. The wedding I coordinated last week had to be adjusted by a full hour, because things were moving too slow, and we wanted to keep things moving swiftly for guests’ entertainment and delaying any additional wait time. Be prepared to roll with the punches and think quick on your feet with decision making. If a problem does come your way, ask for support, think and execute the best solution and move forward – don’t dwell. 

04: Think Positive Thoughts 

Most importantly, don’t dwell on the little things, and do your best to control any anxiety you may have. Your wedding day is important for one reason only, it is to celebrate the love that you share with your partner. Don’t let the little things bother you or ruin your day. We promise you that no one notices, and everyone is having a fabulous time. The most important thing is that you and your partner are married and that YOU both are having the best time. 

So, as your wedding day approaches, or you’re planning to be a guest for a friend, be sure to keep in mind some of these realities for the couple. Remember to make happy, long lasting memories, and work to decrease the anxiety and stress on your wedding day. 

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Seattle Wedding Planner with over 17 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

Wedding Clean Up Tips 

Many couples forget that there are events and things that need to happen after the wedding reception. Of course, after every successful event, a clean up needs to occur. Recently, we had a couple who’s venue closed at 11PM. They thought, well the last song can be at 10:30PM and then we can clean up and go. I’m pretty positive my eyes got large and it was followed by an absolute no. Cleaning up, as mundane as it seems, actually takes some time. And, trust us, it takes a lot longer than expected. Many venues have different rules regarding clean up, removal of items, and most require a final walk through with the venue or site coordinator to ensure that all their directions were followed. And trust us, they make sure it’s done to a tee. I’ve even been pregnant once, scraping candle wax off the ceremony floors, as the site coordinator watched. At Elegant Affairs, we do all that we can to make sure that your security deposit will be returned and no other charges will be added to your final bill. So, let’s fight risking losing your deposit and let’s talk about how to successfully execute your wedding clean-up. 

01: Learn the Rules 

You should have several walk throughs with your vendor. We highly recommended taking a trusted friend, family member, and your wedding planner to all of your venue walkthroughs. Whoever you bring, bring a thought buddy and someone that can take notes as you ask important questions. No matter what venue you use, read your venue contract more than once. Read it carefully, and ask questions from the on site staff. You will need to double check what is allowed in the venue and what is expected at the end of the night. Some venues don’t allow lit candles or wax, some venues will require that all the trash is removed from the venue site.  Ask questions, read your contract, and learn all of the rules of your venue. You want to plan for all of the details, down to clean-up. 

02: Leave Ample Time 

Cleaning up is not as simple as tossing a few things in the trash and calling it a day. Everything you bring in, must come out. That includes all of your floral wall installations, ceremony decor, table decor, linens (if you’ve rented them), extra food, gifts, and all rental times. We always sit with our clients and discuss all of the items that are being brought in and what exactly needs to be removed and by whom. So label all of your boxes to make clean-up easier, detail it out on your timeline, and understand that cleaning up is a reversal of setting up. Setting up takes hours sometimes, so give yourself ample time to clean up. 

03: Delegate Task and Coordinate 

We cannot stress this enough. Sit down with you coordinator or your wedding party and coordinate who is taking items and delegate tasks. Maybe Aunt Becky will be in charge of taking all of your gifts and your dad will be responsible for returning all of your rental items. Plan how everything will be taken down and transported off site. If you want to go the extra mile, delegate who will return you rentals the next day. Sometimes, your coordinator will be able to return your rentals, so check with them first before delegating this task to a family member or friend. Once all of the clean up assignments have been delegated, record this on your timeline. Everyone has a part in the clean-up and be clear who will be doing what, especially if you and your partner will not be there for clean-up. 

04: Confirm with EVERYONE

The timeline is the best place to confirm all of the moving parts throughout the day. Meet with your wedding party, family, and your coordinator to confirm all of the clean-up expectations. Go over each person’s individual assignments and review with your clean-up team the venue expectations. Have your wedding planner remind those individuals during the reception and know who they are. Because, trust us – when the drinks get flowing, sometimes people forget or end up bailing before the wedding is over. Last, leave someone responsible (other than you) in charge of the clean up responsibility. Typically this is your MOH or your coordinator. Check in with your site coordinator before you leave and have that final walk through. Take pictures of anything you notice during the clean-up and discuss this with your coordinators. You definitely don’t want your bill having any additional charges when it is all said and done. 


If you think you need some help with clean-up and coordination, we definitely suggest hiring a wedding coordinator, even if it’s for the day of. Clean-up can be dreadful, and coordinators work behind the scenes throughout the reception to ensure that clean-up is stress free and work diligently to ensure no damages or dings will occur during the clean-up portion. But, if you’re going to DIY clean-up, be sure to find a trustworthy team, confirm with that team, and delegate all of the tasks. Clean-up requires organization and you need to ensure that you know your venue's expectations and rules inside out. Don’t forget to give yourself more than enough time, because let’s get real a half and hour will not cut it. And if you need more support with not only planning your day, but the clean-up portion, reach out to a member of the Elegant Affairs Team! 

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Seattle Wedding Planner with over 17 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.