Let's Elope!

Elopement – is more than just the quick, courthouse wedding that we’ve seen in the past. Over the years it has emerged into its own category of the wedding industry. Believe it or not, elopement can require the need of a coordinator. We’ve coordinated a few elopements in our past and each hold unique memories and have been unforgettable. More and more couples are opting for elopement. Some couples want an intimate celebration, others don’t want to be the center of attention for the day, and some want to just create a romantic escape. Even though eloping is conducted typically quickly, or without the knowledge of loved ones, there are still motions that need to be set into place to create an unforgettable elopement. 

#01: Create Your Budget

Yes, we’re going to start with our favorite step – the budget creation. Whether your hosting a 500 person affair, or just an intimate ceremony of 5, you must set a budget. Costs will arise no matter how big or small your wedding celebration is. You will need to sit down and talk numbers with your partner and determine what you feel comfortable spending. The largest part of your budget will be determined by what style or type of elopement you will plan on having. 

#02: Pick a Destination 

In the past, elopements traditionally have been at the courthouse. We’ve all heard stories of relatives, grandparents, or seen in movies the couple rushing to the courthouse for their civil ceremony. While many couples still choose to say their vows at the courthouse, more couples are choosing to get married at a specific destination. Now, when we say destination, this can be hiking to a secluded spot on your favorite, or jet setting to your favorite location. Destination elopements have become a large part of our industry. As you think about your destination, select a destination that is within your budget and stays true to who you both are as a couple. Perhaps you’ll want to pick a spot that has sentimental value to you, or plan a trip to a place that you’ve always dreamed of. Research the best location for you and plan accordingly. 

#03: Marriage License and Laws

Running off and celebrating is one thing, but you need to ensure that your marriage is legal wherever you choose to get married. If you are choosing to plan a destination wedding, you will need to research the laws, legal requirements, and any necessary items you may need or follow to tie the knot properly. If you’re getting married stateside, check out the county clerk office or research city hall. Determine how to obtain a marriage license, how early you will need to obtain a license and what your steps are. If you’re looking at doing a destination wedding, check the rules and laws on how to obtain your marriage license. If you are planning on having a friend or loved one marry you, make sure that they have the credentials too. There are many websites where you can legally become an ordained minister. 

#04: Book Vendors and Hire a Planner

Even if you elope, you will still need to think about the details. This includes hiring a photographer, thinking about a celebration or dinner/reception. Consulting with a wedding planner that has experience in coordinating elopements is a great starting place. These coordinators will have experience and advice that a typical planner may not have. They may know of specific photographers that travel or videographers with drones to capture your unique location. Elopements can still be a stressful process, so don’t be afraid or feel like you should be able to handle it solo. 

#05: Consider a Post-Elopement After Party 

Eloping can be such a special moment between two people. There’s something about the intimacy that really makes it unforgettable. Although this moment is private between you and your partner, you can still opt for a reception with your loved ones. Many couples chose to create a combination between an elopement and a reception. Gathering your guests together can still be a surprise or you can create a more intimate reception gathering. Some couples plan an anniversary celebration a year later or choose to host a dinner. Whatever you decide, this is a great option to include those you love in the celebration, but keep your ceremony a true elopement. 

#06: Don’t Forget to Announce

After all is said and done, take a moment to formally announce that you’ve tied the knot. If you’ve booked a photographer, snag one of the photos and create an announcement. Although you didn’t have guests to partake in the affair, they can still enjoy and celebrate this moment in your life. Think about thoughtful ways to announce, whether hosting a dinner party, sending out announcements, or planning an affair. And, before you post your elopement on social media, ensure that the folks in your life that must know find out before it hits socials. 

Eloping offers a unique and truly magical experience. You can create an experience that is truly unique to you and your partner. Whether you take a hike to a remote mountain or plan to get married on the beach, it creates a private moment to celebrate. And just because you eloped, doesn’t mean that you can’t make that big announcement or celebrate with loved ones, because you can. If you’re thinking about taking the jump and planning an elopement, reach out to us today! We would be thrilled to help you plan your getaway! 

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

How to get your Partner to Dive into Wedding Planning

Are you new to the wedding planning journey? If yes – this next blog post is for you. You’ve entered the realm of wedding planning, you’re newly engaged, and ready to dive into planning. But, as you begin to plan, you notice that you may be doing more of the heavy lifting. One of the biggest questions we get asked is how to get your partner excited and ready to dive into planning. Now, we don’t mean just answering “yes” and “no” questions – folks want to know how to encourage their partners to be active participants in the planning process. We’ve done our research and even asked a partner or two… here’s what it takes to get your partner ready and eager to DIVE headfirst into your wedding planning ERA.

#01: Get Moving! 

We asked a former Elegant Affairs Groom, what did it take for you to want to get involved in the wedding planning process. His first response was to physically get out and explore wedding vendors and venues. Sometimes, all your partner needs to envision things in real life, rather than just on the internet. Perhaps, scrolling through websites or viewing your Pinterest board isn’t the way to snag ‘em. Work together to set up venue walk-throughs and vendor appointments at a time that works best for both of you. Physically get out to the location and experience the sights and touches together. You’ll not only create memories, but you’ll be able to choose wedding details together while working hands-on. This groom of ours said that “going out to the venues helped me envision what my fiance was imagining. It helped me get excited for our wedding day and want to become invested in the wedding process.” 

#02: Start with some Food

Get your partner involved in all the fun aspects of planning. This includes encouraging your partner to venture to your tasting sessions. Set up various tastings with your top three caterers and don’t forget about the desserts! Be sure to select a few different dessert options and try them out. You can even make a whole day date adventure out of tasting events! Have fun with it and make some memories. Our groom’s advice is “Don’t let them go on an empty stomach – everything tastes better on an empty stomach.” 

#03: Keep it 50/50

Through the process, it is easy to become overwhelmed with all the details. Some couples may get lost in the process and others may focus too much on the details. Yes, you have your best friends to lean on through the wedding process, but you want to ensure you’re leaning on your partner for each decision made. The decision process for selecting caterers, venues, and vendors should be an equal, 50/50, team decision. You don’t want your partner to feel like the wedding doesn’t reflect them. If you make decisions as a team, your partner is more than apt to become involved and feel involved. At the end of the day, this wedding is a reflection and celebration of you both, as a united front. Creating healthy boundaries and working as an equal team will foster their willingness and excitement to become involved. 

#04: Don’t be Afraid to Delegate

“Sometimes, guys just don’t know where to start. I think when I was told, ‘If you can accomplish xyz, that would be helpful.” Let’s face it, most of us have our Pinterest boards from when we were young. We’ve dreamt of our weddings and our weddings have evolved. So, when we see our partner down on one knee, we kinda already know what direction we want to head. Now, our partners, on the other hand, may not have Pinterest boards or know where to start. Our groom said it was helpful to have a delegation of tasks. Whether it’s managing the budget, or calling the florist, giving your partner a list of tasks that can be accomplished and supporting the team, is beneficial not only for the wedding planning process, but works to get them active in the planning role. Now, it’s important to find a happy medium with delegation, because there is a fine line between barking orders and asking for support. Find that happy spot and work together to determine what tasks your partner feels comfortable and knowledgeable about completing. 

Don’t be afraid to ask for help, especially from your partner, during the wedding planning process. Sometimes your partner may be ready and eager to dive in, others may need a gentle nudge. Don’t be afraid to delegate and decide what tasks will be accomplished and by whom. Start with something fun like food tasting and get your partner out and about with you to explore. Be sure to take the wedding hunt off the internet and try to travel to vendors in person. As always, talk with your partner, lean on your partner, and start this journey together. The wedding planning process is daunting at times but is manageable with a supportive partner. Enjoy the time, make lasting memories, and have fun with the process, because celebrating with your loved ones on your big day will be all worth it! Happy planning!

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

Now what about tipping vendors!

We're diving into the heart of wedding planning today – the often overlooked but oh-so-important topic of tipping your incredible wedding vendors. Think of it as the icing on the cake, the final bow on a perfectly wrapped present – it's your way of saying, "You rocked our world, and we appreciate you!" So, grab your cup of coffee or tea, and let's chat about the art of tipping with style.

Why Tipping Matters: A Love Note to Your Vendors

Your wedding vendors are not just professionals doing a job; they are the architects of your dream day, the unsung heroes behind the scenes making sure everything sparkles with magic. Tipping is more than a gesture; it's a way to express gratitude for their hard work, dedication, and for going above and beyond to make your wedding day absolutely perfect.

The Budget-Friendly Reminder

First things first – let's talk budget. When you're meticulously planning every penny, it's crucial to factor in gratuities for your wedding vendors. Consider it an investment in ensuring everyone on your dream team feels the love and appreciation they deserve.

How to Incorporate Tipping into Your Budget:

1. Include a Tipping Category: When creating your wedding budget, set aside a specific percentage for gratuities. This ensures that expressing your gratitude is a planned and joyful part of the process.

2. Allocate Based on Service: Consider the level of service provided by each vendor. Those who go the extra mile might deserve a little extra love.

3. Anticipate Last-Minute Adjustments: Keep a small buffer for unexpected surprises or vendors who exceed your expectations. A little extra tip can go a long way in showing your appreciation.

The Art of Tipping: Who, When, and How Much?

Now, let's break it down. Who gets a tip, when should you tip, and how much is just right? It's a bit like a dance, but don't worry – we've got the perfect steps for you.

1. The Who (but not limited to just these vendors):

• Catering and Bar Staff: 15-20% of the total bill is the sweet spot for these unsung heroes. Most often the gratuity is included in your final bill so always double-check and make sure how they distribute the tips to the team at your wedding.

• Photographer/Videographer: A good amount is $200-$500, but that depends on whether you hired an associate photographer or if you had the owner of the company.

• Hair and Makeup Artists: 15-20% of the total bill, just like a salon visit.

• Florist: A flat fee of $10-$500 for their bloomin' beautiful work.

• Entertainment (DJ/Band): $50-$100 per member.

• Wedding Planner: This is the hardest area for us since we are talking directly to our clients about this. Its great to tip your wedding planner and their team member(s). Typically its $200-$500 for the wedding planner and $50-$100 per team member.

2. The When:

Timing is everything. We recommend placing your cash tips in sealed envelopes, ready for distribution, during the rehearsal, or when we arrive onsite on the wedding day. This ensures a smooth and stress-free process, allowing you to focus on the love and excitement of the day.

3. The How Much:

Remember, these are just guidelines. If a vendor has gone above and beyond, feel free to adjust accordingly. Tipping is about recognizing exceptional effort and making sure your gratitude is felt.

The Envelope Exchange: Spreading the Love

As your trusty wedding planner, we've got a little secret to share – the magic of the envelope exchange. Handing out tips can be a logistical challenge on your big day, so we've got you covered. Simply seal your cash tips in labeled envelopes during the rehearsal or before the wedding day. Hand them over to us, and we'll ensure each vendor gets their well-deserved token of appreciation after they've given their all to make your day perfect.

Spread the Joy!

In the end, tipping is not just a transaction – it's a beautiful way to spread joy, show gratitude, and ensure that your wedding vendors know their hard work has been noticed and cherished. Show the love, spread the joy, and let your wedding day be a symphony of appreciation and unforgettable moments. 💖✨

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.