Steps After you say I Do

You’ve made it down the aisle. You can finally take a deep breath. You’re HERE and the wedding is beautiful. You and your partner say your vows and you seal your ceremony with a kiss. We always tell our couples the part that matters is making it down the aisle and saying “I do.” But, there are some very important details that you have to do after your ceremony. So, let’s break apart all of the tasks you’ll need to accomplish after the ceremony wraps. 

Don’t Forget to Sign on the Dotted Line 

As you work to create your day of timeline, create a moment, it can be between 10 - 20 minutes, where you can sit down with your officiant, pastor etc., and your witnesses to sign your marriage license. We highly suggest that this is done directly after your ceremony. Out of everything on your wedding day, this is the most important part – so be intentional with planning it out!. There are two different copies. One copy is yours to keep. This is the fancy copy that can be for your records. The most important copy is the official document for the state. Fill all the important information out prior, or ask your pastor or officiant to. You don’t want to miss any information or forget to fill out portions. Create a plan and stick to it and ensure that the people who need to be a part of the signing know ahead of time. The last thing you want to do is scramble to find all of these important people! 

Who Sends it in? 

This is another detail that needs to be planned out. Most likely, your officiant or pastor will handle sending in your marriage license. Prior to saying “I do”, determine who will handle mailing your marriage license. Be sure you have the envelope on the wedding day and that a responsible person is in charge of it! Check with your person and ensure that it is sent off in a timely manner. If you get married on a Saturday, plan on sending it off on a Monday. Get it off your hands as soon as you can! 

Check it, once or twice! 

We HIGHLY suggest your check with the office or courthouse if your marriage license made it there. In all of our years, we’ve had one couple that never mailed it off, and one that mailed it off but it was lost in the mail. They spent years unmarried because their license was lost and never filed. Do not let this happen to you! Call the courthouse after a few weeks and check on the status. Stay diligent and check back if they haven’t received it. 

Set a Time to Open Gifts

Don’t feel like you have to open your wedding guests the next day. It is okay to take a day to decompress and enjoy your loved ones. Once your wedding guests have returned home and your life has settled and is calm, open your gifts and cards. You will need to keep track of senders and gifts and get those thank you cards out within 6-8 weeks. Don’t skimp on the thank you cards and don’t send cards that aren’t personalized. We suggest your take time to thank your guests personally, including a personalized thank you card or poster. Stay clear of mass facebook thank yous, or generic thank you cards. The last thing you want your guests to feel is a lack of graciousness. 

Return all Rentals 

Even though your wedding day is over, there is still a need to wrap up all loose ends. One of the biggests tasks is returning all of your rentals! Now, if you have a wedding coordinator, some of these tasks may be assigned to their team. But, if you’ve rented table decor, speciality linens etc., return them on the next business day. You definitely do not want any of the rentals damaged, or have an unexpected accident occur. It’s best to get these off your hands as soon as you can. If you assigned this task to a friend or family member, ask them to let you know once it’s been returned. You’ll want to manage all of the rental returns to ensure there are no additional fees incurred. 

Often our couples say after they walk down the aisle, all of the stressors of wedding planning fades away. This is one of the biggest events, or most meaningful events, couples plan in their lifetime. Even though the doors close on the night of your wedding, there are still important tasks to complete when it’s all said and done. Don’t forget to sign and send in your marriage license, and keep checking on that document once it’s been sent in! Plan on returning any rentals the next business day and sending out those thank you cards. But, most importantly enjoy this new adventure with your partner and tackle these tasks TOGETHER! 

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Seattle Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

Writing Your Own Vows – Yes or No?

There are definitely mixed reviews on writing your own vows. We see a mix of couples who prefer to stick to more traditional nuptials or tailor their own vows. But, let’s face it… personal vows are not everyone’s cup of tea. For some, it’s too personal, or couples may experience writers block. When we think about what makes a wedding, a wedding, it is the ceremony. And if we take it a step further, it is your vows and the words that are exchanged that really seal the deal and make it a wedding. Yes, the catering, food, decor, and cake are all a reason to celebrate, but without your vows – you can’t be married!

How do you decide if you go with personal vows, or opt for something more traditional? We always tell our clients that it depends on your level of comfort and what you prefer. Afterall, this is your wedding day!

If you’re leaning towards writing your own vows, ask yourself how you feel like writing. Writing your own vows is a personal experience. Some couples write about anecdotes, or their favorite memories. Other couples choose to keep it short and sweet. If you’re more of a creative soul, writing your own vows may be a perfect option for you. It’s a way to express your own words and thoughts and you can create an intimate vibe. Sometimes, traditional vows can seem cold. Writing your own vows are the perfect way to express your creative side, while expressing your love to your soon to be spouse! You don’t have to write a novel, or be an A+ writer. You just have to express your feelings, and well – follow the writing process. 

Getting through your writers block is one hurdle. But, if you’re seriously considering writing your own vows, you have to be vulnerable to read your words, out loud to your guests. If you are not a public speaker, or you don’t like reading your words aloud, writing your own vows may not be for you. Writing is one thing, but reading your writing can be a whole new element for many. If you feel leary about reading your raw emotions out loud, you may want to opt for traditional, or non-traditional pre-written vows for your ceremony. You can always personalize pre-written vows to make it fit you and your “wants” for your vows. At the end of the day, you want to ensure that you are comfortable with reading whatever vows you choose in front of an audience. And folks, practice makes perfect!

Ultimately, writing your own vows takes time. If you’re planning your wedding, working full time, or even taking care of little ones – be realistic on what you can accomplish. You definitely want to make sure that your vows have ample time to develop, edit and revise. Not many people can write eloquent things on the fly (or prove us wrong). So, you’ll want to dedicate time prior to the wedding day to block out your ideas on what you want to say then edit, edit, edit! You definitely DO NOT want to cram in a last minute writing session. We’re not back in finals week during college folks! Avoid backing yourself into a last minute situation. If you want to write your own vows, be sure to have some back ups just incase time isn’t your friend. 

Unfortunately, writing your vows has to be an agreement between you and your partner. It doesn’t look or sound cohesive if one partner writes their own vows and the other chooses to go the traditional route. So before you take the plunge writing your masterpiece, talk to your partner and make the decision together. If one wants to write vows, the other must too. This is one piece of the wedding where both parties have to make the same decision. If one is hesitate, choose pre-written vows and add some of your own sparkle. Revise and add some of your own personal touches. If you’re writing your own vows, check your time limits during practice. You don’t want one to be 5 minutes, while the other is 30 seconds. In addition, compromise on the vibe you want to create. Will your vows be light hearted? Will they be comical or full of memories? Whatever you choose, don’t embarrass or share intimate details about your partner that would make them feel uncomfortable. You may need to allow a friend, or a member of the wedding party to give your vows the stamp of approval. 

If you choose to write your own vows, talk to your partner about it first. Remember that this is something you both must be in agreement on. One can’t write their vows and the other use traditional vows. You must both be on the same page and in sync. When writing your vows, stick to the same time limit and theme. Ensure that you don’t share too much intimate or delicate information from your relationship and that whatever you write you feel comfortable reading to family, friends, and even some strangers. Give yourself ample time to write, edit, and revise… absolutely do not wait until the morning to write your vows! Most importantly, add your creative sparkle and make it from the heart. Your partner will love and cherish these vows – so make it your own! 

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Seattle Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

Calling all Summer Brides – the Ultimate May Challenge!

Are you a summer 2024 bride? First and foremost, congratulations on your upcoming nuptials. Whether you’re a June, July or August bride, your big day is quickly approaching and we are here for it! You’ve probably already checked off your big items (or so we hope..). This means your vendors are selected, your reception and caterer are good to go, and now it’s time to sort all some minor details. So, let’s dive in and talk about your May checklist challenge! I mean, we love a good challenge. Tackle on things each week this month and you will be sure to be ready for your summer wedding! So, get your calendars out – our turn on your printer, because you’re going to want to dive into this month’s challenge!

Week 1: 

If you haven’t already scheduled your hair and make-up trial, go ahead and schedule it. You want to ensure that you schedule it at a time of day where you can put your makeup to full use. We suggest scheduling it at the time, or near the time, you’d get ready on the day of! Bring all your accessories, including your veil, earrings, and whatever else you have personally selected. 

Week 2: 

It is time. It is time to sit down with your partner and write your wedding vows. Now, writing your vows may consist of going with a traditional route, or using a little copy and paste to make it happen. But it’s best to knock these out prior to your wedding day. You can make it a fun at-home date night, or write your vows somewhere scenic. I mean, might as well create some memories while tackling this week! 

Week 3: 

This week is all about music and fun! Bust out the boom box, okay – maybe just your Amazon music app, and start selecting your music for your DJ or live band! As you create your perfect set list, be sure to select and take notes of the following songs: 

• Processional 

• Bride/Groom Entrance

• Recessional 

• Entrance to Reception 

• Mother/Groom Dance

• Father/Daughter Dance

• First Dance

• Cake Cut

• Last Dance

You’ll also want to develop a list of DO NOTs. Think about what songs you don’t want played at your wedding, or include genres that you don’t want to hear. 

Week 4: 

Head to your beauty store and grab items you need to replenish or find your beauty regimen! A good rule of thumb is you don’t want to start any new skin care routines prior to your wedding. You want to continue your beauty regimen, and not stray too far. Now is not the time to get a chemical peel or try a beauty product that you are unsure of. Don’t cut your hair without consulting your wedding hair stylist, and don’t make any last minute beauty decisions. Make your appointment if you choose to get your lashes done or teeth whitened. We recommended getting all these things a few weeks prior to make sure you’re happy with the outcome before your wedding day. 

So, print this out, mark your calendars or your planners and tackle these items this month. We find that like any task or event, it’s best to organize your needs and prepare for them. This month is all about getting your pre-wedding beauty nailed down and finalizing your vows and wedding song list. Most importantly, these can all be fun events. Don’t stress about them, enjoy time with your partner or loved ones and make the most of this time! Stay tuned for next month, for more items to check off your list! Remember - YOU’VE GOT THIS!

For our organized guys or gals – print this freebie below!

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.