How to Make the Most of Your Private Wedding Day Moments

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How to Make the Most of Your Private Wedding Day Moments

Your wedding day will be one of the most joyful, emotional, and fast-paced days of your life. With so many moving pieces — from getting ready and taking photos to the ceremony, reception, and everything in between — it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement and forget to pause. That’s why intentionally creating private moments throughout the day is not only important — it’s essential.

These moments give you the chance to breathe, connect, and be fully present with your partner, allowing you to slow down and soak it all in. Here's how to make the most of your private wedding day moments and turn them into some of the most memorable parts of your celebration.

#01: Start the Day with a Centering Ritual 

Before the whirlwind begins, give yourself a moment of calm. Whether it’s meditating, journaling, sipping coffee alone, or simply listening to your favorite music while getting ready, this time sets the tone for your day. It’s a chance to ground yourself emotionally and mentally before stepping into the spotlight. 

#02: Plan a First Look or First Touch 

A first look is one of the most meaningful ways to share a quiet moment with your partner before the ceremony. It allows you to connect, ease nerves, and express your emotions in an intimate setting without all eyes on you. It also makes for beautiful, authentic photos.

If you prefer to wait until the ceremony to see each other, consider a “first touch” instead,  stand on either side of a door or wall, hold hands, and exchange a few words or a letter without peeking. You can even use this idea to exchange a small gift of private vows. 

#03: Write and Exchange Love Letters

Taking the time to write heartfelt letters to each other can be incredibly grounding and emotional. Exchange them while getting ready or during a private moment before the ceremony. Reading your partner’s words, their hopes, promises, and love - brings a sense of intimacy and presence that no schedule can replicate.

Some couples choose to read their letters out loud to each other; others prefer to keep it private. Either way, this quiet exchange can be one of the day’s most treasured memories.

#04: Steal Time after the Ceremony 

One of the best-kept secrets to creating a memorable wedding day? Schedule 10–15 minutes alone with your partner immediately after the ceremony. No guests, no photographers, no planners — just the two of you basking in the just-married glow.

This is often the first moment you get to truly exhale and take in the significance of what just happened. It’s raw, emotional, and grounding — a space to say “we did it” and revel in the joy before diving into the reception. We highly suggest you ask your planner or coordinator to build this time into your general wedding day timeline and ensure you have privacy. 

#05: Enjoy a Private Dinner or Toast 

Receptions can be busy and social, with guests vying for your attention. To carve out a moment just for you two, consider enjoying a private dinner or toast in a separate room before joining the party. This short break lets you fuel up, connect, and savor your first meal as newlyweds. It also gives you a chance to talk, laugh, and check in with each other without interruptions. We love the idea of sneaking away during dinner to snag some intimate photos with golden hour light. 

#06: Take a Nighttime Stroll Together 

As the evening winds down, take a few minutes to step outside and walk hand-in-hand under the stars or twinkling venue lights. This final moment of stillness offers a sense of closure, peace, and perspective before the night ends. It’s also the perfect time to reflect on the day, exchange impressions, and quietly soak in everything you’ve experienced. You can also end the night with a private last dance before guests exit or during the venue breakdown. Many couples say this was one of their favorite moments.

#07: Honor Loved Ones in a Private Way

If you’re remembering a lost loved one on your wedding day, create a personal, private ritual. Light a candle together, visit a memory table, or quietly say a few words or prayers before the ceremony. This gives you a chance to honor them intimately and emotionally, away from the crowd, and acknowledge the impact they’ve had on your journey.

#08: Trust your Team and Let Go

One of the biggest challenges in making space for private moments is feeling like you need to be “on” all day. The truth is, you don’t. Trust your planner, vendors, and bridal party to handle the logistics while you stay present in your experience. Having a great team means you can let go of micromanaging and instead focus on soaking in every look, touch, word, and feeling.

#09: Make Time to Connect

Yes, even a short kiss, laugh, or shared look across the room can be a moment. It’s easy to get separated during the reception as you mingle with guests, but check in with each other regularly. Hold hands, sneak kisses, and don’t be afraid to pause the party to connect. These small, unscripted touches remind you that this day is, above all else, about the two of you.

#10: Capture the Quiet Moments 

Talk to your photographer or videographer about your desire to document the quiet, emotional parts of the day — the unscripted hugs, the teary-eyed smiles, the glances when no one else is watching. You’ll be grateful to have these subtle moments captured alongside the big ones. They add depth and authenticity to your wedding story.

Your wedding day is a celebration of love — not just the public, festive parts, but the deeply personal, tender ones too. Making the most of your private moments doesn’t require a lot of time, but it does require intention. These pauses, these quiet spaces in between the chaos, will become the memories that you hold onto the longest.

So while the flowers, the food, and the dancing are important, make room for the soft, silent beats in between. Those are the moments that truly last a lifetime.

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

20 Years of Elegant Affairs: A Love Story of Weddings, Family, and Big Dreams

From Newspaper Deadlines to Wedding Day Timelines

Twenty years ago, I traded my press pass for a bridal emergency kit.

At the time, I had just left my job as a newspaper reporter to stay home with my then 6-month-old son—who, somehow, is now a junior in college. (Don’t ask me how that happened. Time has a way of sneaking past us in the most beautiful way.)

What started as a fun summer weekend job—helping a friend with weddings and events—turned into something bigger than I ever could’ve dreamed. That “just for fun” gig became the foundation for what is now Elegant Affairs, and 20 years later, I’m still in awe of the journey.

A Business Built on Love, Chaos, and Champagne-Fueled Checklists

This business grew one love story at a time. Every couple, every vendor, every perfectly imperfect wedding day added to the heart of what we do. From rustic barns to luxe ballrooms, we’ve planned weddings in just about every kind of venue, each one unique and beautiful in its own way.

Here’s a quick look at what we’ve built together:

• 376 weddings and events
• Hundreds of incredible vendor partnerships
• Thousands of timelines, to-do lists, happy tears, and perfectly fluffed veils
• And a lifetime’s worth of stories, memories, and joyful moments

We’ve learned to pivot, to adapt, to laugh when the flower girl decides to nap mid-aisle, and to breathe deeply when the weather doesn’t follow the plan. And through it all, we’ve loved every minute.

Thank You to the People Behind the Magic

This milestone isn’t just about Elegant Affairs. It’s about the people who helped build it.

To my family: You’ve been there from day one. You’ve cheered me on through 2 a.m. breakdowns, endless event weekends, and deadlines that rivaled my old newsroom days. Oh, and I could never forget a Global Pandemic. You’ve helped load cars, organize rentals, and you’ve given me the space to dream big. I couldn’t have done this without you.

To every team member who’s worked for Elegant Affairs over the years: You’ve shown up with energy, grace, and the kind of hustle that makes weddings run smoothly. You’ve been the calm in the chaos, the voice of reason when things got hectic, and the heart behind the scenes. Thank you for showing up with everything you had.

To our amazing vendor partners: You are the reason wedding days come to life. Your talent, reliability, and dedication make what we do possible. You’ve been with us in the rain, the heat, the wind, and the occasional power outage. We’ve seen it all together, and I’m so grateful for every floral designer, photographer, caterer, DJ, rental rep, and creative pro we’ve worked alongside.

To our 376 clients: Thank you for trusting us with your most important days. Thank you for letting us into your families and your lives. Thank you for the kind words, the glowing reviews, the hugs, and the referrals. We’ve planned weddings, anniversaries, showers, and events for some of you, and each one has meant something to us. Your joy is the reason we do what we do.

The Social Attendant: Our Sister Story

In addition to Elegant Affairs, I had another dream growing. Over the years, I found myself drawn to helping other wedding professionals. I was mentoring new planners, helping vendors create workflows, and sharing social media and client tips without even thinking about it.

Eventually, that quiet little idea evolved into The Social Attendant, our sister brand designed to support wedding creatives.

Through TSA, I get to work with planners, florists, photographers, and boutique owners. We talk about strategy, content creation, automation, and how to grow a business without losing your mind. The goal is simple. Help wedding pros build businesses that feel good and actually work for them.

So yes, the girl who once left journalism to plan a few weddings on the side now runs two companies. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

What I’ve Learned After 20 Years in the Wedding Industry

Let’s just say the lessons have been endless. But here are a few that stand out:

1. No wedding ever goes exactly as planned, and that’s okay.
Rainstorms, wardrobe malfunctions, and missing flower girls are part of the job. What matters is how we respond.

2. The best weddings are personal.
Your wedding should feel like you, not a Pinterest replica. Skip what doesn’t feel right and lean into what does.

3. The guest list affects everything.
From your budget to your layout, the size of your wedding plays a big role. Be intentional about who gets a seat.

4. Your vendor team matters more than you think.
Working with professionals who care makes all the difference. They bring calm, expertise, and a level of service that elevates your experience.

5. It's the quiet moments you remember most.
A first look. A parent’s reaction. A last dance. Those are the memories that stay with you.

What’s Next for Elegant Affairs?

We’re still planning full-service weddings in the Pacific Northwest. We’re still creating timelines, calming nerves, and bringing dream days to life. And now, we’re also offering wedding day content creation, for couples who want a full gallery of behind-the-scenes magic captured on their iPhones within 24 hours.

We’re continuing to grow The Social Attendant. We’re coaching new wedding pros, creating content bundles, and helping others find their voice in a busy industry.

Most of all, we’re focused on keeping things personal, beautiful, and rooted in what matters most. Love, connection, and celebration.

To Everyone Who’s Been Part of Our Story

Thank you. Thank you for believing in this business. Thank you for being part of our journey. Thank you for showing up for us, for cheering us on, and for trusting us with your most treasured memories.

We’ve been lucky enough to celebrate with hundreds of clients. And now, we get to celebrate this milestone with you.

Here’s to the past 20 years. And here’s to whatever’s next.

With a full heart,
Lori

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

Our Favorite Ways to Make Your Wedding Flowers Truly Unforgettable

As you begin to plan your wedding, there are a few elements that can make a large visual impact and resonate with you and your guests. From the moment your guests arrive to the last dance of the evening, your floral choices set the tone of your wedding day. They can tell your love story without saying a single word. Just one little bloom or a collection of florals can be truly unforgettable. Whether you’re dreaming of an opulent ballroom filled with cascading crisp, white arrangements or a cozy garden wedding with handpicked wildflowers, there are countless ways to ensure your wedding flowers are not just beautiful – but unforgettable storytellers. Here are our favorite ideas to elevate your wedding florals into lasting, breathtaking memories. 

#01: Choose a Meaningful Palette 

Your wedding is YOUR story to tell. While choosing colors based on your based your overall theme or season can often be the default standard in wedding planning, take it just a step further. Infuse personal meaning into your floral selection. We love to see the incorporation of loved one’s favorite flowers – or a soft blush that reminds you of your grandmother. Personal touches like these turn a beautiful bouquet into something meaningful. This season, we have seen a lot of unexpected colors and we’re here to say don’t be afraid of it. Contrasting colors, such as moody burgundy with pale beach, or chartreuse green with a soft lavender add depth and dimension to your floral color palette. 

#02: Feature Seasonal and Locally Sourced Blooms 

Here in the Pacific Northwest, we are BIG fans of locally sourced blooms. I cannot tell you how many weddings we’ve sourced wedding florals from Pike’s Place Market or a local farmer’s dahlia farm. There is something truly incredibly special about using flowers that are in season and grown close to home. Not only is this a more sustainable and often budget friendly option, but it also adds a layer of authenticity to you day. Seasonal flowers are at their peak of beauty and are often more fragrant and vibrant. We highly recommend collaborating with a local flower farm or boutique florist. You will be able to explore flower varieties that you won’t find in a mass produced arrangement.

#03: Create a Floral Moment 

While floral arrangements are expected on tables and in bouquets, what really takes your wedding flowers to the next level is a show-stopping installation. The floral arches, suspended flower clouds, or a blooming aisle runner. These are some of our favorite, unforgettable floral moments. 

• A ceremony arch dripping with blooms and greenery 

• A flower wall backdrop for your ceremony space or sweetheart table 

• Hanging floral chandeliers above your reception tables 

These installations truly create a floral moment that will create not only picture perfect moments, but immersive experiences for your guests. 

#04: Mix Fresh and Dried Flowers

You do not just have to stick with one. It is possible to blend fresh and dried elements. Mixing the two is a trend that will add both texture and longevity to your flower arrangements. Dried florals like pampas grass, preserved roses, or bunny tails, can add a boho or vintage vibe, while your selection of fresh blooms will keep things lively and romantic. This approach also allows you to preserve parts of your bouquet or centerpieces long after the wedding is over. 

#05: Incorporate Personal Keepsakes 

One of the most emotional and intimate ways to customize your wedding florals is by integrating keepsakes. Attach a small charm of a loved one, or a decorative pin to your bouquet handle. You can also include a piece of heirloom lace, or wrap the stems in fabric from your mother’s wedding dress. These are subtle, yet powerful inclusions that add sentimental layers throughout your wedding day. 

#06: Think Beyond the Vase

Did you know there are other options for table scapes beyond the traditional vase? We love the idea of challenging traditional concepts by displaying flowers in unexpected ways. For example, you can use floral garlands to frame you seating chart and escort table. You can also fill antique drawers, suitcases, or crates with cascading florals for a rustic charm. Incorporating flowers in lanterns or terrariums is a fun and affordable way to spice up your guests tables. Florals can be anywhere – chairs, staircases, signage, your wedding aisle etc. There are so many creative touches to surprise your guests and elevate the design of your wedding space. 

#07: Make the Bouquet a Statement Piece 

Your bridal bouquet should be more than just a beautiful accessory. It’s a personal statement. Work with your florist to create something that reflects your personality and style. Oversized and asymmetrical bouquets make a dramatic impact, while petite and sculptural arrangements feel modern and refined.

#08: Personalize the Bridesmaids’  Bouquets

Don’t settle for identical bouquets across your bridal party. Instead, personalize each with different flowers or colors that reflect each bridesmaid’s personality or role in your life. This idea works especially well in boho or garden-style weddings where a mismatched look is encouraged. Not only does this add variety to your photos, but it also makes each member of your bridal party feel seen and appreciated.

#09: Let the Flowers Tell a Story 

Consider using florals to represent the stages of your love story. Use symbolic blooms to tell a story of how you met, your first trip together, or your engagement. A few, simple examples are: 

• Lavender to represent calm and peace during hard times 

• Gardenias to represent your love 

• Daisies to give a nod to your new beginning 

• Peonies for romance and prosperity 

Include these floral meanings in your wedding program, or signage around your wedding ceremony or reception. This will add an emotional layer for not only you, but your guests. 

#10: Give Flowers a Second Life 

Make your flowers last beyond the big day. Partner with a local organization to donate arrangements to hospitals or nursing homes. Or, let guests take centerpieces home as favors — a gift they’ll surely appreciate.

Another beautiful option is to preserve your bouquet. Pressed or resin-preserved flowers can become stunning keepsakes like wall art, jewelry, or ornaments.

#11: Use Flowers to Set the Mood with Scent 

Scent is a powerful memory trigger. Flowers like gardenias, jasmine, roses, and freesia can create an immersive sensory experience. By incorporating fragrant flowers into your ceremony and reception areas, you create an atmosphere that guests will remember long after the event.

For even more effect, consider creating a custom candle or essential oil blend with your wedding flower scents to use as guest favors.

Your wedding flowers should do more than fill a space — they should tell your love story, spark emotion, and stay etched in the memories of everyone who experiences them. By thinking creatively and personally about your floral choices, you can transform tradition into something deeply meaningful and unforgettable.

Whether you go grand or intimate, colorful or minimalist, remember: when flowers are designed with love and intention, they bloom forever in the hearts of those who witness them.

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.