Let’s face it, weddings can be stressful. Not only are planning weddings stressful, all of the anticipation builds up to the final day – your wedding day. Yes, wedding days are probably one of the happiest days of your life, but it can also bring forth anticipated and unwanted feelings. If you’d ask our couples, they’d tell you that their wedding was filled with happiness, stress, and joy. Now, we’ve been to our fair share of weddings and worked with hundreds of couples and experienced our share of stress. During our final meeting, we always discuss with our couples any unexpected things that may occur to ensure that the day runs smoothly (as much as possible!). So let’s talk about stress and how to handle stressors when it comes (hopefully not) on your wedding day!
01: Live and Breathe your Timeline!
Your timeline is your holy grail for the wedding day. We work with our couples to create a detailed timeline featuring not only the ceremony and reception events, but even the getting ready and the clean up portion of the day. Creating and referring to the timeline will help ease stress and make sure that everyone knows where they should be and what they should be doing at all times. Now, yes all the nitty gritty details are important, but be sure to only include things that people, such as your wedding party and vendors must know. Have your coordinator make copies of your timeline and post these babies everywhere! Give a timeline to each of your vendors and post one in each of the getting ready rooms. You can even create a timeline with your photographer! Share this with your coordinator so they can help find all the right people, at the right times. Most importantly, the timeline will help deter any unwanted or unnecessary questions like, “What time do we have to be ready?”. Refer to the timeline folks!
02: Refer a Friend!
It’s your big day and as much as you want to relax, people are going to try to ask you questions every step of the way. One of the biggest ways to reduce stress is to create a plan of communication between your family, vendors, and wedding party. Utilize your wedding party and your coordinator. Ensure that someone, other than you, has contact with all of your vendors and maid of honor or best man. You definitely don’t want to be the middleman or traveling back and forth trying to solve communication issues. On your timeline, add a list of important numbers such as key people and your vendors. Make it known with your family and friends that if any questions arise, please ask those people. Also, don’t be afraid to give some people a polite “boot” if you need your space. Feeling overwhelmed with the revolving door in your getting ready suite? Ask your coordinator or MOH to help. Limit the stress as much as you can by being vocal about your wants and needs. Today is not a day to appease.
03: Get that Final Fitting!
We cannot stress this enough! Double check with all of your wedding party and make sure that everyone’s garments are set for the wedding day. You do not want any garments not fit, or missing a clasp, the morning of. Yes, if an emergency happens, your coordinator will hopefully have an emergency kit (we always do!), but have everyone sent you a picture of their fit a week or two prior to the wedding. You can handle any last minute alterations then. And, if you’re a bride that chose the bustle route– practice that bustle! Depending on the style of bustle, bustling your wedding gown can take some serious time. Take someone you trust, whether your MOH, mother, or coordinator to your last fitting. Have the tailor show them where the clasps are, make sure they are marked clearly, or that your team of helpers are able to find them. Then, practice! Sometimes, there can be several eye hooks or clasps to create the desired bustle effect. Not knowing how to bustle can create panic and take up precious time prior to the reception. So, double check fittings and practice that bustle!
04: Let’s Talk Legal Docs!
You’ve probably received your marriage license prior to the wedding and have kept it in the envelope. Well, open the envelope and have someone help you fill it out! Whether you ask for your pastor’s help, your coordinator, or your friend who has fancy handwriting, fill out the sections that you can. Typically couples sign their marriage license directly after the ceremony. Have your witnesses preplanned and add this to the timeline so everyone knows where to go. Fill out as much information as you can, including the ceremonial document. Many counties give a “pretty” version of your marriage certificate. Also, discuss who will be mailing or delivering the official marriage document. You don’t want to forget to mail it, trust us – we’ve had a few couples do this. You want to make sure that your wedding is legal, so give it to someone trustworthy to mail, such as your pastor, officiant, or wedding coordinator.
05: Trial Run!
You’re going to need to do a lot of different trial runs leading up to the big day. First, you want to make sure you hold trial runs for your bridal hair and makeup. Create a close relationship with your makeup artist and hair stylist. It is absolutely okay to ask for a second, or even a third trial. Don’t be afraid to speak up. You want to feel confident on your wedding day, so practice makes perfect! Also, don’t skip the wedding rehearsal. Some couples opt to do a formal wedding rehearsal the day prior, but if you’re cramped for time and want to save, you can always opt to run through the ceremony on the wedding day. You want to ensure that timing is right, songs are correct, and that your wedding party knows who to walk with and when to walk with. Find time prior to the actual ceremony to host a trial run. This will help decrease stress (and we mean for everyone).
These are just some of our quick tips that can help reduce stress on your wedding day. Now, there are obviously lots of ways you can prepare for the unexpected and it’s important to talk to your wedding coordinator about this. But, if you follow these simple tips, we promise that you’ll see far less anxiety and stress on your wedding day. So, live by your timeline, set healthy boundaries for communication on the wedding day, have your legal documents in order, don’t forget trial runs and make sure everyone’s wedding fits are set and ready to go!
Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Seattle Wedding Planner with over 17 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.