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Why a First Look (with Your Partner or Parents!) Might Be Right for You
Weddings are full of unforgettable moments, walking down the aisle, saying "I do," and the first dance. But one that’s become increasingly popular (and emotional) is the first look. While some couples still hold to the tradition of seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony, many are embracing the magic of a planned, private reveal before the vows.
But did you know that first looks aren’t just for you and your partner? They can also be shared with parents, grandparents, or even your bridal party. Whether you're a traditionalist or looking for an intimate moment before the celebration begins, here's why a first look might be the perfect choice for your big day.
Let’s start with the basics. What is a first look? A first look is a private (or semi-private) moment scheduled before the ceremony, where the couple sees each other for the first time in their wedding attire. Typically captured by a photographer or videographer, it’s a chance to connect, take in the moment, and calm the pre-ceremony jitters.
While traditionally done with your partner, first looks can also involve a parent, sibling, or anyone close to your heart. The goal? To slow down and share an emotional, meaningful experience in the midst of a very fast-paced day.
There are several reasons why to consider a first look with your partner. These are our top:
#01: Calm the Nerves
Weddings can feel like a whirlwind of activity — hair, makeup, dresses, suits, timelines, emotions. A first look allows you to pause and breathe. Seeing your partner before the ceremony can ease anxiety and bring a sense of calm that carries you through the rest of the day.
#02: A Truly Private Moment
The ceremony is beautiful, but it’s public. A first look gives you a chance to react freely — to cry, laugh, hug, kiss, talk — without hundreds of eyes watching. It’s a quiet, intimate experience shared just between the two of you.
#03: More Time Together
Let’s be honest, wedding days fly by. Doing a first look adds meaningful minutes (or hours) to the time you get to spend together on your wedding day. And isn’t that what it’s all about?
#04: Better Photo Opportunities
A first look opens the door to taking more photos earlier in the day. That means bridal party portraits, couple shots, and even some family pictures can be done before the ceremony — giving you more time to enjoy the cocktail hour and reception with your guests.
#05: Authentic Emotions
Some worry that a first look will “take away” from the emotional moment of walking down the aisle. In reality, it often enhances it. Couples who’ve shared a first look say they felt more present and grounded during the ceremony because their nerves were already calmed and their connection reaffirmed.
Weddings are full of big emotions, not just for the couple, but for their families too. For many parents, seeing their child dressed for their wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime moment. A first look with a parent (or grandparent) creates a beautiful opportunity to honor that relationship. First looks can be an emotional keepsake. On a personal level, I did a first look with my father after I was dressed. That was one of my favorite moments and I am so glad that it happened and we were able to capture it on film. Capturing the exact moment your mom sees you in your gown, or your dad holds back tears seeing you in a tux, creates some of the most heartfelt photos of the day. These images are timeless and full of genuine love. It is also an opportunity to say thank you to your parents. If your parents have played a significant role in your life or your wedding planning, a first look is a beautiful way to thank them. It shows you value their role in your journey and want them to be a special part of your milestone.
Don’t stop with your partner or parents! First looks with bridesmaids, groomsmen, or siblings are becoming increasingly popular, and for good reason!
Are you on the fence about breaking tradition? It’s totally okay to feel conflicted. The idea of seeing each other for the first time walking down the aisle is steeped in tradition and drama — and for some couples, it’s the moment they’ve dreamed about for years.
If you love the idea of keeping that surprise for the ceremony, you can still have private moments that don’t involve a full reveal. You can consider a first touch, where you are behind a door or curtain, where you can hold hands and pray or share private vows. You can write letters and exchange with each other as well. These are simple, one-to-one connections that you can create without altering the ceremony timeline.
A first look, whether with your partner, parents, or bridal party is about more than just the photos. It’s about creating space in your wedding day for connection, reflection, and real emotion. It allows you to honor the relationships that have shaped your life and to breathe in the beauty of the moment before the day picks up speed. If you're looking for a way to make your wedding day feel even more personal and unforgettable, a first look might just be the perfect way to start the celebration.
Remember, it’s your day. You can blend tradition and modernity in whatever way feels right for you.
Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.