When it comes to planning a wedding, most couples put a lot of focus on the ceremony and reception—and rightfully so! It’s your wedding day, after all. But there’s another event that often gets overlooked in the early stages of planning: the rehearsal dinner.
This pre-wedding gathering sets the tone for your big weekend, brings your loved ones together, and gives you a chance to relax before the whirlwind begins. Whether you're just getting started or putting the final touches on your timeline, here’s what you need to know about the rehearsal dinner—plus our best planner-approved pro tips.
🎉 What Is a Rehearsal Dinner Anyway?
Traditionally held the night before the wedding, the rehearsal dinner comes after your ceremony walk-through. It’s an opportunity for your wedding party, immediate family, and sometimes out-of-town guests to gather in a more casual, intimate setting before the main event.
Think: relaxed vibes, delicious food, heartfelt toasts, and quality time with the people who matter most. It's also a chance for you and your partner to say thank you to everyone who's supported your journey.
👨👩👧👦 Who Hosts the Rehearsal Dinner?
Historically, the groom’s parents hosted and paid for the rehearsal dinner—especially if the bride’s family was covering most of the wedding costs. But nowadays, anything goes. The dinner might be hosted by either set of parents, both families together, or the couple themselves (especially for destination weddings or smaller guest counts).
We’ve even seen couples host casual versions with just appetizers or tapas. The key is to talk with everyone involved early, set clear expectations, and agree on the budget. Transparency avoids confusion and keeps things drama-free.
✉️ Who Should Be Invited?
You don’t have to invite everyone on your guest list. At a minimum, we recommend including:
Wedding party (bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearers, etc.)
Immediate family members from both sides
Officiant
Plus-ones of the wedding party
If you have the flexibility and budget, it's thoughtful to include out-of-town guests or anyone who traveled a long way to celebrate with you. If you’re expecting a lot of travelers, consider combining your rehearsal dinner with a casual welcome party to include everyone without going overboard.
🥂 Where Should You Host It?
There’s no one-size-fits-all here. Your rehearsal dinner can be formal, casual, or somewhere in between. Some of our favorite ideas:
Your go-to local restaurant
A private dining room in a hotel
Backyard or garden party
Pavilion at a park or the beach
Winery or local brewery
Your own home
Choose a location that feels meaningful and is close to the ceremony site. You don’t want your guests stuck in traffic the night before the big day.
📝 What Should Happen at the Rehearsal Dinner?
Rehearsal dinners usually follow a relaxed structure. Here's a basic flow:
Ceremony Rehearsal: Takes about 30–45 minutes.
Arrival + Mingling: Allow time for greetings and drinks.
Dinner is Served: Whether it’s buffet, plated, or family-style.
Toasts + Speeches: Informal, but meaningful.
Gifts + Thank-Yous: Optional but always appreciated.
Open Time: Connect, laugh, enjoy the evening.
🎤 Do We Have to Toast?
Short answer: no. But it’s a beautiful time to speak from the heart.
If you do open the floor, we recommend the following toast order:
The hosts (whoever is paying for the dinner)
The couple
Additional guests who want to share a few words
Encourage speakers to keep toasts under 5 minutes. Having a loose order ahead of time keeps things moving and avoids awkward silences or overlap.
✨ Should We Decorate?
You don’t need to go over the top. The venue’s ambience is often enough—but adding a few simple, thoughtful touches can make the space feel extra special.
Consider:
String lights or candles
Small floral arrangements
Custom signage
A photo display of your relationship
The key? Keep it cozy, personal, and stress-free.
💡 Final Thoughts:
The rehearsal dinner isn’t just a formality—it’s the heartfelt beginning of your wedding weekend. It sets the tone, helps guests feel welcomed, and gives you space to breathe, connect, and soak in the love before the main event.
So plan it with intention, lean into gratitude, and don’t forget to enjoy the moment. It may become one of your favorite memories from the whole weekend.
Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Seattle Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.