As much as I hate to face it, smart phones are practically an extension of our hands. We can’t go anywhere without our phones and if there are no pictures from the occasion, did it even happen? Due to the plugged in nature of society, more couples are leaning towards the idea of an unplugged ceremony for a few reasons. It’s gaining popularity because couples are seeking to have a more intimate, intentional wedding experience. We’ve all seen the signs for an unplugged wedding on our instagrams. But what exactly is it? Why is it something more couples are opting for? And how do you implement it without sound over bearing or offending your guests. Let’s break down the etiquette behind unplugged ceremonies and how to pull it off with grace.
What does UNPLUGGED mean?
Let’s define it – an unplugged ceremony is when a couple asks guests to put away phones, cameras, or ALL devices at the wedding ceremony. What is the goal behind this? To create an intimate setting where your guests can be absolutely present. This means no texting, no posting to your Instagram stories, and no Aunties blocking the aisle trying to get that perfect shot.
Why it works for YOU.
While an unplugged story may not be for everyone, there are a few reasons that couples choose to go unplugged for their ceremonies.
You are PRESENT. Weddings are emotional and once in a lifetime. It’s a chance for you to celebrate someone’s love and be fully present in their celebration. You will be able to soak in all the moments and not watch it through the screen.
LEAVE it to the professionals. Chances are the bride and groom hired a slamming photography team. Photographers can struggle with guests unknowingly ruining the shots by standing in the aisle, using flash photography, or having their hands up snapping shots. An unplugged ceremony helps to ensure the professionals are doing what they are hired to do. They will be able to capture stunning, unobstructed photos during your ceremony.
It HONORS the couples PRIVACY. Some people simply don’t like their business out on social media. And many couples prefer not to have their images of their wedding shared online in real-time. The couples may want to have the opportunity to share their wedding on their own accord, or keep their wedding ceremony a private affair.
It LIMITS the OBSTRUCTIONS. Screens and devices up in the air, mid ceremony can be an eye sore. Removing them keeps the vibe of the ceremony timeless and clutter free.
WHEN should our guests UNPLUG?
The most common time to go unplugged is during the ceremony. This is the core of the wedding and the most important moments will be held here. Some couples have asked to unplug during the reception, but it is rare. Most couples ask for unplugged moments during intimate moments such as the ceremony, first dance, or speeches. However, it is common for it to be requested for the ceremony only and guests can plug back in post ceremony. But, ultimately the decision belongs to the couple.
So, what is the ETIQUETTE in making an unplugged ceremony happen?
It doesn’t have to be awkward. And it doesn’t have to be authoritarian. It’s about clear communication and creating the right tone for your guests. So here’s the proper etiquette in making it happen with grace.
#01: Give your Guests a Heads-Up
Mention it on your wedding website. Or make a note of it in your invitations, or save the date. It can be something catchy and simple like “we kindly request an unplugged ceremony.” Or, “please plan on putting your phones and cameras away so you can enjoy the moment with us.” This will give guests a heads up of what to expect for the big day.
#02: Make a Sign
Before you guests even enter your ceremony space, make a sign to reinforce your unplugged wants and needs. Keep the sign simple and polite. A common sign we see often is: “Welcome to our Unplugged wedding. We invite you to be fully present with us, please turn off all devices and share the moment with us. Thank you!”. Jazz it up, add some of your theme decor and use some beautiful handlettering of fonts.
#03: Make an Announcement
Your wedding planner, day of coordinator or officiant can remind guests upon arrival. You can ask someone to take a stand to greet guests and announce your request for an unplugged ceremony. You can also ask your officiant to make an announcement before the processional begins. They can let your guests know that you’ve requested all phones be turned off and cameras to be put away for the ceremony. Remind the guest that there is a photographer to capture all the moments, and you just want them to relax and enjoy the moment with the couple.
#04: Put YOUR phone away.
The best way to set an example is to lead by example. Encourage your wedding party and close family to keep their phones tucked away. That means no texting before walking down the aisle and save those snapchat shots for later.
What if someone DOESN'T want to?
Sometimes, and we’ve had it happen, there are a few people that just don’t quite “get it.” They may either ignore the request, or maybe they missed the memo. The key is to stay calm and focus on what you can control. If you are really concerned, ask a friend or coordinator to remind the guest before the ceremony starts.
Bottom line - is to prime your guests and stay consistent. Communicate your wishes clearly and in multiple means. Be respectful and not controlling. You’ll want to use kind language and ask for cooperation rather than make demands. Be sure to thank your guests for their cooperation and give them opportunities to snag pictures with you at other times in the evening. It’s your day at the end and whatever you’d like to craft for your wedding experience is up to you and your partner. You can ask for an unplugged ceremony with grace and find that perfect balance between keeping it intimate and giving your guests time to check in with technology or snap those pictures.
Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 20 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.