Wedding Tips + Tricks | Wedding Gift Etiquette

Today I received a great question from one of our brides asking whether it's okay to open wedding presents that arrive before their wedding.

That's a great question!

"Traditional Wedding Etiquette" has couples wait until after their wedding to open gifts and sometimes in front of family at a post-wedding brunch. My thoughts and modern wedding etiquette states that couples should open their wedding gifts as they arrive and to send thank you notes right away. The reasoning for this is two-fold. First, it lets your guests know that you received their gift and you are "thanking" them for their generosity. Secondly, it gives you a jump start on your thank you notes.

However, I do agree with traditional wedding gift etiquette that states you do not use the gift until you after you are married as the gift is intended for your life as a married couple.

All thank you notes should be written within three months of when you receive the gift. (Ideally, a response should be written on the day you receive the wedding gift)

Emily Post's Do and Dont's of Thank You Notes 

• Do personalize your notes and make reference to the person as well as the gift.

• Do remember that a gift should be acknowledged with the same courtesy and generous spirit in which it was given.

• Do be enthusiastic, but don’t gush. Avoid saying a gift is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen unless you really mean it.

• Don’t send form letters or cards with printed messages and just your signature; don’t use email or post a generic thank you on your wedding web site in lieu of a personal note.

• Do promptly acknowledge the receipt of shipped gifts by sending a note right away or calling and following up with a written note in a day or two.

• Don’t mention that you plan to return a gift or that you are dissatisfied in any way.

• Don’t tailor your note to the perceived value of the gift; no one should receive a perfunctory note.

• Do refer to the way you will use a gift of money. Mentioning the amount is optional.

• Don’t include wedding photos or use photo cards if it will delay sending the note.

• Don’t use being late as an excuse not to write. Even if you are still sending notes after your first anniversary, keep writing!

Wedding Tips + Tricks | When Guests Don't RSVP

One of my biggest pet peeves of being a former bride and now as a wedding planner is when guests do not RSVP for weddings. As a bride you have done everything to make it simple for your guests by including a mailable card that is already addressed and stamped and all they have to do is check that they are attending or not and then put it in the envelope and stick it in the mailbox. Sounds simple enough, right?

What I tell my brides before they mail out their invitations is to make sure they have a spreadsheet (Excel is my personal hero) that lists who you invited, addresses, phone numbers and if by chance an e-mail address.

Be prepared for the flood of response cards, you can expect cards to be returned as soon as a few days after you mail out your wedding invitations. I love this time, this is the one time in your life where you will have so much mail with your name on it that you are actually excited to receive. The key is to record every response as they come in and don't let them accumulate around your house because chances are these little cards can be easily misplaced or accidentally thrown away.

When it comes closer to your actual RSVP date, check your spreadsheet and assess who has or hasn't responded by mailing in their card. DO NOT rely on your friends and family saying to you at a party or in passing that they are coming. Encourage your guests to send in their response cards.

The key thing to remember is to never assume that a guest will or will not be attending your wedding, having that response card is the golden ticket.

My biggest piece of advice is about a week or two to your RSVP date, contact those guests whose response cards you haven't received either by a nice phone call or e-mail. This is a task that SHOULD NOT be done by the bride a groom. This is a great job for your wedding planner or a pre-assigned family member or member of your bridal party.

Here are some reasons why guests haven't sent in their response card:

• "I totally forgot about it. Thanks for reminding me."

• "I never received my invitation."

• "I'm not able to make it so I didn't think I needed to send it in." (Most common)

When talking with these guests, be polite and ask about their response cards. If they have lost their response card, this is the only time where it is acceptable to take a verbal commitment to you wedding.

Need a planner? | Why you should hire us!

In the past, many have thought that hiring an event planner was an extravagance only meant for the elite. After all, why spend money for something you could “do yourself?” Today, however, times have changed. The costs and complexity of planning any event, but most especially weddings, have many people turning to an event planner. An event professional not only saves time and emotional stress, but it can actually save money.

This is how Elegant Affairs can help you. We believe in making your vision come true no matter what budget you have. From locating the perfect vendors to dealing with all of the details leading up to your special event, our aim is for you and your guests to have fun and to make your event something that people will still be talking about five years later.

We realize that everyone’s needs and visions are different. That’s why we listen to you! We custom design your event to fit your needs, style and budget. For example, you may find along the way that with your busy schedule, and never ending commitments, you don’t have the time, and you need Elegant Affairs to step in and assist you with partial planning, planning for the rehearsal and dinner, researching specific information for you, or full wedding/event planning. We’re here for you – however you need us.

Elegant Affairs is a different type of event planning company. We connect with our clients on a personal, individual basis. This connection allows us to truly understand your vision for your event, and once we understand your vision – we figure out how to make it a reality. At Elegant Affairs, your ideas are important to us, and we listen to YOU. When you choose Elegant Affairs Events, you’ll be able to make intelligent, educated and informed decisions throughout the entire process – and at the end, you’ll have the event you’ve dreamed about.

What Elegant Affairs can do for you:
•Help create a realistic budget
•Devise an event/wedding master plan that maps out all the little details
•Find the best florists, photographers, DJs, in your price range
•Read over all of your vendor contracts
•Create a timeline that tells everyone involved in the planning process - vendors, members of the wedding party and families - when to do what and how to actually stick to that schedule
•Coordinate with the photographer, florist, musicians and caterer/banquet manager to determine realistic set-up times and when they should arrive
•Manage the wedding day/event, supervise vendors, handle emergencies and sooth nerves
•Serve as your spokesperson, conveying your every whim and desire to vendors or family members when you just can't deal with doing it yourself