The Perfect Wedding Toast (And No Open Mic Allowed)

Wedding toasts can either be one of the most anticipated moments of a wedding celebration, or one of the most dreaded portions. Whether you're the best man, maid of honor, or a guest asked to raise a glass, delivering a meaningful and heartfelt toast is an incredible way to honor the couple. But, let's face it—public speaking can be intimidating, and the pressure to say the "right" words can feel overwhelming. Don't worry! With a little preparation and some tips, you’ll be able to stand up with confidence and deliver a toast that will be remembered for years to come. So let’s dive into how to give the perfect wedding toast and settle your anxiety.

#01: Know Your Audience and Keep It Appropriate

A wedding toast isn’t just about the couple; it’s also about the guests and the atmosphere of the event. While you want your toast to be personal, keep in mind that you’re speaking in front of a diverse crowd. This means avoiding any inside jokes that might leave people confused or uncomfortable. It’s also a good idea to stay clear of overly personal stories that could embarrass the couple or just be about you and the bride or groom. Stick to light-hearted humor, avoid controversial topics that could sour the mood, and focus on the couple’s relationship. 

#02: Keep It Short and Sweet

While you might have plenty of stories and memories you'd love to share, remember that a wedding toast isn’t the place for a lengthy speech. If we’re being honest, we’ve sat through our fair share of wedding toasts, some that went upwards of 30 minutes. We’ve learned from this and our couples have too. We recommend that you keep your toast between 2-3 minutes. The couple will appreciate a concise toast that gets to the point while still feeling heartfelt. Plus, guests are likely looking forward to the next part of the celebration, whether that’s dinner, dancing, or more drinks.

#03: Start with an Introduction

Whether you're the best man, maid of honor, or a friend of the couple, it’s important to introduce yourself at the beginning of the toast. Simply say something like, “Hi, I’m _______, and I’ve known _________ for _____ years.” Or start with an introduction that includes your relationship, “I’m ________’s sorority sister from her college days!”. This sets the context and gives the audience background knowledge and a better sense of your relationship with the couple.

#04: Share a Personal Story or Memory

We’re not saying don’t share a personal story or a memory with the reception guests. A great toast can include a personal story or two. Think about a short, fun, touching, or meaningful moment you’ve shared with the couple. Maybe it’s a memory from childhood with the groom or a moment that made you realize how much the bride and groom belong together. The key is to make it relatable, about their relationship, NOT you and your friend, and make it sincere, so everyone can connect with the story.

#05: Don’t Forget to Compliment the Couple

Don’t forget to share your admiration for the couple! Talk about what makes them such a great match. Compliment their individual qualities, what they bring out in one another, their love for each other, or the way they make each other better people. This is the HEART of the toast and should reflect your genuine, sincere feelings for the couple.

#06: Keep it Classy

If you’re on the deck to give a toast, be mindful of your speech and how it will be received with the guests. It is OK to incorporate humor in your speech, but keep it classy. Don’t speak on overly embarrassing moments, or past relationships of either party. Incorporate light-hearted jokes or anecdotes about the couple's quirks or how they met are usually well-received. And please avoid humor that could make anyone uncomfortable. Stay away from risque convos, too. The goal is to make everyone smile, not cringe or be uncomfortable. 

#07: End with a Toast

Before the toasts begin, coordinate with your MC or DJ to make an announcement to visit the bar to fill up their glasses. You want to ensure guests are ready, especially if there will be no passed offerings of champagne. And, don’t forget to end by making a toast to the couple. Ask everyone to raise their guests and go with some of the classics like…

• To love, laughter and a lifetime of happiness….please raise your glass!

• Raise your glasses to celebrate _____ and ______!

• For many blessings and adventures to the lovely couples, so raise your glass!

#08: Practice, Practice, Practice

Please, please practice. Even if it’s 1-2 times before the actual toast, give your speech a practice run through with a friend. Write down bullet points if you need to, rehearse in front of the mirror or in the car. But, before you step up to give your toast, you will need to practice it a few times. This will help you decrease anxiety and become confident and comfortable. You don't have to memorize it word for word, but knowing the key points will keep you from rambling. 

#09: Enjoy the Moment 

Public speaking is nerve-wracking, but remember that this moment isn’t about perfection. The guests are there to celebrate the couple, and they’ll appreciate the effort you put into your toast. Take a deep breath, smile, and enjoy the opportunity to be part of such a special day. When in doubt, keep it about the couple. 

Giving a wedding toast is a true honor, and with a little thought and preparation, you can make it a moment that everyone remembers. Focus on sharing your genuine feelings for the couple and celebrating their love, and you’ll do great! After all, it’s the sentiment that counts most, and nothing beats a toast that comes from the heart.

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

10 Common Wedding Planning Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Planning a wedding is an exciting, yet challenging task. This is uncharted territory for our couple and with so many decisions to make and details to handle, it's easy to overlook key aspects that can cause unnecessary stress. To help you avoid common wedding planning mistakes, we’ve rounded up the top 10 mistakes couples often make - and how to steer clear of them for a smoother, more enjoyable wedding planning experience.

Mistake: Not Setting a Realistic Budget
This is one of the most common wedding mistakes we see. And, this is often a mistake that many don’t see coming. Sometimes couples don’t realize the expenses a wedding may create, or their vision and funds simply don’t align. You must set a clear, realistic budget right from the start. Without it, it’s too easy to overspend and you will end up facing financial stress down the road. Sit down with your partner at the very start. Determine a budget that is reasonable for BOTH of you. Ensure that you allocate funds to all areas of your wedding to include: venue, catering, photographer, dessert, videographer, DJ etc. And don’t forget to include a buffer for any unexpected expenses. 

Mistake: Ignoring the Guest List Early On
A common misconception is that you don’t have to create your guests list at the beginning of planning. But, ignoring the guest list early on can lead to problems down the road. Most of your wedding planning decisions are based on the number of guests. And this includes our first mistake, your budget. Waiting too long to decide on the guest list can lead to venue and vendor complications, or worse, an overbooked event. It can also bust your budget if you don’t have the funds for all your desired guests. We recommend that you start working on the guest list early, as it directly impacts your choice of venue and other vendors. Establish who must be at your wedding and who can be left out to make the guest list manageable. Be realistic about who you can invite and set limits. 

Mistake: Overloading your Day of Timeline
Your wedding day will go by quickly. Try not to leave last minute items on your to-do list for your wedding day. If you absolutely have to, task it out to someone who can complete the job for you. Limit the tasks you assign to yourself, your partner, and your wedding party. A common mistake is trying to fit too many activities or events into one day can make everything feel rushed and stressful. Sit down and plan the schedule carefully. Create spaces of time that allow enough time between events for guests to enjoy themselves and for you to have moments to relax. Always prioritize what’s important to you and be willing to cut down on non-essential elements

Mistake: Not Reading Contracts 
Before you sign, read the fine print. We cannot stress this enough! You should never feel pressured to sign a contract without having an opportunity to review the contract thoroughly. Contracts outline all of the essential details including emergency situations, payments, and non-negotiables. And, if you think you can just change it later – think again! Many contracts include fees if dates are changed. In order to avoid any future misunderstandings or additional charges later, always read vendor contracts thoroughly before signing. Pay close attention to the terms, cancellation policies, date changes, Act of God clause, extra fees, and service duration. If any portion of the contract is unclear, ask for clarification. Remember – this is a legally binding contract! 

Mistake: Neglecting to Take Into Account Seasonal Factors
The weather plays a huge factor into your wedding experience. It can have an effect on your guests. I’ll never forget the weddings as a guest where I have sweat dripping down my dress because it is hot, hot, hot. So don’t make the mistake and forget to consider the weather or season when choosing the venue or attire can create uncomfortable situations. Create a backup plan and communicate to your guests so they can dress appropriately. If you’re going for a summer wedding that is outdoor, create plans to keep your guests cool and hydrated. If your wedding is in the winter, communicate the need to bundle up, or consider making sure your location is adequately heated. 

Mistake: Overlooking Vendor Research
There are SO many vendors to choose from it can be daunting. One of our biggest recommendations is to do your research to find the right vendor for you. Opting for vendors based on price alone can lead to subpar services or a mismatch with your wedding style. Take the take to research your vendors carefully. Read reviews and check their portfolio to ensure they align with your vision. And when in doubt, it’s better to pay a bit more for quality than to risk disappointment on your big day.

Mistake: Underestimating the Importance of Timing
Timing is huge on your wedding day and throughout the wedding planning process. As you sit down and plan your timeline, think about how much time each task will take to accomplish. Don’t overestimate how much can actually be accomplished in a short amount of time. You don’t want to create any unnecessary stress as the wedding date approaches. Plan ahead and plan ALL of the details out. Start planning well in advance, and break down tasks by month or week to avoid rushing. Pay attention to timing for booking vendors, sending invitations, and getting attire alterations done.

Mistake: Forgetting to Enjoy the Process
Don’t let the “scaries” or stress of wedding planning stop you from enjoying the process. This is a process, it won’t be perfect and there will be plenty of ups and downs. It’s easy to lose sight of the joy and excitement of the process. So, take breaks, celebrate small milestones, and remember that your wedding day is about celebrating your love. Stay grounded and enjoy the journey with your partner—after all, the day will go by quickly!

Mistake: Not Communicating your Vision Clearly 
Sometimes, it’s easy to get caught up in everyones’ suggestions you forget your vision and dream for the day. Throughout the process it is vital to remember you have a vision for your wedding day. This is YOUR wedding day, to celebrate your love with your partner. By not articulating your vision for the wedding to your vendors, family members, or wedding party can result in confusion, arguments, and unmet expectations. Throughout the planning process, be clear about your expectations with everyone involved. Create a vision board or mood board and share it frequently with those who need to know. Communicate your theme, color scheme and inspo to your vendors. Create a line of communication for regular check-ins to ensure everyone is in the “know” and stays on track. 

Mistake: Not Hiring a Wedding Planner
We may be biased, but hiring a wedding planner should always be considered. Some couples may try to handle all of the wedding details themself. Often, this can lead to stress, missed opportunities for saving money, and hiring a planner late down the wedding planning road. As you begin the process, consider hiring a planner right from the get go. And if you want to do the planning solo, think about hiring someone just for the day of. A wedding planner, or even day of coordinator, can alleviate stress, handle logistics before, during, and after the wedding, and ensure that everything runs smoothly. At the end of the day, their goal is to ensure your wedding goes smoothly and you enjoy your big day. 

Wedding planning can be a daunting task, but avoiding these common mistakes will make your experience smoother and more enjoyable. Stay organized, communicate clearly with your partner and vendors, and remember to savor every moment leading up to your special day. With careful planning and attention to detail, you can create the wedding of your dreams without the stress!

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

How to Build Your Wedding Dream Team: Choosing the Right Vendors

Are you planning your wedding? If you’re in the middle of the planning process, it can feel like exhilarating, but a massive check-list at the same time. Choosing the right vendors is one of the most crucial parts of making your dream wedding happen. Vendors are the people behind your wedding day. They make your vision come to life and this creates an emphasis on selecting the right vendors to create the perfect experience. No matter how small your vendors’ roles are, it’s vital to select the right vendors to make your dream wedding come true. Here is your guide on how to assemble the perfect team of vendors.

Are you planning your wedding? If you’re in the middle of the planning process, it can feel like exhilarating, but a massive check-list at the same time. Choosing the right vendors is one of the most crucial parts of making your dream wedding happen. Vendors are the people behind your wedding day. They make your vision come to life and this creates an emphasis on selecting the right vendors to create the perfect experience. No matter how small your vendors’ roles are, it’s vital to select the right vendors to make your dream wedding come true. Here is your guide on how to assemble the perfect team of vendors.

STEP 1: Create the Perfect Vision
Before you even begin researching vendors, you need to take a moment to discover and determine your wedding vision. Reflecting on your values, your absolutes, and your “Pinterest” board is the first step to selecting your vendors. You’ll need to reflect on your wedding style. Are you leaning towards classic, modern, rustic, boho, an elopement? You and your partner need to decide on the pillars and elements that will be the foundations of your wedding. Once you clarify your wedding vision, you will be able to research and narrow down the vendors that will fit in your plan. 

To create your vision ask yourself these questions: 

• What is the overall vibe you want for your wedding day? 

• What is your maximum budget? 

• What are your non-negotiables or your must haves (ex. A videographer, your favorite florist etc.)

• What type of wedding will you hold? (ex. Elopement, wedding weekend, destination etc.) 

Once you’ve solidified your vision, you are ready to begin the selection process. 

STEP 2: Research, Research, Research
Once you’ve narrowed down your priorities, it’s time to start doing some research! But, where to begin? A great place to start is our blog, website, and instagram! We love to feature vendors that we know and love. Not a local? We suggest looking at other wedding blogs, social media posts, instagrams, and Pinterest. You may even venture over to a wedding directory, like the Knot! Another great place to start is to ask your friend and family for recommendations! There is nothing like a first hand experience and testimony to sweeten the deal! Grab insights from loved ones and gain insight on their personal experiences. Some of our favorite places to start include: 

• Wedding blogs (like this one!) 

• Instagram sites and hashtags or photo threads

• Pinterest (an oldie but a goodie!)

• Facebook Local Pages

• And any Vendor specific websites 

Do you research and create a list. This is the starting point to narrowing down who will fit you best! 

STEP 3: Prioritize your NEEDS 
The key word to staying on budget is to determine what you need and make those a priority. If you want killer food and would rather have that be the feature of your big day? Ok then – search for more affordable vendors and allocate a chunk of your budget to catering. Talk to your partner and determine how you want to prioritize your budget. Determine what are your needs or must haves and decide how you will allocate the funds. It’s best to allocate these funds to your budget during the researching process. 

To begin prioritizing: 

• Rank your must-haves and want-to-haves

• Create and allocate your budget to each category 

• Ensure your budget will fit all your vendor needs 

• … and don’t blow your budget! 

STEP 4: Meet and Greet and Review!
After you’ve prioritized your wants and needs, create a list of options. As you begin the hunt, we suggest you look at reviews (from blogs, Yelp, Google, and FB) and view their portfolios. Narrow down your options and schedule your consultations with your vendor options. You can schedule in-person, virtual or phone meetings. But, we highly suggest meeting in person with those who will have the greatest impact on your wedding, such as venues, wedding planners, and photographers. So what questions do you need to ask? 

• How long have you been in the industry?

• What is your experience with other vendors?

• Do you have client reviews?

• How many weddings do you book a weekend or season?

• What is your availability? And how many hours?

• What are your payment expectations? (Down payment, security deposit etc.)

• How do you handle unexpected changes or events?

• How do you interact with guests?

• What is your attire for the day?

• What is your communication style or policies? (ex. Response time etc.)

As with meeting anyone, it is important to trust your instincts and listen to your gut. Your gut will tell you if their vibe is off or if something isn’t right. You will be working closely with these individuals so you need to ensure they are the right fit for you. 

STEP 5: Understand, Read, and Reread the Contract and Terms
Do not sign on the dotted line at your initial meeting. We highly recommend that you take time to discuss privately, or with your wedding planner, trusted family member, or friend. Read the contracts carefully and then read them again. Ensure you read the fine lines, look for: 

• Payment Schedule and terms

• Cancellation Policy

• Policy for date changes 

• What’s included in their services 

• What hours are provided and guaranteed 

• Act of God (when things happen that they cannot control)

• Plans for bad weather 

• Potential Add ons’ 

• Vendor meals

It is never a bad idea to ask for clarification on any portions that may seem unclear. This is a legal contract. You want to understand every statement on the contract to avoid any unwanted surprises later on. 

STEP 6: Listen and Collaborate
Listen to your vendors. They are trusted wedding professionals and have been in the industry. You want to ensure that you maintain positive relations with your vendors and an open, yet respectful, line of communication. Share details when you have them, update them on any changes and ask questions. Your vendors are experts in their field, so lean on them. They will support you in all the ways they can. 

Building your dream team may seem daunting, but if you take the time and think carefully about each step, it will be a smooth process. Our biggest advice is to not rush the process. Take the time to find and research the right vendors for you. Remember that every vendor will bring something special to your wedding day, they will create something that is unique to you and your partner. Trust in the process, find the right vendors that fit your needs, and you will have the wedding day that you’ve always imagined. 

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.