How to Add Unexpected (but Totally You!) Details Into Your Wedding Design

Your wedding is one of the most meaningful days of your life. So, why not make it as uniquely you as possible? Sure, we know that specific wedding traditions have their place. But not every wedding has to follow the same formula. Our most memorable weddings to coordinate have been the ones where our couples let their personalities shine through the details. We encourage you to think beyond color schemes and seating charts. Think about those unexpected touches, those little built in elements that say, this is SO us. It’s these moments that make your wedding truly unforgettable. 

Here are our favorite ways to weave the unexpected (but totally you) details into your wedding design, without going over the top or losing sight of the big picture. 

START AT YOUR LOVE STORY.

Let YOUR LOVE story inspire the theme. Your relationship has a story. Every relationship has its origin story. Did you meet in college? Then, incorporate nods to your alma mater in your decor or signage. Did you have your first date at a pizza shop? Maybe set up a wood-fired slice station during your cocktail hour. Are you and your partner obsessed with hiking or road trips? Use maps, travel tags, or trail markers as your table numbers. Remember that designing a wedding doesn’t just mean it needs to be beautiful. It needs to also feel personal. You want your guests to walk in and say, “This is SO them.” And if they do that? You know you’ve nailed it. 

PERSONALIZE YOUR CEREMONY SPACE. 

The ceremony space is the first thing your guests will see upon arrival. It is also the heart, the basis of your wedding day. So why not make it feel uniquely yours? Instead of the standard arch or floral setup, consider: 

Think about….a circle of florals symbolizing eternity and unity. Or a custom-built backdrop painted or designed to reflect your favorite place or memory. You’ll want to include meaningful heirlooms, fabrics, and symbolic items from your culture or history. 

PLAY WITH THE UNEXPECTED 

We love the unexpected. Don’t feel limited by the typical blush, gold, white, and green wedding palettes. Think about the colors that speak to you – not just on Pinterest. Do you love moody tones? Then lean into deep emerald, plum, and rust. Are you and your partner all about bold and bright energy? Then try cobalt blue with hot pink and sunny orange. Or if you prefer neutrals, add texture and metallic accents to keep things exciting. Having an unexpected color palette doesn’t mean clashing. It means designing a palette that surprises and delights you while feeling cohesive. 

INFUSE YOUR PERSONALITY

You can infuse you and your partner's personality into your wedding attire. Wedding day fashion doesn’t have to be traditional. It just has to be true to who you are. We love fun and unexpected fashion ideas. Have you thought about a colored wedding dress? Who doesn’t love a little pop of blush, blue, or green? You can also add personality into your suit or dress with custom embroidery inside. Or are you an accessory fan? Add matching leather jackets, denim, or sneakers for your reception. Are you blending two different cultures? Then add cultural elements to give a nod to your families and traditions and think of fun ways to intertwine them. Encourage your wedding party to reflect their own style too. Mismatched outfits, bold accessories, and fun footwear can bring individuality to a group look. 

GET CREATIVE WITH YOUR SIGNAGE

Wedding signage is the perfect place to sprinkle in your humor, preferences, heart, or a touch of sass. Think beyond the basic, unplugged ceremony, cocktail napkins, and seating charts. And get creative! Here are some of our favorite ideas: 

• “No Phones, Just Vibes” 

• Cocktail napkins with your dogs faces 

• A custom seating chart designed like a bookshelf or passport board 

• Or interactive seating charts that reveal a picture 

Signs can help set the tone for your style. Think about details that can be incorporated to celebrate who you and your partner are. 

RETHINK THE GUEST EXPERIENCE: 

Don’t forget about your guests. You want to think about how your guests will experience your wedding from the day of arrival, to the last dance. Find ways to delight them. Things guests love that are unexpected: 

• Live ceremony or reception music to get them ready to dance and groove

• Interactive food stations, such as dumpling folding, s’mores fire pit, or build your own taco bar

• Create a custom scent or essential oil blends that guests can associate with your wedding day

• Polaroid or video confession booths in lieu of the traditional guest book. 

You want your wedding day to not just be about watching your love story unfold, but you want your guests to feel a part of your wedding day. 

DESIGN A RECEPTION SPACE WITH A WOW FACTOR 

We love a good wow factor. Whether your reception space is in a ballroom, backyard, or barn, there are many ways to make your reception stand out. Use unexpected lighting, such as string lights, lanterns, neon signs or candles in creative ways. Talk to your planner or florist about ceiling installations. Think outside of the box for statement tablescapes. Bring on the velvet runners, mixed vintage glassware, or themed centerpieces built on things you and your partner love and enjoy. And our personal fav, set up cozy concerns with rugs, pillows, and vintage furniture. The goal isn’t just to decorate. It’s to create an atmosphere that reflects who you are. 

Whatever you decide, think about what makes you, you and lean into it. The most memorable weddings aren’t always the most extravagant, they are the most honest and vulnerable. When your wedding feels like a reflection of your spirit, people remember it for life. So, in a world full of cookie-cutter weddings, yours should feel like a breath of fresh air. By adding unexpected touches (but totally you) details into your wedding design, you’re not just planning a party, you’re telling a story. Let go of what you think weddings should look like or are expected. Create something real. Something bold. And something that could only belong to you and your partner. 

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

Why a First Look (with Your Partner or Parents!) Might Be Right for You

Weddings are full of unforgettable moments, walking down the aisle, saying "I do," and the first dance. But one that’s become increasingly popular (and emotional) is the first look. While some couples still hold to the tradition of seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony, many are embracing the magic of a planned, private reveal before the vows.

But did you know that first looks aren’t just for you and your partner? They can also be shared with parents, grandparents, or even your bridal party. Whether you're a traditionalist or looking for an intimate moment before the celebration begins, here's why a first look might be the perfect choice for your big day.

Let’s start with the basics. What is a first look? A first look is a private (or semi-private) moment scheduled before the ceremony, where the couple sees each other for the first time in their wedding attire. Typically captured by a photographer or videographer, it’s a chance to connect, take in the moment, and calm the pre-ceremony jitters.

While traditionally done with your partner, first looks can also involve a parent, sibling, or anyone close to your heart. The goal? To slow down and share an emotional, meaningful experience in the midst of a very fast-paced day.

There are several reasons why to consider a first look with your partner. These are our top: 

#01: Calm the Nerves 

Weddings can feel like a whirlwind of activity — hair, makeup, dresses, suits, timelines, emotions. A first look allows you to pause and breathe. Seeing your partner before the ceremony can ease anxiety and bring a sense of calm that carries you through the rest of the day.

#02: A Truly Private Moment

The ceremony is beautiful, but it’s public. A first look gives you a chance to react freely — to cry, laugh, hug, kiss, talk — without hundreds of eyes watching. It’s a quiet, intimate experience shared just between the two of you.

#03: More Time Together 

Let’s be honest, wedding days fly by. Doing a first look adds meaningful minutes (or hours) to the time you get to spend together on your wedding day. And isn’t that what it’s all about?

#04: Better Photo Opportunities 

A first look opens the door to taking more photos earlier in the day. That means bridal party portraits, couple shots, and even some family pictures can be done before the ceremony — giving you more time to enjoy the cocktail hour and reception with your guests.

#05: Authentic Emotions 

Some worry that a first look will “take away” from the emotional moment of walking down the aisle. In reality, it often enhances it. Couples who’ve shared a first look say they felt more present and grounded during the ceremony because their nerves were already calmed and their connection reaffirmed.

Weddings are full of big emotions, not just for the couple, but for their families too. For many parents, seeing their child dressed for their wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime moment. A first look with a parent (or grandparent) creates a beautiful opportunity to honor that relationship. First looks can be an emotional keepsake. On a personal level, I did a first look with my father after I was dressed. That was one of my favorite moments and I am so glad that it happened and we were able to capture it on film. Capturing the exact moment your mom sees you in your gown, or your dad holds back tears seeing you in a tux, creates some of the most heartfelt photos of the day. These images are timeless and full of genuine love. It is also an opportunity to say thank you to your parents. If your parents have played a significant role in your life or your wedding planning, a first look is a beautiful way to thank them. It shows you value their role in your journey and want them to be a special part of your milestone.

Don’t stop with your partner or parents! First looks with bridesmaids, groomsmen, or siblings are becoming increasingly popular, and for good reason!

Are you on the fence about breaking tradition? It’s totally okay to feel conflicted. The idea of seeing each other for the first time walking down the aisle is steeped in tradition and drama — and for some couples, it’s the moment they’ve dreamed about for years.

If you love the idea of keeping that surprise for the ceremony, you can still have private moments that don’t involve a full reveal. You can consider a first touch, where you are behind a door or curtain, where you can hold hands and pray or share private vows. You can write letters and exchange with each other as well. These are simple, one-to-one connections that you can create without altering the ceremony timeline. 

A first look, whether with your partner, parents, or bridal party  is about more than just the photos. It’s about creating space in your wedding day for connection, reflection, and real emotion. It allows you to honor the relationships that have shaped your life and to breathe in the beauty of the moment before the day picks up speed. If you're looking for a way to make your wedding day feel even more personal and unforgettable, a first look might just be the perfect way to start the celebration.

Remember, it’s your day. You can blend tradition and modernity in whatever way feels right for you.

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

How to Make the Most of Your Private Wedding Day Moments

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How to Make the Most of Your Private Wedding Day Moments

Your wedding day will be one of the most joyful, emotional, and fast-paced days of your life. With so many moving pieces — from getting ready and taking photos to the ceremony, reception, and everything in between — it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement and forget to pause. That’s why intentionally creating private moments throughout the day is not only important — it’s essential.

These moments give you the chance to breathe, connect, and be fully present with your partner, allowing you to slow down and soak it all in. Here's how to make the most of your private wedding day moments and turn them into some of the most memorable parts of your celebration.

#01: Start the Day with a Centering Ritual 

Before the whirlwind begins, give yourself a moment of calm. Whether it’s meditating, journaling, sipping coffee alone, or simply listening to your favorite music while getting ready, this time sets the tone for your day. It’s a chance to ground yourself emotionally and mentally before stepping into the spotlight. 

#02: Plan a First Look or First Touch 

A first look is one of the most meaningful ways to share a quiet moment with your partner before the ceremony. It allows you to connect, ease nerves, and express your emotions in an intimate setting without all eyes on you. It also makes for beautiful, authentic photos.

If you prefer to wait until the ceremony to see each other, consider a “first touch” instead,  stand on either side of a door or wall, hold hands, and exchange a few words or a letter without peeking. You can even use this idea to exchange a small gift of private vows. 

#03: Write and Exchange Love Letters

Taking the time to write heartfelt letters to each other can be incredibly grounding and emotional. Exchange them while getting ready or during a private moment before the ceremony. Reading your partner’s words, their hopes, promises, and love - brings a sense of intimacy and presence that no schedule can replicate.

Some couples choose to read their letters out loud to each other; others prefer to keep it private. Either way, this quiet exchange can be one of the day’s most treasured memories.

#04: Steal Time after the Ceremony 

One of the best-kept secrets to creating a memorable wedding day? Schedule 10–15 minutes alone with your partner immediately after the ceremony. No guests, no photographers, no planners — just the two of you basking in the just-married glow.

This is often the first moment you get to truly exhale and take in the significance of what just happened. It’s raw, emotional, and grounding — a space to say “we did it” and revel in the joy before diving into the reception. We highly suggest you ask your planner or coordinator to build this time into your general wedding day timeline and ensure you have privacy. 

#05: Enjoy a Private Dinner or Toast 

Receptions can be busy and social, with guests vying for your attention. To carve out a moment just for you two, consider enjoying a private dinner or toast in a separate room before joining the party. This short break lets you fuel up, connect, and savor your first meal as newlyweds. It also gives you a chance to talk, laugh, and check in with each other without interruptions. We love the idea of sneaking away during dinner to snag some intimate photos with golden hour light. 

#06: Take a Nighttime Stroll Together 

As the evening winds down, take a few minutes to step outside and walk hand-in-hand under the stars or twinkling venue lights. This final moment of stillness offers a sense of closure, peace, and perspective before the night ends. It’s also the perfect time to reflect on the day, exchange impressions, and quietly soak in everything you’ve experienced. You can also end the night with a private last dance before guests exit or during the venue breakdown. Many couples say this was one of their favorite moments.

#07: Honor Loved Ones in a Private Way

If you’re remembering a lost loved one on your wedding day, create a personal, private ritual. Light a candle together, visit a memory table, or quietly say a few words or prayers before the ceremony. This gives you a chance to honor them intimately and emotionally, away from the crowd, and acknowledge the impact they’ve had on your journey.

#08: Trust your Team and Let Go

One of the biggest challenges in making space for private moments is feeling like you need to be “on” all day. The truth is, you don’t. Trust your planner, vendors, and bridal party to handle the logistics while you stay present in your experience. Having a great team means you can let go of micromanaging and instead focus on soaking in every look, touch, word, and feeling.

#09: Make Time to Connect

Yes, even a short kiss, laugh, or shared look across the room can be a moment. It’s easy to get separated during the reception as you mingle with guests, but check in with each other regularly. Hold hands, sneak kisses, and don’t be afraid to pause the party to connect. These small, unscripted touches remind you that this day is, above all else, about the two of you.

#10: Capture the Quiet Moments 

Talk to your photographer or videographer about your desire to document the quiet, emotional parts of the day — the unscripted hugs, the teary-eyed smiles, the glances when no one else is watching. You’ll be grateful to have these subtle moments captured alongside the big ones. They add depth and authenticity to your wedding story.

Your wedding day is a celebration of love — not just the public, festive parts, but the deeply personal, tender ones too. Making the most of your private moments doesn’t require a lot of time, but it does require intention. These pauses, these quiet spaces in between the chaos, will become the memories that you hold onto the longest.

So while the flowers, the food, and the dancing are important, make room for the soft, silent beats in between. Those are the moments that truly last a lifetime.

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.