Congratulations - you’ve just gotten engaged. You’re over the moon excited. A million and one thoughts scramble around in your head. That was me when I first got engaged to my now husband. I was totally taken by surprise, but over the moon excited. Even though that was eight years ago, I definitely learned from my first moments and decisions as a newly engaged gal. And to be truthful, it was an overwhelming time because you’re constantly thinking “What’s next.” So, today I’m going to share some of my personal advice. These are things I wish I did and even some I wish I didn’t do after we first got engaged. So, here are our top engagement do’s and don’ts folks!
Do enjoy the moment. Hopefully, this will be the only time you’ll experience this and the moments fade away quickly. After you get engaged, stay off of social media, put that phone down, your bestie can wait. Take a moment to savor the moment with your partner. Capture the moment if you can, take a picture, write down your feelings, or sit with each other in happy silence. Whatever you choose to do, spend it with your partner, in private. Enjoy your company and soak in the bliss of being newly engaged.
Don’t immediately post on social media. Yes, we love filling in our followers on our social media accounts. But take this time to enjoy the moment. This also allows you to notify those who are the closest to your first before telling the world. We know that you want to share your drop-dead gorgeous ring, or maybe the shot of your engagement occurring, but wait a couple of hours, or days at least to share the news with your followers.
Do call your family first. When I got engaged, I was so excited to call my best friends, I snapped a picture and sent them the ring. Now, looking back, I wish I had called my parents first. After the moment has passed, sit down with your partner and discuss who you would like to share the news with. If this is your parents, your grandparents, or even your siblings, think about who you want to notify first. And, maybe you’re not close with your family, are there certain individuals who you’d like to tell first. It’s important for those closest to you to hear it out of your mouth, rather than the mouth of others, or via social media.
Don’t select your bridesmaids post-engagement. You may think you know who you want to celebrate your day with, but let’s be real, friendships can change, even in a short amount of time. Yes, you want to give your wedding party ample time to plan and make arrangements, especially if they are flying in from out of town. But, sit down with your partner and think about those who you are closest to, who have meaningful life-long friendships, and who you can laugh with decades down the road. Don’t be so quick to ask your friends, or feel obligated to ask all of your friends. Wait, and take time to select your wedding party with your partner. Don’t rush the selection process.
Do take time for yourselves before diving into wedding planning. A lot of couples we meet are so excited to get the ball rolling, but it is totally okay to enjoy newly engaged bliss for a couple of months before having to plan the wedding details. Planning a wedding can bring added stress to a relationship. You need to ensure that your finances are set in place and you and your partner are on the same page prior to starting the planning process. There’s added pressure when it comes to planning a wedding, so just breathe and take a few months to just enjoy the moments. Don’t feel pressured to start right away. You don’t need any added stress when you should just be celebrating being engaged.
Don’t pay attention to all of the opinions. Once you’re engaged, your family and friends may have a lot of opinions on what you should do, or what you “need” on your wedding day. A lot of couples may even feel pressured, especially if their family is funding the wedding day. Set boundaries with your friends and family and sit down with your partner to discuss all of the details, first before bringing your ideas to your family and friends. Remember, that this is YOUR wedding. It’s not a family reunion. Craft the details of your wedding with your partner and your wedding planner. You and your partner are the ultimate decision-makers for your wedding day. And, don’t take the opinions of others personally. Plan what you like, because you want to be able to enjoy the day, too.
Do remember that this is supposed to be a fun time and enjoyable process. If you’re feeling even a little bit stressed, talk to your partner about hiring someone to support the planning process. In the wedding industry, there are so many different companies that offer services for various needs. With our company alone, we offer consultations, full and partial wedding planning services, and even a day of coordination. Sometimes just having extra hands in the planning process, or individuals that can do the leg work for you will take any added stress off your plate. Remember, you don’t have to plan alone, you have your partner, and if you choose, hire a wedding planner or coordinator to help you along the way. You definitely don’t want to remember your wedding planning process as a stressful time. This should be one of the most enjoyable and memorable times for you and your partner.
So that’s my best advice on the do’s and don’ts I wish I had done when I first got engaged. Do enjoy your new role as a fiancé, and enjoy spending quality time with your fiancé. Enjoy the period of being newly engaged, because it won’t last for long. Don’t feel rushed in the planning process, and if you’re feeling stressed, seek help from wedding professionals. Remember to keep the opinions of others on the back burner, and share the news with people you love. And if you’re reading this, newly engaged, congratulations from our team at Elegant Affairs. Buckle up and enjoy the newly engaged ride!
Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Seattle Wedding Planner with over 17 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.